13 AUGUST, MON, 10:52PM

August the 13, it's my birthday!

I have always treasure my birthday, but I always keep this feeling to myself. On this day, I was born. On this day, there were numerous unforgettable memories being carved. On this day, I always hope for the impossible thing to happen. It is impossible because, it is really not likely to happen ha..

I have been loving a person for a long time. But I never have the urge to tell the story, but not today. Let's talk about why I am suffering all this long. YES! It is LOVE.

For me, Love is always a very far thing. Yea, it can be seen but I can hardly touch it, feel it, taste it, live with it. The reason is, there is a very big barrier in between, that barrier keeps me away from love. I don't know and have no idea when would I have the courage to overcome it but before hand, it is the person I like so much that tortures me. Lets name the person B.

We have been knowing each other for quite some time. Somehow I am very close with B. We have been doing many activities together. But the problem is, I couldn't show my love to B for a very solid reason. And it seemed to me that B doesn't have any liking towards me. B treats me, well perhaps as a good friend but that makes me suffer even more. Sometimes, I would wish that, an unreachable love is better off vanished without any traces. If B doesn't exist I would have whole lot more time to do the things I wanna do. If B doesn't exist, I would have the excuse to switch my attention to somebody else. If B doesn't exist, I think I wouldn't be like a coward, hypocrite and a moron, as of now, to myself, to B and to other people. I am so damn fucking sad, disappointed and tired.. In turn, if I do not exist, everything wouldn't be so complicated. I am never saying that I am gonna kill myself. Just that, if I do not exist.

I watched a movie, "The Forgotten", 2 years ago. I wish the missing boy could be either me, or B.

Today is my birthday, I am happy to get so many blessing from some lost friends. Among them are SK Kiu, YK Chua, ST Bong, Jenny, HL Wong, CT Ku, CL Liu, CB Chua, Leo, Jocelyn, 庆秀, Y Ling, TK Ling, HG Ooi, TW Jong, my dearest godbrother and sister高米、文卉、高成, JH Pui, KY Chia, Eunice, SP Wong, my best friend KY Lim, KC Wong, Jimmy, Jane chin, KS Lau, CW Jong, LF Ngu and some forgotten buddies! Thanks. My life is revitalized for a moment upon receiving the blessings, the regards from you. And special thanks to a buddy back in UPM, Yong Chuan, for his nice encouragement in my dark hour days ago. I would like to share it with all of you!

On the life stage
You are the director, the script writer, the actor, and the hero
Sometimes, you are shining bright
Sometimes, you would be behind the curtain

BUT

No matter how is your performance, never should you give up

FOR
You are acting the role of yourself

I wanna make a wish before the bell knocks^^
I wish I could find my passion in life. I wish my family to have health. I wish B could be out of my mind, or if the case does happen reversely, I hope we could be together.

Wish is just a wish. Be happy, Nothing is gonna happen, but it gives people a slight hope in the future. "At least I did think like this before", you would say.