Just now I read the "Personal Message" of a friend
It sounds like this,
"Any last disappointments, 2008? Cos I'm sure 2009 can't wait to start.."
What do you think of this, readers?
My disappointment.. is there?
In fact I am a man with no disappointment, as if I do, it means I "made the wrong decision"
Anyway I can't help to confess about how me and my friend were caught in a fight in the mid of 2008.
The fight had greatly affected me, changed me, and is still shaping me, for better or for worst, I dunno..
Nevertheless, what I am happy this year is, I have a job, which most of the people in the world do not have currently.
My pay is not that high I admit -.-" but I hope with my very little contribution, I could bring utmost joy to my family, and to those I love around me.
And now is about my goal towards 2009
1. I am going to change the way of my arrogance in talking
2. I am again, not going to throw a single tantrum to my parents
3. I want to save at least 15k in my bank account
4. I want to fall in love with a person I like :P (well, a bit hard)
5. I am going to take up exercise
6. I have to maintain my weight to 60KG or below
7. I need to get a new job as the current's.. **speechless**
8. I want to make new friends
9. I will try not to sleep too late and wake up earlier in the morning. (Please, some tolerance to me at times)
10. I want to visit somewhere with people I like to be with
11. .. (think of the 11th for quite some time) OK, I will write at least 5 entries each month in my blog (I mean at least^^)
Good bye 2008, I really love you. What happened(s) have been so meaningful to my life, and gives me encouragements, lessons, and knowledge.
I love you 2008, and its the last time (about to cry liao ha.. I am such a sentimental person lol)
Good night readers.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
28 DEC, SUN, 6:16PM
我觉得很难受
原因也是因为搞不清楚自己到底是怎么了
在我的生命中，出现了第三个人
第二个人，是喜欢了很久的人
第三个人也就当然不是认识很久的人啊
到底我的郁闷
是因为对自己不确定
还是不确定对方对自己
这是一个生命中的抉择
不是我抉择别人
而是个思维上的抉择
现在这种心情，做什么也不成
只能向要玩些什么，要如何忘掉烦恼的东西
今天跟H谈了不少
也了解了一些事物的真相
也碰触到了我的问题
H好坚强好开朗
真希望我会有那么一天
现在也分不清到底是渴望，还是不渴望了
原因也是因为搞不清楚自己到底是怎么了
在我的生命中，出现了第三个人
第二个人，是喜欢了很久的人
第三个人也就当然不是认识很久的人啊
到底我的郁闷
是因为对自己不确定
还是不确定对方对自己
这是一个生命中的抉择
不是我抉择别人
而是个思维上的抉择
现在这种心情，做什么也不成
只能向要玩些什么，要如何忘掉烦恼的东西
今天跟H谈了不少
也了解了一些事物的真相
也碰触到了我的问题
H好坚强好开朗
真希望我会有那么一天
现在也分不清到底是渴望，还是不渴望了
Thursday, December 25, 2008
25 DEC, THU, 6:11PM
2008年的圣诞节
很特别
为什么竟然会开始想念那个人呢？
一起度过的时光总历历在目
可能真的有感觉了才这样吧？
人们常说，佳节期间总会特别挂念喜欢的人
但这一次的喜欢又可以撑个多久呢？
是你么？
圣诞节快乐，对你说
也对自己说
很特别
为什么竟然会开始想念那个人呢？
一起度过的时光总历历在目
可能真的有感觉了才这样吧？
人们常说，佳节期间总会特别挂念喜欢的人
但这一次的喜欢又可以撑个多久呢？
是你么？
圣诞节快乐，对你说
也对自己说
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
24 DEC, WED, 8:08PM
Tonight is Christmas Eve
While the atmosphere is extraordinarily dead silent
I could feel a serenity at mind, just that the mechanical sound of the vehicles outside is disturbing me
How long have it been, to be all alone spending a Christmas Eve?
I am quite happy for having the chance
The occasion gives me extra room to think of my life
The people around me, and the taste of loneliness
I am a stalker behind the wall
What would have to be at the other side of the wall?
I wonder
Memorable moment
The 24th December of year 2008
I bet it will be forever in my memory, of today
This particular day..
While the atmosphere is extraordinarily dead silent
I could feel a serenity at mind, just that the mechanical sound of the vehicles outside is disturbing me
How long have it been, to be all alone spending a Christmas Eve?
I am quite happy for having the chance
The occasion gives me extra room to think of my life
The people around me, and the taste of loneliness
I am a stalker behind the wall
What would have to be at the other side of the wall?
I wonder
Memorable moment
The 24th December of year 2008
I bet it will be forever in my memory, of today
This particular day..
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
23 DEC, TUE, 5:31PM
下午回到来后，沉闷的日子又要开始了。
今天，我决定了不要靠人家，因为靠人家真的会被他人看不起
今天，我自己学会了更新汽车保险，学会了去联络检验车子的人，也身为一个外国人，且没有执照的身份下，尝试去更新路税，但还算有趣。
这个月里，我觉得我有成长了不少。
当别人懒惰跟我讲话的时候，我也不会贱卖自己的人格自己的口水
人与人之间存在的是一种信任吧
当失去了时，就很难在找回来了
最明显的例子，也是最伤我的例子，莫过于那一个人
现在想起来当时我们的关系，心痛的感觉也消逝的无影无踪了
可以回味，可以缺了那一份珍惜感，那份难舍的感觉
人，真的会很严重的改变呢嘻……
今年遗留下来的时间终于将完结了
想想今年到底做了些什么深刻的事情
嗯……不然说说影响我深远的事情有多少件
一件
第二件
应该是这两件吧哈……
因为这两件事，使我成长了不少
思想也成熟了，也改变了想法，也变得坚强了
在我中五的时候，姐姐就是常跟我讲一句话
“你现在想的，是你18岁的想法”
当初我是多么的坚决否定
现在，不得不承认咯^^
今天，我决定了不要靠人家，因为靠人家真的会被他人看不起
今天，我自己学会了更新汽车保险，学会了去联络检验车子的人，也身为一个外国人，且没有执照的身份下，尝试去更新路税，但还算有趣。
这个月里，我觉得我有成长了不少。
当别人懒惰跟我讲话的时候，我也不会贱卖自己的人格自己的口水
人与人之间存在的是一种信任吧
当失去了时，就很难在找回来了
最明显的例子，也是最伤我的例子，莫过于那一个人
现在想起来当时我们的关系，心痛的感觉也消逝的无影无踪了
可以回味，可以缺了那一份珍惜感，那份难舍的感觉
人，真的会很严重的改变呢嘻……
今年遗留下来的时间终于将完结了
想想今年到底做了些什么深刻的事情
嗯……不然说说影响我深远的事情有多少件
一件
第二件
应该是这两件吧哈……
因为这两件事，使我成长了不少
思想也成熟了，也改变了想法，也变得坚强了
在我中五的时候，姐姐就是常跟我讲一句话
“你现在想的，是你18岁的想法”
当初我是多么的坚决否定
现在，不得不承认咯^^
Monday, December 22, 2008
22 DEC, MON, 11:08PM
感觉自己的身份越来越危险
不自觉的情况下，做了很多冒险的行为
简直自寻死路……
其实被发现是我，会否会变成一种很严重的下场？
我不知道
但，我想也没很大的问题吧
但我还是不想
最近很郁闷
公司上下我再也感觉不到以往的生气
再也听不到我喜欢听到的笑声
有的，只是公事上的东西
原来想要的东西，不到失去的那一刻是不会了解的
在这间公司上班，我已遗失了热诚和热忱
也渐渐的感觉不到温暖了
只是很死板的工作工作工作
工作以外的事，对某些人来讲完全不重要
可是真得很好笑，为何你会如此想，我真的不明白
你到最后可能你会后悔吧？也许……
对于别人的公司，我没兴趣
有人跟我说，如果你打工也不能全力以赴，那根本做不了老板
真的吗？
我是不会屈服于这一点的。
在这一年的日子里
我享尽了空虚寂寞孤独寂静的日子
我想了好多好多
我想相对的，我的思维也成长了不少吧？
我希望得到心灵上的满足，故来到外地工干
但其实我也很心满意足了，因为我交到了几个朋友
我本属于孤独派的，交肯为自己着想的朋友本来就不易
那么多的人，W，你才是朋友啊嘻……
可能还有一个你吧？J+J
不自觉的情况下，做了很多冒险的行为
简直自寻死路……
其实被发现是我，会否会变成一种很严重的下场？
我不知道
但，我想也没很大的问题吧
但我还是不想
最近很郁闷
公司上下我再也感觉不到以往的生气
再也听不到我喜欢听到的笑声
有的，只是公事上的东西
原来想要的东西，不到失去的那一刻是不会了解的
在这间公司上班，我已遗失了热诚和热忱
也渐渐的感觉不到温暖了
只是很死板的工作工作工作
工作以外的事，对某些人来讲完全不重要
可是真得很好笑，为何你会如此想，我真的不明白
你到最后可能你会后悔吧？也许……
对于别人的公司，我没兴趣
有人跟我说，如果你打工也不能全力以赴，那根本做不了老板
真的吗？
我是不会屈服于这一点的。
在这一年的日子里
我享尽了空虚寂寞孤独寂静的日子
我想了好多好多
我想相对的，我的思维也成长了不少吧？
我希望得到心灵上的满足，故来到外地工干
但其实我也很心满意足了，因为我交到了几个朋友
我本属于孤独派的，交肯为自己着想的朋友本来就不易
那么多的人，W，你才是朋友啊嘻……
可能还有一个你吧？J+J
Sunday, December 14, 2008
14 DEC, SUN, 10:47PM
有点幸福，因为这个时间我还能上网
没有顾虑，没有人吵我，不用担心家人被疏忽，有点似天堂呢~
刚刚驾车的路上，听到了嘉文在周末派讲的一则故事
很感动。
故事讲述着一个丈夫跟一个太太的故事
丈夫事业有成，也很爱妻子，可是太忙于工作；
妻子贤淑漂亮，也很爱丈夫，经常一个人在家。
妻子好常一个人在家，度过日子。
妻子想为丈夫生个宝宝，可是有一天她发现自己患上子宫癌
妻子不愿把子宫割了，因为割除了就永远不能有宝宝
抱着一天一天的冒险，最后还是没能有宝宝
当丈夫发觉他的妻子在医院时，妻子只好剩下最后一口气
跟丈夫道了别，就离开人世了
妻子留给丈夫的遗物，是1095个短片
每一个短片，都是妻子每一天录下，然后跟丈夫分享的点滴琐事
1095，也是他俩结婚后，共同度过的日子。
每一个短片，都是一天
越接近末尾，就越悲伤
丈夫一直哭，哭到忘了如何再掉眼泪
故事讲着一个很简单的讯息
珍惜眼前人，家人是最重要的
今天就跟大家共勉至此。
没有顾虑，没有人吵我，不用担心家人被疏忽，有点似天堂呢~
刚刚驾车的路上，听到了嘉文在周末派讲的一则故事
很感动。
故事讲述着一个丈夫跟一个太太的故事
丈夫事业有成，也很爱妻子，可是太忙于工作；
妻子贤淑漂亮，也很爱丈夫，经常一个人在家。
妻子好常一个人在家，度过日子。
妻子想为丈夫生个宝宝，可是有一天她发现自己患上子宫癌
妻子不愿把子宫割了，因为割除了就永远不能有宝宝
抱着一天一天的冒险，最后还是没能有宝宝
当丈夫发觉他的妻子在医院时，妻子只好剩下最后一口气
跟丈夫道了别，就离开人世了
妻子留给丈夫的遗物，是1095个短片
每一个短片，都是妻子每一天录下，然后跟丈夫分享的点滴琐事
1095，也是他俩结婚后，共同度过的日子。
每一个短片，都是一天
越接近末尾，就越悲伤
丈夫一直哭，哭到忘了如何再掉眼泪
故事讲着一个很简单的讯息
珍惜眼前人，家人是最重要的
今天就跟大家共勉至此。
Friday, December 5, 2008
5 DEC, FRI, 5:06PM
不知怎搞的
最近越来越无所事事
是烦躁？是示威？
总之，就是没有这个心情工作
2天前
我发现了个惊人的秘密
公司亏待了我，而且是大亏待
令得我很失望
情况是如此：
我在外坡公干，公司对我说
“因为你在外坡公干，公司会特别给你外坡的津贴”
“只要你在外坡公干至少19天，你就可以得到公司特别津贴，RM600。”
听起来好好，我做工整整一年了，前天竟然发现同事跟我说:
“我觉得公司太亏待你了，我们外地过来的，每天可以拿到35元的当地货币。”
(1元的当地货币=RM2.40)
只知道起初我不以为然
后来查了员工手册，发觉大不对劲！
RM600=254元的当地货币
254除35，意思不就是说，人家过来外坡公干7天，就是我辛苦呆在外坡公干一个月的津贴了吗？
简直就是。。不可理喻。。
我的日制津贴是12元，而人家的津贴，是35元？
看来，我不止被摆了一道，还被当了便宜劳工呢~
Thursday, November 27, 2008
27 NOV, THU, 7:46PM
刚刚深了一场不大不小的病
脑子依旧很模糊
不知道这几天做了什么也不想去想
这些日子感觉很多
在目前的公司更有有趣以及令人惊讶的事情发生
变更太大
一时之间我也毫无头绪
我觉得有点儿接受不来哈……
我还是很嫩呢
发生了太多太多的事
广州……
吉隆坡的日语考试……
公司即将离去的同事……即将加入的面孔……
工作的前景……
工作上的种种问题……
人事……
感情……
期盼……
还有自己的身体状况……
一切的一切
无一不令我关切
有点太累去想
好想简简单单
却好像轰轰烈烈
矛盾……
加无奈……
Life still keeps on.. Understood?
