Apparently, what has happened is not as hard as I thought to deal with. The leaked secret somehow, brings the feeling of disappointment, instead of shame. I will believe in time, hope to get recovered as soon as possible.
Anyway, I am probably in the midst of adult-transition trauma, worrying about the future- job, marriage, loan and some other. Am I ready to become an adult? I always wonder. I love to live in fantasy and I love to think like teenager despite my thinking model is far more mature than anybody. Getting old is not a good thing because it signals my attention to accept what is the real world.
Wealth, I don't have it. Health, I think I am having it, though I can never tell before going through a thorough medical checkup. And love, oh mine.. I do not dare to imagine bout it. Career, well, as long as it gives nice pay I think its fine. Happiness, I have some of it. Depress, I suffer a lot from it. So as a conclusion, I am not a happy man, I never will be.
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