今天已步入十一月尾
新年也将来临
在想……我还要发呆多久呢？
脑子依旧很模糊
不知道这几天做了什么也不想去想
这些日子感觉很多
在目前的公司更有有趣以及令人惊讶的事情发生
变更太大
一时之间我也毫无头绪
我觉得有点儿接受不来哈……
我还是很嫩呢
发生了太多太多的事
广州……
吉隆坡的日语考试……
公司即将离去的同事……即将加入的面孔……
工作的前景……
工作上的种种问题……
人事……
感情……
期盼……
还有自己的身体状况……
一切的一切
无一不令我关切
有点太累去想
好想简简单单
却好像轰轰烈烈
矛盾……
加无奈……
Life still keeps on.. Understood?
今天已步入十一月尾
新年也将来临
在想……我还要发呆多久呢？
Monday, November 17, 2008
17 NOV, MON, 9:28PM
今天是隔了十一天
再回到了部落格
今天也是我将为自己写下的第300个心情
当自己的情绪稳定时
自己不容易下手写日记
也许是因为不寂寞的关系？
对于上个星期
我真的感到很开心快乐
因为有J的存在，令我感觉特别的不一样
J是个很有礼貌的孩子
很有幽默感
有时会配合我开玩笑
有时会讲些令我不知所措的玩笑
有时会令我有点失神
有时也会令我有点紧张
我觉得
J是我生命中的其中一个天使
为了点绚我可怜的灵魂
为了慰籍我枯燥的日子
也许你并不会停留很久
但你的影子，总是令我感到一阵阵的温馨
在大屋里，感觉到了你余留下来的痕迹
时光匆匆，来也匆匆去也匆匆
无法回头，也无法从来
我就跟他们说了
时间不是一个小时一个小时地过
而是一分一秒，滴滴答答的消逝
啊……多希望一切可以倒回去
倒回去中四的日子
我
一定会好好珍惜，一定好好地享受与争取
今年的我25
明年是26
当朋友成家立业时，也许我已经30了
再回到了部落格
今天也是我将为自己写下的第300个心情
当自己的情绪稳定时
自己不容易下手写日记
也许是因为不寂寞的关系？
对于上个星期
我真的感到很开心快乐
因为有J的存在，令我感觉特别的不一样
J是个很有礼貌的孩子
很有幽默感
有时会配合我开玩笑
有时会讲些令我不知所措的玩笑
有时会令我有点失神
有时也会令我有点紧张
我觉得
J是我生命中的其中一个天使
为了点绚我可怜的灵魂
为了慰籍我枯燥的日子
也许你并不会停留很久
但你的影子，总是令我感到一阵阵的温馨
在大屋里，感觉到了你余留下来的痕迹
时光匆匆，来也匆匆去也匆匆
无法回头，也无法从来
我就跟他们说了
时间不是一个小时一个小时地过
而是一分一秒，滴滴答答的消逝
啊……多希望一切可以倒回去
倒回去中四的日子
我
一定会好好珍惜，一定好好地享受与争取
今年的我25
明年是26
当朋友成家立业时，也许我已经30了
Friday, November 7, 2008
6 NOV, FRI, 10:45PM
难得的星期五又来了
星期五是我最期待的一天
因为
我不用出门
我可以呆在家上网玩游戏
劳累了一个星期
感觉有一点点空虚
也感觉好像整个星期虚度了
一直以来，都有这种感想
而另一方面
我觉得，我不该过分要求了
哈……这已经是最好了吧
嗯……我到底想怎样呢？
好希望有个崭新的生存意义
讲的
应该是“爱”吧
星期五是我最期待的一天
因为
我不用出门
我可以呆在家上网玩游戏
劳累了一个星期
感觉有一点点空虚
也感觉好像整个星期虚度了
一直以来，都有这种感想
而另一方面
我觉得，我不该过分要求了
哈……这已经是最好了吧
嗯……我到底想怎样呢？
好希望有个崭新的生存意义
讲的
应该是“爱”吧
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
4 NOV, TUE, 7:43PM
今天我很火爆
什么时候开始，自己竟已经充满了埋怨
有一点懊恼
有一点不悦
我觉得很无奈
也觉得很纳闷
无奈于我还必须在此公司上班
剪不断理还乱
纳闷于我不知道自己做着什么
感觉失去方向
天天往公司住处跑
也不知道得来的是什么
今天跟你聊了天
也发现原来我已经失去了自己
我失去了兴趣
我的生命每天都是工作
我，到底还想什么？
我不想离开公司
但又想离开公司
不想是因为我对公司有眷恋
对同事有不舍
而想是因为我对老板极失望
从来不顾及我的感受
我好矛盾呢……怎办好？
好想有个人在身旁让我睡进怀里
哈……妄想
什么时候开始，自己竟已经充满了埋怨
有一点懊恼
有一点不悦
我觉得很无奈
也觉得很纳闷
无奈于我还必须在此公司上班
剪不断理还乱
纳闷于我不知道自己做着什么
感觉失去方向
天天往公司住处跑
也不知道得来的是什么
今天跟你聊了天
也发现原来我已经失去了自己
我失去了兴趣
我的生命每天都是工作
我，到底还想什么？
我不想离开公司
但又想离开公司
不想是因为我对公司有眷恋
对同事有不舍
而想是因为我对老板极失望
从来不顾及我的感受
我好矛盾呢……怎办好？
好想有个人在身旁让我睡进怀里
哈……妄想
Monday, November 3, 2008
3 NOV, MON, 6:36PM
心情很纳闷
几天被几件事情影响了
一乃工作
二乃朋友
三乃国家
尤其是三……
逢星期日都会有的《你怎么说》于昨天被腰斩了
感觉很莫名其妙，发觉我们的国家也越来越不像话了
《你怎么说》给了人民一个平台畅谈国家文经
也给了人民一个很好的学习场所
亦给了我们国家华裔一个民族的图画
本想应该会是个收视率越来越好的节目
但才一个星期（正确的来说是3天），节目就被临时腰斩了
很错愕哈……
我们的国家、我们现在的政府真的好行！
几时啊……变天的日子还有多远呢？
人民大概不会再在意是否朝野能否执政
总之，在野党是真的令人失望顶透了
今天的心情差得不得了
几天被几件事情影响了
一乃工作
二乃朋友
三乃国家
尤其是三……
逢星期日都会有的《你怎么说》于昨天被腰斩了
感觉很莫名其妙，发觉我们的国家也越来越不像话了
《你怎么说》给了人民一个平台畅谈国家文经
也给了人民一个很好的学习场所
亦给了我们国家华裔一个民族的图画
本想应该会是个收视率越来越好的节目
但才一个星期（正确的来说是3天），节目就被临时腰斩了
很错愕哈……
我们的国家、我们现在的政府真的好行！
几时啊……变天的日子还有多远呢？
人民大概不会再在意是否朝野能否执政
总之，在野党是真的令人失望顶透了
今天的心情差得不得了
Thursday, October 30, 2008
30 OCT, THU, 8:19PM
《给他的一封信》
昨天遇了你这一位朋友
虽然我们结识的时间不多，但我们却似曾相识
跟你谈了不少，了解了也不少
对我来说，我们生来就是为了经历考验
当你证实了自己的能力时，你就已经长大了
我有过不比你好过痛苦的经历，我挨下去了
我长大了
至于爱
你可曾对爱有过什么感想嗯？
问世间情为何物，至叫人生死相许？
你的“爱”不可以只是这一句
我希望你可以察觉身边感受下
其实，“爱”无所不在
祖父祖母的爱
父母亲的爱
亲戚的爱
兄弟姐妹的爱
朋友也有爱
甚至陌生人有时对你也有爱
爱，无所不在
希望你可以了解
希望你可以接受我说的
我的人生被爱充满
我相信你一定也是
要相信明天会更好
要相信还有下一次的邂逅
要相信原来每个生命在这个世界上，都是那么有价值
加油Colin
昨天遇了你这一位朋友
虽然我们结识的时间不多，但我们却似曾相识
跟你谈了不少，了解了也不少
对我来说，我们生来就是为了经历考验
当你证实了自己的能力时，你就已经长大了
我有过不比你好过痛苦的经历，我挨下去了
我长大了
至于爱
你可曾对爱有过什么感想嗯？
问世间情为何物，至叫人生死相许？
你的“爱”不可以只是这一句
我希望你可以察觉身边感受下
其实，“爱”无所不在
祖父祖母的爱
父母亲的爱
亲戚的爱
兄弟姐妹的爱
朋友也有爱
甚至陌生人有时对你也有爱
爱，无所不在
希望你可以了解
希望你可以接受我说的
我的人生被爱充满
我相信你一定也是
要相信明天会更好
要相信还有下一次的邂逅
要相信原来每个生命在这个世界上，都是那么有价值
加油Colin
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
28 OCT, TUE, 7:05PM
隔了好久再次回到这里
不一样的心情
如果你还看着我的博格，我要让你知道我不再在乎了
我会做应该的事
我的情绪低落，而关于所发生的我更不清楚
我并非一个喜欢争论的人
我觉得还是一个人静一静想一想
可能就会有个头绪
我说过我只要睡了一觉就可以恢复心情
这次很明显的，没那么简单
也未然不奏效
最近的事物又开始一大堆
我感觉我的精力又要从刚刚正要恢复的时候又开始消耗了
我很矛盾，我不知道我工作的宗旨
我觉得离开应该是最好的选择
离开这片土地队到家乡
做一段时间，再出发往另一个地点
唯一可以让我不舍的，还是家人跟B
太久没提及你了
最近我的心很伤啊
很谢谢你昨天给我献上的
我最近我更贴切的体会到
原来我已不能爱人了，因为我的爱都献给了你
世界不停的转动
我还是在原地
心理无奈的冲动
仍然埋没此地
不一样的心情
如果你还看着我的博格，我要让你知道我不再在乎了
我会做应该的事
我的情绪低落，而关于所发生的我更不清楚
我并非一个喜欢争论的人
我觉得还是一个人静一静想一想
可能就会有个头绪
我说过我只要睡了一觉就可以恢复心情
这次很明显的，没那么简单
也未然不奏效
最近的事物又开始一大堆
我感觉我的精力又要从刚刚正要恢复的时候又开始消耗了
我很矛盾，我不知道我工作的宗旨
我觉得离开应该是最好的选择
离开这片土地队到家乡
做一段时间，再出发往另一个地点
唯一可以让我不舍的，还是家人跟B
太久没提及你了
最近我的心很伤啊
很谢谢你昨天给我献上的
我最近我更贴切的体会到
原来我已不能爱人了，因为我的爱都献给了你
世界不停的转动
我还是在原地
心理无奈的冲动
仍然埋没此地
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
21 OCT, TUE, 8:20PM
It's boring lately, and it is busy.
A mixture of boredom and business, plus some seasonings of disappointment and contradiction-- Yea, its my life.
For the past 2 weeks I have been working like nuts, though I might not seem to, but it was. Pressure plus some unreasonable requests, and some threatening emails, and also some stimulator from everywhere.
Sigh**
Alas, I am here now. I can finally take a deep breath and lay peacefully on my bed.
Last saturday I went for the interview at an International Company. They are big and organized. Yes, I do have the urge to take off my current dress and put on a new costume, but who knows what it might turn up later?
People are telling me constantly about a fact. Well I don't know whether it is a fact or just saying, or just a mere concept.
"After it changes, it might not really be better"
A good point to ponder.. What do you think people?
My point of view is,
If I don't make the changes, what I am sure is, things will remain the same. For better or worse sake? Well haha.. who cares.
A mixture of boredom and business, plus some seasonings of disappointment and contradiction-- Yea, its my life.
For the past 2 weeks I have been working like nuts, though I might not seem to, but it was. Pressure plus some unreasonable requests, and some threatening emails, and also some stimulator from everywhere.
Sigh**
Alas, I am here now. I can finally take a deep breath and lay peacefully on my bed.
Last saturday I went for the interview at an International Company. They are big and organized. Yes, I do have the urge to take off my current dress and put on a new costume, but who knows what it might turn up later?
People are telling me constantly about a fact. Well I don't know whether it is a fact or just saying, or just a mere concept.
"After it changes, it might not really be better"
A good point to ponder.. What do you think people?
My point of view is,
If I don't make the changes, what I am sure is, things will remain the same. For better or worse sake? Well haha.. who cares.
Monday, October 13, 2008
13 OCT, MON, 9:55PM
It has really been a long time I haven't been using English to write my blog? The reason? Because there is this guy named Cheng who always like to peep into my blog.
Aduh Cheng.. This blog is not meant for anyone to read one lar, only authorized person can read it.. I suppose you might check it up again..@@
Life has been tough, of course, and it has been tougher these days. Last week I was being thrown some word, which I dislike a lot. Least did he expect that i was in a bad mood that day, with those words, I treat it as humiliation and sarcastism.
Well then my boss, I just wanna let you know that, since this is the thing you want it to be, then let it be.
Apart from this hmm~~ What else do I need to say more. Actually there is nothing to write, just that I noticed some blog of friend, which was written in Englishm, and that made me wonder how have my writing in English has become. Well let's see.
Aduh Cheng.. This blog is not meant for anyone to read one lar, only authorized person can read it.. I suppose you might check it up again..@@
Life has been tough, of course, and it has been tougher these days. Last week I was being thrown some word, which I dislike a lot. Least did he expect that i was in a bad mood that day, with those words, I treat it as humiliation and sarcastism.
Well then my boss, I just wanna let you know that, since this is the thing you want it to be, then let it be.
Apart from this hmm~~ What else do I need to say more. Actually there is nothing to write, just that I noticed some blog of friend, which was written in Englishm, and that made me wonder how have my writing in English has become. Well let's see.
13 OCT, MON, 9:20PM
好喜欢《男人女人》这首歌曲
它反映了恋爱的童话故事
纯真的感情
但却不实际的爱情
想了好多天……
这个星期我忘了带被单
导致我没有被单好盖
一个人睡的房间已不陌生
但没有被单的晚上却是寂寞的
一个人冷到了多在角落
试着想想
如果有个人来抱，会是怎样的感觉呢？
上个星期六我度过了一个很特别的晚上
遇到了两个人
结交了两个人
期待着下一次的见面
好喜欢的一种感觉
原来
出来泡是这么一回事
它反映了恋爱的童话故事
纯真的感情
但却不实际的爱情
想了好多天……
这个星期我忘了带被单
导致我没有被单好盖
一个人睡的房间已不陌生
但没有被单的晚上却是寂寞的
一个人冷到了多在角落
试着想想
如果有个人来抱，会是怎样的感觉呢？
上个星期六我度过了一个很特别的晚上
遇到了两个人
结交了两个人
期待着下一次的见面
好喜欢的一种感觉
原来
出来泡是这么一回事
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
8 OCT, WED, 9:28PM
近来有点烦恼
好多事情困扰着我
我觉得我有点自私
也有点力不从心
现在原来又来到了另一个阶段
树立我人格的另外一个阶段
最近烦恼的事有以下
公司里的工作
一个捉摸不清的感情
一个又爱又恨的朋友
哈哈，是你啦
一个欲罢不休的感情
家庭
朋友
佛堂
有时我在想，是不是我太太太贪心了呢？
全部
我都很在意我都很想顾及
原来心有余力不足时真有其事
明天又是一个艰难的一天
你跟我讲过我为何不哭
我哭啊，但没有流泪
流血泪
好多事情困扰着我
我觉得我有点自私
也有点力不从心
现在原来又来到了另一个阶段
树立我人格的另外一个阶段
最近烦恼的事有以下
公司里的工作
一个捉摸不清的感情
一个又爱又恨的朋友
哈哈，是你啦
一个欲罢不休的感情
家庭
朋友
佛堂
有时我在想，是不是我太太太贪心了呢？
全部
我都很在意我都很想顾及
原来心有余力不足时真有其事
明天又是一个艰难的一天
你跟我讲过我为何不哭
我哭啊，但没有流泪
流血泪
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
7 OCT, TUE, 9:34PM
最近
纵使跟B已渐渐和好
但
还是很郁闷
原因
不外是已预知到即将发生的事情
进展
有可能会和以往一样吗？
期待的一段感情可能就快变成泡沫
原来真的，它，说来就来说走就走
哈……有一点点心痛的感觉
原因吗？
嗯……不方便这里透露
最近的生活
有一点儿忙得不可开交
心情的转变很大幅度
但
有时就在想
这何尝不是一种生命的磨练吗？
眼睛有点倦了
好想睡觉
好像躺在人家的怀抱睡觉
幻想着一种至今都陌生的感觉
期待着一个或许永远无法兑现的梦
纵使跟B已渐渐和好
但
还是很郁闷
原因
不外是已预知到即将发生的事情
进展
有可能会和以往一样吗？
期待的一段感情可能就快变成泡沫
原来真的，它，说来就来说走就走
哈……有一点点心痛的感觉
原因吗？
嗯……不方便这里透露
最近的生活
有一点儿忙得不可开交
心情的转变很大幅度
但
有时就在想
这何尝不是一种生命的磨练吗？
眼睛有点倦了
好想睡觉
好像躺在人家的怀抱睡觉
幻想着一种至今都陌生的感觉
期待着一个或许永远无法兑现的梦
Saturday, October 4, 2008
4 OCT, SAT, 1:14AM
凌晨1点许
跟朋友聊得正火热呢
谈着就触碰到亲情
亲情
好玄
这种关系，剪不断理还乱？
不会有隔夜仇不会有不好意思
是那么的自然
缘份撮合了你我他她
不简单啊……
经常觉得自己不孝顺做的不过好
也因此想为两佬做更多
为他们付出更多
曾他们还在世
孔子说过：
父母亲还健在的时候不可出远门
因为让父母亲担心就是不孝
我自几年前
深切的体会了
当你看到自己的父母为子女掉泪
挥别子女，但又一幅很坚强不在乎的样子
我敢保证
他们心里暗哭泣
人家问我
为何那么妥协父母苦了自己？
曾经
我看了一个PPT
我掉泪了，为我的父母掉泪
我们年幼至今
他们可曾松懈
可曾因我们的“你别管我”而不管我们么？
答案，大家比谁都更清楚
如今看来
日子，是一天一天的消逝
能尽多几天孝心就那几天
谁也不知道下一秒的事
父母啊，对我来讲是最重要的
没有人取代得了他们
他们开心，纵使我不开心
没问题
因为是他们
所以享有这特权
我爱你们爸妈……
跟朋友聊得正火热呢
谈着就触碰到亲情
亲情
好玄
这种关系，剪不断理还乱？
不会有隔夜仇不会有不好意思
是那么的自然
缘份撮合了你我他她
不简单啊……
经常觉得自己不孝顺做的不过好
也因此想为两佬做更多
为他们付出更多
曾他们还在世
孔子说过：
父母亲还健在的时候不可出远门
因为让父母亲担心就是不孝
我自几年前
深切的体会了
当你看到自己的父母为子女掉泪
挥别子女，但又一幅很坚强不在乎的样子
我敢保证
他们心里暗哭泣
人家问我
为何那么妥协父母苦了自己？
曾经
我看了一个PPT
我掉泪了，为我的父母掉泪
我们年幼至今
他们可曾松懈
可曾因我们的“你别管我”而不管我们么？
答案，大家比谁都更清楚
如今看来
日子，是一天一天的消逝
能尽多几天孝心就那几天
谁也不知道下一秒的事
父母啊，对我来讲是最重要的
没有人取代得了他们
他们开心，纵使我不开心
没问题
因为是他们
所以享有这特权
我爱你们爸妈……
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
DING! DONG! DANG!
见えずにいたものや
知らないでいた事に
触れようとする事は
ものすごく痛いんだ
泣き出したくて
逃げ出したくなる
仆だってそうさ
君一人だけじゃない
意味ない努力や无駄な出会いとか
あるワケないから 拳をかためて
Ding! Dong! Dang!
いくら手を伸ばしても
届かないこの花も
君と手をつなげば
简単につかめるよ
すれ违ったり 误解しあったり
信じるために ケンカもするけれど
今日に伤付いて涙で濡れても
一绪に行こうよ 仆らの明日へ
Ding! Dong! Dang!
卒业しても 大人になっても
君は君でいて 仆は仆らしく
见上げた空は 果てしなく続く
さえぎるものは 何一つないはず
意味ない努力や无駄な出会いとか
あるワケないから 拳をかため
Ding! Dong!
仆に足りないものは君がくれる
君にないものは仆があげるから
Ding! Dong! Dang!
知らないでいた事に
触れようとする事は
ものすごく痛いんだ
泣き出したくて
逃げ出したくなる
仆だってそうさ
君一人だけじゃない
意味ない努力や无駄な出会いとか
あるワケないから 拳をかためて
Ding! Dong! Dang!
いくら手を伸ばしても
届かないこの花も
君と手をつなげば
简単につかめるよ
すれ违ったり 误解しあったり
信じるために ケンカもするけれど
今日に伤付いて涙で濡れても
一绪に行こうよ 仆らの明日へ
Ding! Dong! Dang!
卒业しても 大人になっても
君は君でいて 仆は仆らしく
见上げた空は 果てしなく続く
さえぎるものは 何一つないはず
意味ない努力や无駄な出会いとか
あるワケないから 拳をかため
Ding! Dong!
仆に足りないものは君がくれる
君にないものは仆があげるから
Ding! Dong! Dang!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
30 SEP, TUE, 9:51PM
还是留点心得
因为今天难得
昨天的挫折
如今不再挂着
无法解释清楚
因为仍在梦寐中
希望是真的
希望是长久的
太累的身躯
太倦的心灵
哪怕再多办个考验
就将永远被仇恨淹没
淹没
溺毙
不回头了
今天好累
好悃
打了打呵欠
嗯……
是时候回家了
因为今天难得
昨天的挫折
如今不再挂着
无法解释清楚
因为仍在梦寐中
希望是真的
希望是长久的
太累的身躯
太倦的心灵
哪怕再多办个考验
就将永远被仇恨淹没
淹没
溺毙
不回头了
今天好累
好悃
打了打呵欠
嗯……
是时候回家了
Monday, September 29, 2008
29 SEP, MON, 9:07PM
感觉么
觉得自己很空虚、无奈、及不可思议
原来自己是那么的脆弱微不足道
原来器量更那么的小
很想做一直想要做的事
啊……好累的一天
驾了超过5个小时的车
行驶了超过350公里的路
更感到超过24个小时的无奈
敷衍的三两句
瞒过累透的我
冷淡的一句话
加上身心疲惫
我的心又碎了
已经好久没有这种刺痛的感觉了
啊……真的很好、很新鲜……
但很痛。
没问题的
我是无敌的
我是不败的
因为我学的是影技
觉得自己很空虚、无奈、及不可思议
原来自己是那么的脆弱微不足道
原来器量更那么的小
很想做一直想要做的事
啊……好累的一天
驾了超过5个小时的车
行驶了超过350公里的路
更感到超过24个小时的无奈
敷衍的三两句
瞒过累透的我
冷淡的一句话
加上身心疲惫
我的心又碎了
已经好久没有这种刺痛的感觉了
啊……真的很好、很新鲜……
但很痛。
没问题的
我是无敌的
我是不败的
因为我学的是影技
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
24 SEP, WED, 6:19PM
I am not giving in.
These days' incidents (well particularly THAT one) have really annoyed me. Do I really have to shout this out?
I--
DON'T--
LIKE--
TO--
BE--
ORDERED------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD Dammit!!
I have nothing to lose anyway, so don't challenge me, and you won't want to mess with me, trust me.
sigh.. So brusque..
Oh yea, another thing People.
SILENT DOESN'T REALLY MEAN CONSENT! IT CAN ALSO MEAN REBELLION, BETRAYAL AND OTHERS.
Done!
These days' incidents (well particularly THAT one) have really annoyed me. Do I really have to shout this out?
I--
DON'T--
LIKE--
TO--
BE--
ORDERED------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD Dammit!!
I have nothing to lose anyway, so don't challenge me, and you won't want to mess with me, trust me.
sigh.. So brusque..
Oh yea, another thing People.
SILENT DOESN'T REALLY MEAN CONSENT! IT CAN ALSO MEAN REBELLION, BETRAYAL AND OTHERS.
Done!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
23 SEP, TUE, 5:55PM
跟朋友谈了一阵子的话
我竟然有了一种非常感动的感觉
我感谢上苍感谢命运
我是世界上最最最幸福的人
原来我一直都是
前阵子看了一个PPT作品
里面叙述的是现今台湾的首府郭台铭
他说
直到他失去了父亲
接着失去了母亲
最后失去了妻子
才愕然发现他已经是个穷光蛋了
如今
他觉得最幸福的事并不是拥有全世界
而是母亲为他煮一锅快熟面
但已经不可能了
星期天驾车来一想
心里真的异常地感动
原来一路以来我不就是世界上最富有的人吗？
父母兄弟姐妹
他们没有一个可以被替代
没有了他们
就没有我
有了他们我则是世界上最幸福的人
昨天跟姐姐聊了聊
大胆的跟她们说了
“姐姐，原来我是那么的富有”
当然
她们懂了
她们一定很替我高兴
因为我终于懂了
“对不起”不用怕丢脸
“我爱你”更要大胆说出来
这两句话
却是很多人一生
看最多
讲最少的话
爱
要大胆说出来
说了出来人家也许会笑
但遗留下来的感觉
是温馨
是感恩
是幸福
我竟然有了一种非常感动的感觉
我感谢上苍感谢命运
我是世界上最最最幸福的人
原来我一直都是
前阵子看了一个PPT作品
里面叙述的是现今台湾的首府郭台铭
他说
直到他失去了父亲
接着失去了母亲
最后失去了妻子
才愕然发现他已经是个穷光蛋了
如今
他觉得最幸福的事并不是拥有全世界
而是母亲为他煮一锅快熟面
但已经不可能了
星期天驾车来一想
心里真的异常地感动
原来一路以来我不就是世界上最富有的人吗？
父母兄弟姐妹
他们没有一个可以被替代
没有了他们
就没有我
有了他们我则是世界上最幸福的人
昨天跟姐姐聊了聊
大胆的跟她们说了
“姐姐，原来我是那么的富有”
当然
她们懂了
她们一定很替我高兴
因为我终于懂了
“对不起”不用怕丢脸
“我爱你”更要大胆说出来
这两句话
却是很多人一生
看最多
讲最少的话
爱
要大胆说出来
说了出来人家也许会笑
但遗留下来的感觉
是温馨
是感恩
是幸福
Monday, September 22, 2008
22 SEP, MON, 8:19PM
有一点的不爽，收到了这一封信
Thanks for the sales report.
Few issues that I need to highlight to you:
September 08 is coming to end, which means that 3rd quarter is ending, only left 8 days.
No Sales for HRMS since April 08. Six Months without any sales.
As I look into the Sales Report, you only have 7 active accounts to work on. Since BMC lost, balance only 6.
With the law of sales pipeline, with these 6 active accounts it is not sufficient enough.
Suggestion
Sales pipeline are extremely low. You need to make cold-calls to prospect. Start giving brochure, follow up on the account.
Organized seminars.
** kindly suggest more way if you have any.
Things that I’m looking forward:
Every month I need 10 active sales leads. With presentation
In 1 quarter, there will be 30 leads for you to work on. And with this probability, we could get minimum 2 or 3 accounts out of this.
I need you so submit the sales report on every Friday.
Every Monday (9.00 am), I would like to set a Skype meeting with you to discuss on each of the accounts for at least 45 minutes.
During the meeting, we could discuss on the ways and approach and most important the strategy for each account.
If you would like to add in any suggestion, kindly let me know.
I’m expecting all this activities and changes to start in October 08.
嗯……想了很久，有一点不甘愿
写这封信给我的人并非我的上司
是一个合伙公司的经理
我是不向他负责的
收到这封信真的好可悲
顿时令我产生了辞职的念头
本来有一些心情要写的
但
现在已跌到谷底了
怎办呢
有点不知所措
脑袋空空白白
Thanks for the sales report.
Few issues that I need to highlight to you:
September 08 is coming to end, which means that 3rd quarter is ending, only left 8 days.
No Sales for HRMS since April 08. Six Months without any sales.
As I look into the Sales Report, you only have 7 active accounts to work on. Since BMC lost, balance only 6.
With the law of sales pipeline, with these 6 active accounts it is not sufficient enough.
Suggestion
Sales pipeline are extremely low. You need to make cold-calls to prospect. Start giving brochure, follow up on the account.
Organized seminars.
** kindly suggest more way if you have any.
Things that I’m looking forward:
Every month I need 10 active sales leads. With presentation
In 1 quarter, there will be 30 leads for you to work on. And with this probability, we could get minimum 2 or 3 accounts out of this.
I need you so submit the sales report on every Friday.
Every Monday (9.00 am), I would like to set a Skype meeting with you to discuss on each of the accounts for at least 45 minutes.
During the meeting, we could discuss on the ways and approach and most important the strategy for each account.
If you would like to add in any suggestion, kindly let me know.
I’m expecting all this activities and changes to start in October 08.
嗯……想了很久，有一点不甘愿
写这封信给我的人并非我的上司
是一个合伙公司的经理
我是不向他负责的
收到这封信真的好可悲
顿时令我产生了辞职的念头
本来有一些心情要写的
但
现在已跌到谷底了
怎办呢
有点不知所措
脑袋空空白白
Monday, September 15, 2008
15 SEP, MON, 7:44PM
今天买了一套上班装
费了我的258元哈哈
但却有一点开心
在那个地方闲逛了将近2个小时
约的了一个朋友到了4时许才出现
也谈得很畅快
嗯……他真的很会讲话呢
哈
来到了大都市
最不想的累坏自己
自己最喜欢做的事
还是依然过着一个人的生活
跟几个合得来的朋友见面闲聊
就已很享受了
我
不在乎天长地久了吧
也许我已慢慢地改变了
我
长大了吧
费了我的258元哈哈
但却有一点开心
在那个地方闲逛了将近2个小时
约的了一个朋友到了4时许才出现
也谈得很畅快
嗯……他真的很会讲话呢
哈
来到了大都市
最不想的累坏自己
自己最喜欢做的事
还是依然过着一个人的生活
跟几个合得来的朋友见面闲聊
就已很享受了
我
不在乎天长地久了吧
也许我已慢慢地改变了
我
长大了吧
Saturday, September 13, 2008
13 SEP, SAT, 12:37AM
终于回到了家里
徐徐的晚风
细细的小雨
不是不是的倾盆大雨
这个星期
都是在所描述的情景度过
藉着与好友一同的晚餐加香烟
其实还过得挺充实的
回到这里
暂时没往常的聚会
嗯……
还有点儿闷呢
这些天的我
又开始想念不该想的B
不知为何
总觉得有点甜蜜
点炫这一点点的悲哀
加上无奈和迷惑
哈哈
好一个酸甜苦辣
心中的不舍
好像从没消失的样子
唉……感叹啊……
徐徐的晚风
细细的小雨
不是不是的倾盆大雨
这个星期
都是在所描述的情景度过
藉着与好友一同的晚餐加香烟
其实还过得挺充实的
回到这里
暂时没往常的聚会
嗯……
还有点儿闷呢
这些天的我
又开始想念不该想的B
不知为何
总觉得有点甜蜜
点炫这一点点的悲哀
加上无奈和迷惑
哈哈
好一个酸甜苦辣
心中的不舍
好像从没消失的样子
唉……感叹啊……
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
3 SEP, WED, 9:34PM
头疼又来了
感觉不到任何的东西
很想快点儿回家
可是混乱的思绪
更想在今天留些心得才回家
我的每一天
都是那么的纳闷却精彩
我不知道这种矛盾为何者
但寂寞不是假
温馨丰富有意思的日子也不虚
嗯
我是个十分矛盾的人
曾经讲过讨厌的人
心底有很喜欢
曾经讲过不再去的地方
再次光临却有不同的感想
人生啊
短短几十年
但却得花上一辈子的时间去探索
永远永远
都无法摸透清楚
今天的我
没做什么特别有意义的东西
但却跟以往的朋友聊了不少
头尽管地痛
还是继续了2个小时的话题
你
究竟
有没有
时时刻刻
想念着我呢
是不是还怀念
过往的点点滴滴
仰或已将我忘却啦
感觉不到任何的东西
很想快点儿回家
可是混乱的思绪
更想在今天留些心得才回家
我的每一天
都是那么的纳闷却精彩
我不知道这种矛盾为何者
但寂寞不是假
温馨丰富有意思的日子也不虚
嗯
我是个十分矛盾的人
曾经讲过讨厌的人
心底有很喜欢
曾经讲过不再去的地方
再次光临却有不同的感想
人生啊
短短几十年
但却得花上一辈子的时间去探索
永远永远
都无法摸透清楚
今天的我
没做什么特别有意义的东西
但却跟以往的朋友聊了不少
头尽管地痛
还是继续了2个小时的话题
你
究竟
有没有
时时刻刻
想念着我呢
是不是还怀念
过往的点点滴滴
仰或已将我忘却啦
Monday, September 1, 2008
1 SEP, MON, 5:10PM
无从说起
今天又是个很特别的一天
有个可爱的朋友
写了些，3分让我欢喜，7分让我愁的杰作
现在哭笑不得
我
有一个很要好的干弟
我从他2岁起就认识了
着他长大，至今18岁
他
形同我的至亲
我不曾骂过他
他也不曾怨过我
我们总是很好很好
可是
他从来不知道他的哥哥
不曾把他当作最信赖的人
原因嘛
不便讲
但却是第二信赖的人
我跟他的友好
好比亲兄弟
别人看了，会以为我们有问题吧
哈哈
很庆幸有他
他
永远不会发现这里吧
他
也永远不会知道我是多么珍惜他吧
我
有一个很要好的朋友
我们认识仅仅1个多月
但
我却看着他一路努力的奔跑过来
他
形同我的另一个脑
我们短短时期
就已经有了不少的过节
我们总是非常在乎双方
而
他也许从来不知道
他了解我最深
原因嘛
还是不便讲
但却是我家人以后
第二感情最好的知己
我跟他的友好
无法以言语来讲
别人看了，也许也会以为我们有问题吧
哈哈
很庆幸有他
他
知道这里
他
也会知道我的苦心吧
今天又是个很特别的一天
有个可爱的朋友
写了些，3分让我欢喜，7分让我愁的杰作
现在哭笑不得
我
有一个很要好的干弟
我从他2岁起就认识了
着他长大，至今18岁
他
形同我的至亲
我不曾骂过他
他也不曾怨过我
我们总是很好很好
可是
他从来不知道他的哥哥
不曾把他当作最信赖的人
原因嘛
不便讲
但却是第二信赖的人
我跟他的友好
好比亲兄弟
别人看了，会以为我们有问题吧
哈哈
很庆幸有他
他
永远不会发现这里吧
他
也永远不会知道我是多么珍惜他吧
我
有一个很要好的朋友
我们认识仅仅1个多月
但
我却看着他一路努力的奔跑过来
他
形同我的另一个脑
我们短短时期
就已经有了不少的过节
我们总是非常在乎双方
而
他也许从来不知道
他了解我最深
原因嘛
还是不便讲
但却是我家人以后
第二感情最好的知己
我跟他的友好
无法以言语来讲
别人看了，也许也会以为我们有问题吧
哈哈
很庆幸有他
他
知道这里
他
也会知道我的苦心吧
Friday, August 29, 2008
29 AUG, FRI, 6:41PM
心里吹着的风
外头吹着的狂风
衬托不了我的心情
嗯……好想暂时睡个觉
今天如往常般
不同的是整天没得上网
公司的网络有问题
也给我问题了
现在呆在稍暗的办公室里
心情也不怎么舒畅
肚子……还有一点饿哈
今天不知道要写什么
简单收场吧^^
Jaa ne!
外头吹着的狂风
衬托不了我的心情
嗯……好想暂时睡个觉
今天如往常般
不同的是整天没得上网
公司的网络有问题
也给我问题了
现在呆在稍暗的办公室里
心情也不怎么舒畅
肚子……还有一点饿哈
今天不知道要写什么
简单收场吧^^
Jaa ne!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
28 AUG, THU, 9:41PM
留一点心得
好得给于今天一个启示
自己的部落格
不知不觉间竟变成秘密收藏所
危险……极了……
但却意外地发觉自己在此处竟可畅谈
但也只有我
本部落格的作者很矛盾
想让人家知道作者的事情
但也不想然人家知道一些事情
这种自私
并非可以用言语来表达清楚
因为出口则非有言则差
恰恰好用来表达我所表达不了的意思吧
突然突然的
想起了一首过往精曲
让我欢喜让我忧
我不知道今天到底会造成怎样的烙印
但衷心的希望我仍然可以保有我自己
于这个部落格里头
今天已进入写我的生命的第一个年头又5个月
想起来真的不简单
写了将近280章的生活
写了将近280章的遭遇经历
不简单
很希望的就是
我可以不停不停地继续写下去
写到我歇下为止
死后的第二天
让我在人世间的部落格公出于世
让人家看看一个普通人
普通的生命
微不足道的冥想
淡淡的感动
我仍是我
今天我仍在世
这就是我的生命
好得给于今天一个启示
自己的部落格
不知不觉间竟变成秘密收藏所
危险……极了……
但却意外地发觉自己在此处竟可畅谈
但也只有我
本部落格的作者很矛盾
想让人家知道作者的事情
但也不想然人家知道一些事情
这种自私
并非可以用言语来表达清楚
因为出口则非有言则差
恰恰好用来表达我所表达不了的意思吧
突然突然的
想起了一首过往精曲
让我欢喜让我忧
我不知道今天到底会造成怎样的烙印
但衷心的希望我仍然可以保有我自己
于这个部落格里头
今天已进入写我的生命的第一个年头又5个月
想起来真的不简单
写了将近280章的生活
写了将近280章的遭遇经历
不简单
很希望的就是
我可以不停不停地继续写下去
写到我歇下为止
死后的第二天
让我在人世间的部落格公出于世
让人家看看一个普通人
普通的生命
微不足道的冥想
淡淡的感动
我仍是我
今天我仍在世
这就是我的生命
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
27 AUG, WED, 9:22PM
在公司里上班已有7个月的时间
期间
我以见证了3个人加入
也见证了4个人离开
目前的同事主要的有5位
Cheng
他是我的好朋友兼好同事
也是动我最多秘密的同事
是个不可多得的好朋友好同事
非常肯挨从不叹累
即讲义气也聪明机灵
讲到他真的很温馨
虽然与他一路来也有不愉快的
但他确是整个公司里我最信任的人
Eric
是个聪明无比的人
不爱管闲事但讲起话来却滔滔不绝
是个不错朋友但就有一点点的谨慎
其实是非常
最近他也不大爱理财我了
大概他认为我很危险吧
什么原因我不知道但至少我不愧于天
Ken
是个于4月初就加入的同事
他是个，还算几有趣的人
只是有一点点的十三点哈
又一次，他竟然在我的面前跟自己的老伴讲我公司的坏话
弄得我哭笑不得
有人说他是个伪装者
真与否我不知道
但一点是一定没错的
就是别对他讲太多的秘密
他随时会为了功劳而把任何人都出卖了
对我 也可能吧
Zool
是公司里的电脑软件工程师
这个家伙看得出非常瞧不起我
对于从别人口中听到的
让我对他的尊重全都没了
抹煞人家的功劳自己没收
我不懂
也许他也不清楚他自己做了什么吧
Fizah
是我非常值得信赖的人
只可惜她是马来人
虽然发觉她很喜欢跟我讲话
也发觉我大概是公司里她唯一可以畅谈的朋友
但语言障碍哈
有时真得不太敢跟她又太多的对话
很欣赏这个她
好朋友加上可靠
愿意跟她做一辈子的朋友
Sally
已走的同事
当初的敌人 却戏剧性地成为我的好朋友之一
但这个女人笨得可以
跟她讲话最好少讲秘密
秘密最后也变成不是秘密
她就是这样的一个人
一个讲义气的十三点
有时还做出好气又好笑的事情
我的第一份正当工作
遇到了这些人
他们让我了解到人的性格
也让我更加认识人
但我发觉我发觉我在他们之中并非最聪明的
我想Eric跟Cheng也许凌驾于我呵呵
发觉还真的很可爱呢
期间
我以见证了3个人加入
也见证了4个人离开
目前的同事主要的有5位
Cheng
他是我的好朋友兼好同事
也是动我最多秘密的同事
是个不可多得的好朋友好同事
非常肯挨从不叹累
即讲义气也聪明机灵
讲到他真的很温馨
虽然与他一路来也有不愉快的
但他确是整个公司里我最信任的人
Eric
是个聪明无比的人
不爱管闲事但讲起话来却滔滔不绝
是个不错朋友但就有一点点的谨慎
其实是非常
最近他也不大爱理财我了
大概他认为我很危险吧
什么原因我不知道但至少我不愧于天
Ken
是个于4月初就加入的同事
他是个，还算几有趣的人
只是有一点点的十三点哈
又一次，他竟然在我的面前跟自己的老伴讲我公司的坏话
弄得我哭笑不得
有人说他是个伪装者
真与否我不知道
但一点是一定没错的
就是别对他讲太多的秘密
他随时会为了功劳而把任何人都出卖了
对我 也可能吧
Zool
是公司里的电脑软件工程师
这个家伙看得出非常瞧不起我
对于从别人口中听到的
让我对他的尊重全都没了
抹煞人家的功劳自己没收
我不懂
也许他也不清楚他自己做了什么吧
Fizah
是我非常值得信赖的人
只可惜她是马来人
虽然发觉她很喜欢跟我讲话
也发觉我大概是公司里她唯一可以畅谈的朋友
但语言障碍哈
有时真得不太敢跟她又太多的对话
很欣赏这个她
好朋友加上可靠
愿意跟她做一辈子的朋友
Sally
已走的同事
当初的敌人 却戏剧性地成为我的好朋友之一
但这个女人笨得可以
跟她讲话最好少讲秘密
秘密最后也变成不是秘密
她就是这样的一个人
一个讲义气的十三点
有时还做出好气又好笑的事情
我的第一份正当工作
遇到了这些人
他们让我了解到人的性格
也让我更加认识人
但我发觉我发觉我在他们之中并非最聪明的
我想Eric跟Cheng也许凌驾于我呵呵
发觉还真的很可爱呢
Monday, August 25, 2008
25 AUG, MON, 8:07PM
又有机会回到这里了。
阔别了好久的部落格
抛弃了好久的Z
我回来了！
我的部落格虽然不很多人来
来的人也都是些三不识七的过客
可是却很安心
因为我的一路上
都有一个叫做K的人陪伴着我
虽然你在我生命中没很长的回忆
但却是我生命中真正认识我的那个人
很感谢你
真的
回到了工作岗位，以往的工作岗位
头痛竟然死灰复燃？
可恶。。
今天也做了不少有的没的事情
但生命的时钟，确实不停不停“嘀嘀嗒嗒”的响着
生命
源头在那里 尽头在哪里？
至叫人生死摸索
我的生命会如何呢？
今天的我又和昨天的我有什么不同呢？
我是谁？又会往哪里去？
前途茫茫
请相信吧康
只要不放弃，就不会没有未来！
阔别了好久的部落格
抛弃了好久的Z
我回来了！
我的部落格虽然不很多人来
来的人也都是些三不识七的过客
可是却很安心
因为我的一路上
都有一个叫做K的人陪伴着我
虽然你在我生命中没很长的回忆
但却是我生命中真正认识我的那个人
很感谢你
真的
回到了工作岗位，以往的工作岗位
头痛竟然死灰复燃？
可恶。。
今天也做了不少有的没的事情
但生命的时钟，确实不停不停“嘀嘀嗒嗒”的响着
生命
源头在那里 尽头在哪里？
至叫人生死摸索
我的生命会如何呢？
今天的我又和昨天的我有什么不同呢？
我是谁？又会往哪里去？
前途茫茫
请相信吧康
只要不放弃，就不会没有未来！
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
20 AUG, WED, 7:06PM
忙碌的早晨跟午后，搞得我头昏脑胀
头痛到是减轻了不少，如今只是轻微地隐隐作痛
期待着的事物永远不会实现
等待着的人将永远是等待
昨夜梦见了
梦见了温馨的一幕
似梦似醒的感觉
多想永远沉睡 永远陶醉
不再颓废 不在轮回
反反复复的思念
深深刻刻的失落感
恍恍惚惚的目光扫描
庆幸你不在视线范围内
头痛到是减轻了不少，如今只是轻微地隐隐作痛
期待着的事物永远不会实现
等待着的人将永远是等待
昨夜梦见了
梦见了温馨的一幕
似梦似醒的感觉
多想永远沉睡 永远陶醉
不再颓废 不在轮回
反反复复的思念
深深刻刻的失落感
恍恍惚惚的目光扫描
庆幸你不在视线范围内
Monday, August 18, 2008
18 AUG, MON, 9:30PM
今天难得回来家里，却搞得异常的忙，没法，明天确实是个很重要的一天--人生中的第一次演讲，毫无演习、毫无经验呵呵……
现在感觉不怎么紧张
可能还是今晚的缘故
而最近也常常忙得没有时间写作
却让时常来做客的Z失望了
失望期间
Z还受伤了
你还好吗？
过去的点滴邂逅了
并非伤心的重新烙印
而是释怀的迹象吧
面对着陈旧的思绪挑战
留着眼泪
虽然累了，也泪了
我相信，一切都会过往
我相信时间
我相信一切，都是最好的安排。
现在感觉不怎么紧张
可能还是今晚的缘故
而最近也常常忙得没有时间写作
却让时常来做客的Z失望了
失望期间
Z还受伤了
你还好吗？
过去的点滴邂逅了
并非伤心的重新烙印
而是释怀的迹象吧
面对着陈旧的思绪挑战
留着眼泪
虽然累了，也泪了
我相信，一切都会过往
我相信时间
我相信一切，都是最好的安排。
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
13 AUG, WED, 7:55PM
永远有多远……
永远当然无法衡量，你觉得能吗？
可是永远也会有完结的一天，当……
时间静止之时，
当世界不再转动，
当花草树木不再生长，
当春夏秋冬不再变化，
当天地万物化为虚有……
当生命化为灰烬……
永远当然无法衡量，你觉得能吗？
可是永远也会有完结的一天，当……
时间静止之时，
当世界不再转动，
当花草树木不再生长，
当春夏秋冬不再变化，
当天地万物化为虚有……
当生命化为灰烬……
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
12 AUG, TUE, 7:39PM
今天是生日的前夕，竟然！公司要花20元在我的身上，真是太好了！我想去吃日本餐嘻嘻~
今天也是累透的一天，我不明白，为什么除了累，还必须累……
嗯……现在不能谈太多，因为得开车前往Excapade Sushi了^^
---------------------〉待续
去了又回来了，但却用上了将近2个小时才返回公司。
有点郁闷，因为大家都在忙着各自的东西，而我就在“嘀嘀嗒嗒”的打字，无所事事哈……
生命中就很多选择，刚刚K就说了，L应该很伤心吧，当他收到了此讯息
会吗？
我没地选择，我承认，我是个很敏感的人，一点点的东西，我都会想很多
我……没有办法忘记L如何忽视我，如何玩弄我的心情
我并不知道L的用意是什，但他背叛了我的信任
我希望L可以快些释怀，我也希望L可以快点找到方向
Z，我很残酷呢。
今天也是累透的一天，我不明白，为什么除了累，还必须累……
嗯……现在不能谈太多，因为得开车前往Excapade Sushi了^^
---------------------〉待续
去了又回来了，但却用上了将近2个小时才返回公司。
有点郁闷，因为大家都在忙着各自的东西，而我就在“嘀嘀嗒嗒”的打字，无所事事哈……
生命中就很多选择，刚刚K就说了，L应该很伤心吧，当他收到了此讯息
会吗？
我没地选择，我承认，我是个很敏感的人，一点点的东西，我都会想很多
我……没有办法忘记L如何忽视我，如何玩弄我的心情
我并不知道L的用意是什，但他背叛了我的信任
我希望L可以快些释怀，我也希望L可以快点找到方向
Z，我很残酷呢。
Monday, August 11, 2008
一封信
你问起,我到底写了些什么给L。
L，自上个星期，我，想了一段时间。
我发觉我配不起你，所以我没有勇气再跟你在一起。
你和我都是来自不同世界的人；
你属于高贵，我则是在普通不过的凡人；
你很耀眼，我则属于暗淡……
很早，我就发觉了这点，但还是试图看看有没有可能……
最后，我醒了。
我们的情况要么作情人要么做陌生人，很遗憾，似乎做不成朋友……
看着你的讯息，心中好不舍，不愿失去你，但却觉得不可浪费你的时间。
对不起，我没资格做你理想的对象，因为我又太多的顾虑，我不可能可以满足你……
我感到对不起你，因为当时许下不少诺言。
不清楚你是否受到此讯息，但我很感激，我生命中有你的影子……dear。
就那样，希望L不要太伤心，因为我是不会伤心很久的。
L，自上个星期，我，想了一段时间。
我发觉我配不起你，所以我没有勇气再跟你在一起。
你和我都是来自不同世界的人；
你属于高贵，我则是在普通不过的凡人；
你很耀眼，我则属于暗淡……
很早，我就发觉了这点，但还是试图看看有没有可能……
最后，我醒了。
我们的情况要么作情人要么做陌生人，很遗憾，似乎做不成朋友……
看着你的讯息，心中好不舍，不愿失去你，但却觉得不可浪费你的时间。
对不起，我没资格做你理想的对象，因为我又太多的顾虑，我不可能可以满足你……
我感到对不起你，因为当时许下不少诺言。
不清楚你是否受到此讯息，但我很感激，我生命中有你的影子……dear。
就那样，希望L不要太伤心，因为我是不会伤心很久的。
11 AUG, MON, 7:01PM
今天是个绝对值得写部落格的一天，因为今天是他的生日。
已经好久了，都不敢在这里提起这个人，可能也渐渐地忘了他的样子
此人在笔者的生命中留下了很多的脚印，只可惜，这段情经不起时间的考验，信任的洗礼
想起来犹如昨日，历历在目，真的无法相信，今天，我们竟毫无话题了
是谁背叛了谁呢？都已不重要了。
伤害已经造成，烙印已经加深，应该已很难再回头了吧……
真的太怀念了，促使天天都在想这一个画面、同一段对话、同一片情景
哈……生命难衡，命运难测。
虽然经过了多少个风风雨雨的日子，今天的我依然感激，依然回味
哪怕到那个时候，今天都会是个无法忘却的日子
但也只能把心情写在已被遗忘的部落格
多希望可以在个阳光灿烂的下午，与你同杯共举
多渴望，还可以在夜深人静的夜里，同你闹得热烘烘
别了彬
已经好久了，都不敢在这里提起这个人，可能也渐渐地忘了他的样子
此人在笔者的生命中留下了很多的脚印，只可惜，这段情经不起时间的考验，信任的洗礼
想起来犹如昨日，历历在目，真的无法相信，今天，我们竟毫无话题了
是谁背叛了谁呢？都已不重要了。
伤害已经造成，烙印已经加深，应该已很难再回头了吧……
真的太怀念了，促使天天都在想这一个画面、同一段对话、同一片情景
哈……生命难衡，命运难测。
虽然经过了多少个风风雨雨的日子，今天的我依然感激，依然回味
哪怕到那个时候，今天都会是个无法忘却的日子
但也只能把心情写在已被遗忘的部落格
多希望可以在个阳光灿烂的下午，与你同杯共举
多渴望，还可以在夜深人静的夜里，同你闹得热烘烘
别了彬
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
6 AUG, WED, 9:10PM
Today I have no time to write blog again!!! Shit..... Busy like hell..
Z.. Drop something for me.
Z.. Drop something for me.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
我哭了
刚刚跟L聊天，我哭了。
跟L认识的这段日子，讲真的，确实没什么和愉快的经历。当然我哭不是为了L也不是为了什么人，我只是感叹，为什么做人那么辛苦。每个星期的忙碌、压力、无法表达的寂寞感当然加上掩饰住的不愉快，原来骨子里是那么脆弱的， 原来我还没忘记哭泣的感觉……原来外边坚强开朗的我，也会有留下泪水的一天，这次不是为了别人，而是这十年来第一次为自己掉了眼泪。
我，痛恨口角！！我痛恨怀疑不信任耍脾气耍性子！我痛恨欺骗痛恨不诚实！为什么做人就不可以做得爽快些吗？喜欢就讲啦！不开心不满意不是讲咯！耍什么把戏耍什么小伎俩！我是经不起任何人的小把戏的，因为我这个人就是真！
刚刚的哭意已消退。我想以后都不要联络L了，可能那样更快乐！不必有什么压力。
每个星期五都是我一星期中最期待的日子，因为可以回家可以看到父母，可以看到朋友。但如果回去时只是些不开心的情景、不悦心的声音，那我宁愿离家里远远的。
跟L认识的这段日子，讲真的，确实没什么和愉快的经历。当然我哭不是为了L也不是为了什么人，我只是感叹，为什么做人那么辛苦。每个星期的忙碌、压力、无法表达的寂寞感当然加上掩饰住的不愉快，原来骨子里是那么脆弱的， 原来我还没忘记哭泣的感觉……原来外边坚强开朗的我，也会有留下泪水的一天，这次不是为了别人，而是这十年来第一次为自己掉了眼泪。
我，痛恨口角！！我痛恨怀疑不信任耍脾气耍性子！我痛恨欺骗痛恨不诚实！为什么做人就不可以做得爽快些吗？喜欢就讲啦！不开心不满意不是讲咯！耍什么把戏耍什么小伎俩！我是经不起任何人的小把戏的，因为我这个人就是真！
刚刚的哭意已消退。我想以后都不要联络L了，可能那样更快乐！不必有什么压力。
每个星期五都是我一星期中最期待的日子，因为可以回家可以看到父母，可以看到朋友。但如果回去时只是些不开心的情景、不悦心的声音，那我宁愿离家里远远的。
4 AUG, MON, 7:02PM
It is really busy lately.. Now I am receiving 3 commands from 3 different people. Am I going to survive? Shit..
First is my real boss, my CEO. Ok.. I am suppose to listen to him and do what he says. Fine with this one, no complaint.
The second one is my vendor cum colleague. This one.. I have tonnes to complain to him. However I feel that he doesn't know I have my own products aside of his.. And he is ordering me like, I am serving him alone huh? OMG.. What has my boss told him Jesus! Its not that I cannot carry out those tasks, but what the heck are you asking me to do it for you man, just for you? Are you sure this is what I should do?
Third person is my local Project Manager cum colleague from other company (well they claim so). Sometimes I dunno what to do about this person. Am I doing my job? or I help people to do their job.. I have no idea.
First is my real boss, my CEO. Ok.. I am suppose to listen to him and do what he says. Fine with this one, no complaint.
The second one is my vendor cum colleague. This one.. I have tonnes to complain to him. However I feel that he doesn't know I have my own products aside of his.. And he is ordering me like, I am serving him alone huh? OMG.. What has my boss told him Jesus! Its not that I cannot carry out those tasks, but what the heck are you asking me to do it for you man, just for you? Are you sure this is what I should do?
Third person is my local Project Manager cum colleague from other company (well they claim so). Sometimes I dunno what to do about this person. Am I doing my job? or I help people to do their job.. I have no idea.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
31 JUL, THU, 5:36PM
My Colleague is finally a history in the office. A 'lil bit of sadness but ah well, I know I can easily forget about her. Not to mention its not like I won't see her again^^ "Everything Happens for a Reason" huh! Yes I always believe.
Today I have taken a few pictures with her. Many times in life, part is actually beautiful and funny. Try to look back how we met, how she treated (falsely) me, how she sabotaged me, how she talked to me, betrayed my trust and so and so many others. I think I have tonnes of memories with her. Oppsss! No false thinking please, this is PURELY friendship. And whats funny is that, she is never a good person in the office environment, but is a good friend, well FUN! Haha.
All the best to you, heartily and truly.
原来世界上真的没有永远的敌人，想当初我是多么的讨厌她，但今日，她的离开竟还牵起我一点点的落寞跟不舍（不多啦~）。想到这里就感觉到，原来人生还挺奇妙、满美好的！
Z啊，你是怎么看你的人生的呢？好想听听你对生命的憧憬、对生命的感想。
Today I have taken a few pictures with her. Many times in life, part is actually beautiful and funny. Try to look back how we met, how she treated (falsely) me, how she sabotaged me, how she talked to me, betrayed my trust and so and so many others. I think I have tonnes of memories with her. Oppsss! No false thinking please, this is PURELY friendship. And whats funny is that, she is never a good person in the office environment, but is a good friend, well FUN! Haha.
All the best to you, heartily and truly.
原来世界上真的没有永远的敌人，想当初我是多么的讨厌她，但今日，她的离开竟还牵起我一点点的落寞跟不舍（不多啦~）。想到这里就感觉到，原来人生还挺奇妙、满美好的！
Z啊，你是怎么看你的人生的呢？好想听听你对生命的憧憬、对生命的感想。
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
30 JUL, WED, 8:58PM
I bought 4 pieces of movie today,
1. Wanted
2. Batman Begins, as I have just watched "The Dark Knight", I want to get refreshed a bit.
3. A Thailand Ghost Story, OMG~
4. A Fighting Movie, Western..
I have bought a lot of movies since I came here, but not all I have watched. I think its just an interest to collect thing.. like when I bought a RM800 PSP....
Today, though it is a holiday, I spent the whole day in the office. I played a match of lost Dota, and chatted for whole day. I am very bad ler hehe..
Well I have to go back as there is a colleague waiting for me still. I shall continue tomorrow. I hope everything would be fine tomorrow.
1. Wanted
2. Batman Begins, as I have just watched "The Dark Knight", I want to get refreshed a bit.
3. A Thailand Ghost Story, OMG~
4. A Fighting Movie, Western..
I have bought a lot of movies since I came here, but not all I have watched. I think its just an interest to collect thing.. like when I bought a RM800 PSP....
Today, though it is a holiday, I spent the whole day in the office. I played a match of lost Dota, and chatted for whole day. I am very bad ler hehe..
Well I have to go back as there is a colleague waiting for me still. I shall continue tomorrow. I hope everything would be fine tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
29 JUL, TUE, 6:52PM
有点好奇,怎么每天都感觉这么累的呢?也有点要吐的感觉,可能是中午吃的午餐的关系吧……
其实最近都有点兴奋去写部落格，因为都会有很多不同名字的朋友为我留言，写起来也逐渐变得又交流的性质。而关于今天，也和往常没什么差，还是头疼了。我的同事就快走人了，明天是当地的假期，也就是说后天就是她的最后一天，当然，会有淀依依不舍的感觉，纵使我在她面前带着的面具从来不曾拆下，而她也从来不知道其实我讲了她不少坏话（她讲我更多顺便说一声）。
她是个怎样的女人吗？我要以最短且最充分的文字形容她：
可以做好朋友绝对不能做同事
完全不能守秘密（包括自己的秘密）
霸道淘气蛮不讲理但带有点可爱
把自己的缺点讲成别人的缺点
没有羞耻心没有道德但表现得很体面
讲真的一句，整个公司的人都怕了她，都带着面具跟她做朋友，但她从来没察觉，我觉得她真的很可怜，不这么认为吗？
如今她即将走人，老实说一句，我很期待没她的日子，可是人总会担心改变。
没她的日子会有所不同吗？一切的次序会改变吗？哈……我被她影响也还蛮多的呢。
其实最近都有点兴奋去写部落格，因为都会有很多不同名字的朋友为我留言，写起来也逐渐变得又交流的性质。而关于今天，也和往常没什么差，还是头疼了。我的同事就快走人了，明天是当地的假期，也就是说后天就是她的最后一天，当然，会有淀依依不舍的感觉，纵使我在她面前带着的面具从来不曾拆下，而她也从来不知道其实我讲了她不少坏话（她讲我更多顺便说一声）。
她是个怎样的女人吗？我要以最短且最充分的文字形容她：
可以做好朋友绝对不能做同事
完全不能守秘密（包括自己的秘密）
霸道淘气蛮不讲理但带有点可爱
把自己的缺点讲成别人的缺点
没有羞耻心没有道德但表现得很体面
讲真的一句，整个公司的人都怕了她，都带着面具跟她做朋友，但她从来没察觉，我觉得她真的很可怜，不这么认为吗？
如今她即将走人，老实说一句，我很期待没她的日子，可是人总会担心改变。
没她的日子会有所不同吗？一切的次序会改变吗？哈……我被她影响也还蛮多的呢。
Monday, July 28, 2008
一段感情，不论是友情爱情亲情，如果存在着不信任和不坦诚，这段情将会有终结的一天
I accidentally bumped into one of the articles from the net. This was told by a man, who fell to the very ground, clutching his shaky fists, pushing so hard to stand up. And eventually... Well I know not what is happening on him yet, because it seems to me that, the story is not an end. Do read it, if you can read chinese.
感情是有一个期限的。
每段感情，都是必须用心栽培，用心灌溉的，因为感情这一回事，不是升温，就是降温，你相信吗？
其实跟你相处的日子,是我这一生中最快乐的时刻，而你也曾经一时让我觉得我们彼此当对方为最好的朋友。
感情，不论是友情亲情爱情，都会有磨擦。我不知道你到底有没有察觉，其实我们相处中，真的有很多的磨擦。当然，现在想想，这可能真的是我多心而造成的吧。
和你的交情，曾经是我最重视的一段情，不论我们的交情带有怎样的元素，我依然非常珍惜。
我曾经为了这段交情讨好你，拉进彼此的关系，因为我深信一段坚毅的友情是需要双方的努力的，也许我太贪心了吧，也许我多心了，也许是我一厢情愿，也许是我注入了不必要的感情元素，也许我真的是这段感情失败的原因。
也没问题啦。今天，我们做不了好朋友，做普通的活动友也还不差吧:)
还记得，当初的我们是多么的无所不聊，我们一见面就是说不完的话题，听不尽的欢笑。如今啊，我们已没有以往的默契了，我看到你，也有了尴尬的感觉，因为我已经不知道我该以什么样的表情面对你。纵使你笑颜面对我，最多，我也只能回你一个腼腆的笑容。很深切的体会到，原来失去的默契就是这么一回事。
那一天当我们与彼此再不讲话的时候，其实我已预感到，也许那就是我们的最后一天。讲真的，我非常地伤心，我非常地在意，每天的5个小时空当时间，我都用来想我们之间的点点滴滴，我。。想跟人家讲却欲言又止，因为这毕竟不是件容易开得了口的话题。
好沮丧的日子里，我过着行尸走肉的生活，我变得不爱跟人家讲话，其余的时间都是看着无聊的电脑荧幕，有时听听歌，有时找找你的资料，绝大部分我都用来想我们之间的事，等待着不可能捎来的讯息，我。。每天开始写起了部落格，但怎么写都是悲观的文字，有时想到感触时，也哭不出来，更没有任何人跟我谈心事。渐渐地，我开始放弃这段感情了，原因不外是我已经绝望了。
有时我会想，你可曾经当过我是你的“最好的朋友”吗？或者是“好朋友”，还是只是“普通朋友”？我完全不清楚自己在你的心里的位置，这也可能是我对这段感情绝望的原因吧。但我今天可以跟你讲，那些日子，我一直都把你当成我生命中“唯一最好的朋友”，也许你已忘记了吧，我还曾经告诉过你。
今天，我也要很诚实，以及很冒昧地跟你讲一句，今天的你已不是我曾经最珍惜的朋友了。
对不起。。我们仍然是朋友，只是今天的我们少了那么“一点点”的默契、“一点点”的幽默、“一点点”的珍惜。
我觉得，我们可能再没有机会作好朋友了吧，因为今天的我在你面前，已经毫无尊严，可能你也不会清楚为什么我会没尊严，也许是我太敏感。
不管如何，这一切还是得看缘份。有缘无份或无缘有份，都不可能把我们的距离拉进的，随缘吧:)
以便我们以后再没有这样的机会讲这些话题，我给你一个忠告：“一段感情，不论是友情爱情亲情，如果存在着不信任和不坦诚，这段情将会有终结的一天。”
衷心的祝福你。
感情是有一个期限的。
每段感情，都是必须用心栽培，用心灌溉的，因为感情这一回事，不是升温，就是降温，你相信吗？
其实跟你相处的日子,是我这一生中最快乐的时刻，而你也曾经一时让我觉得我们彼此当对方为最好的朋友。
感情，不论是友情亲情爱情，都会有磨擦。我不知道你到底有没有察觉，其实我们相处中，真的有很多的磨擦。当然，现在想想，这可能真的是我多心而造成的吧。
和你的交情，曾经是我最重视的一段情，不论我们的交情带有怎样的元素，我依然非常珍惜。
我曾经为了这段交情讨好你，拉进彼此的关系，因为我深信一段坚毅的友情是需要双方的努力的，也许我太贪心了吧，也许我多心了，也许是我一厢情愿，也许是我注入了不必要的感情元素，也许我真的是这段感情失败的原因。
也没问题啦。今天，我们做不了好朋友，做普通的活动友也还不差吧:)
还记得，当初的我们是多么的无所不聊，我们一见面就是说不完的话题，听不尽的欢笑。如今啊，我们已没有以往的默契了，我看到你，也有了尴尬的感觉，因为我已经不知道我该以什么样的表情面对你。纵使你笑颜面对我，最多，我也只能回你一个腼腆的笑容。很深切的体会到，原来失去的默契就是这么一回事。
那一天当我们与彼此再不讲话的时候，其实我已预感到，也许那就是我们的最后一天。讲真的，我非常地伤心，我非常地在意，每天的5个小时空当时间，我都用来想我们之间的点点滴滴，我。。想跟人家讲却欲言又止，因为这毕竟不是件容易开得了口的话题。
好沮丧的日子里，我过着行尸走肉的生活，我变得不爱跟人家讲话，其余的时间都是看着无聊的电脑荧幕，有时听听歌，有时找找你的资料，绝大部分我都用来想我们之间的事，等待着不可能捎来的讯息，我。。每天开始写起了部落格，但怎么写都是悲观的文字，有时想到感触时，也哭不出来，更没有任何人跟我谈心事。渐渐地，我开始放弃这段感情了，原因不外是我已经绝望了。
有时我会想，你可曾经当过我是你的“最好的朋友”吗？或者是“好朋友”，还是只是“普通朋友”？我完全不清楚自己在你的心里的位置，这也可能是我对这段感情绝望的原因吧。但我今天可以跟你讲，那些日子，我一直都把你当成我生命中“唯一最好的朋友”，也许你已忘记了吧，我还曾经告诉过你。
今天，我也要很诚实，以及很冒昧地跟你讲一句，今天的你已不是我曾经最珍惜的朋友了。
对不起。。我们仍然是朋友，只是今天的我们少了那么“一点点”的默契、“一点点”的幽默、“一点点”的珍惜。
我觉得，我们可能再没有机会作好朋友了吧，因为今天的我在你面前，已经毫无尊严，可能你也不会清楚为什么我会没尊严，也许是我太敏感。
不管如何，这一切还是得看缘份。有缘无份或无缘有份，都不可能把我们的距离拉进的，随缘吧:)
以便我们以后再没有这样的机会讲这些话题，我给你一个忠告：“一段感情，不论是友情爱情亲情，如果存在着不信任和不坦诚，这段情将会有终结的一天。”
衷心的祝福你。
28 JUL, MON, 6:20PM
今天又头痛了整天。
刚刚下午跟Z聊了一会，他给了我一段我之前讲过的话，讲真的，我完全无头绪我当初想着什么东西。由于很好奇，我回到了那个帖读了一读，还是没头绪，发觉原来，人类是很善变的生命体呢。
除了读那一个帖外，我也读了些其他的，愕然发现我还曾经有这样与那样的想法，先期来还真的很有趣儿，另外也觉得莫名的感动。
原来我曾经是那样的人，我。。有变吗？
很不想承认自己改变过因为我一直以来都把持着“我的思想由始至终都不会改变“的观念，但事实证明了“这是错误的”。
今年我25啦，明年26，10年后的今天我又会怎么想人生，20年后呢？
我栽在自己思想，不明白，“为什么“在我的生命中会那么频率地出现。
刚刚下午跟Z聊了一会，他给了我一段我之前讲过的话，讲真的，我完全无头绪我当初想着什么东西。由于很好奇，我回到了那个帖读了一读，还是没头绪，发觉原来，人类是很善变的生命体呢。
除了读那一个帖外，我也读了些其他的，愕然发现我还曾经有这样与那样的想法，先期来还真的很有趣儿，另外也觉得莫名的感动。
原来我曾经是那样的人，我。。有变吗？
很不想承认自己改变过因为我一直以来都把持着“我的思想由始至终都不会改变“的观念，但事实证明了“这是错误的”。
今年我25啦，明年26，10年后的今天我又会怎么想人生，20年后呢？
我栽在自己思想，不明白，“为什么“在我的生命中会那么频率地出现。
Sunday, July 27, 2008
27 JUL, SUN, 2:24AM
Went to a movie at 9 just now. The Dark Knight. What to say about this movie hmm~~ A 100% from me^^ I mean it. I don't know how you would see it to be, for me it is invincible!
After the movie K and I went to drink. We had a 2 hours chat. So lot of things we chat on, and I also gained a lot from the chat. I hope those would be important stuff for my growth in the future. I started to realise something too, but I cannot put them in words yet. Maybe Some other time huh?
I drank like 2 can of beer just now, still feeling a bit dizzy now. Well its good for sleep in fact. Till then, I will drop something in my blog again about what I have gained today.
Jaa Mata!
After the movie K and I went to drink. We had a 2 hours chat. So lot of things we chat on, and I also gained a lot from the chat. I hope those would be important stuff for my growth in the future. I started to realise something too, but I cannot put them in words yet. Maybe Some other time huh?
I drank like 2 can of beer just now, still feeling a bit dizzy now. Well its good for sleep in fact. Till then, I will drop something in my blog again about what I have gained today.
Jaa Mata!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
26 JUL, SAT, 9:46AM
Last night wasn't able to write anything as my sister was using my laptop and didn't wanna go away.. Once in a while still ok. I was also tired yesterday truly, after driving for 2 and a half hours back.
Lately I am a bit frustrated. The reasons are the happenings in the office, which I was very not happy about. Somehow I notice pushing responsibility is everybody's nature, including me. But well of course, if you are able to push it my way, please do so.
Been working here for half a year, exactly half a year! Closed one sales and then the next is coming, did anyone ever appreciate that? Sucks. Well I don't need your appreciation, but at least for certain deal, please don't snatch the credit away from me, which I will feel very disappointed.
These days have been unhappy. But well, things happened for good, eventually the seminar my stupid colleague was trying to organise was lastly not a success (As if I want this seminar.. NO WAY! I hate this kinda thing as it will bring you troubles only!) Whilst, what have I achieved in real life, in my world of feeling hmm..
Failure failure.
Too negative me my friend. Sorry, if you don't feel like reading it there is no problem. This is one only way that I release my pressure, by being rude and frank and naked.
Jaa, mata!
Lately I am a bit frustrated. The reasons are the happenings in the office, which I was very not happy about. Somehow I notice pushing responsibility is everybody's nature, including me. But well of course, if you are able to push it my way, please do so.
Been working here for half a year, exactly half a year! Closed one sales and then the next is coming, did anyone ever appreciate that? Sucks. Well I don't need your appreciation, but at least for certain deal, please don't snatch the credit away from me, which I will feel very disappointed.
These days have been unhappy. But well, things happened for good, eventually the seminar my stupid colleague was trying to organise was lastly not a success (As if I want this seminar.. NO WAY! I hate this kinda thing as it will bring you troubles only!) Whilst, what have I achieved in real life, in my world of feeling hmm..
Failure failure.
Too negative me my friend. Sorry, if you don't feel like reading it there is no problem. This is one only way that I release my pressure, by being rude and frank and naked.
Jaa, mata!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
24 JUL, THU, 6:34PM
my headache strikes again, not to mention when the next door turn on the music like crazy OMG! It hurts.. What to do now?
Today I am feeling a bit lost, lost in a sense that, I don't have any idea what to write. I just know that I am very tired in the eyes, pain in the head and dry in the mouth.
Perhaps I have to sum up the things I have done today at least.
In the morning, after preparing some contact list to my colleague, I went out to deliver invitation letter. It is about next Tuesday's seminar on the Educational Management System. For me, this seminar is a total bullshit.
At noon, we had lunch at the next door Chinese Restaurant. I ordered砂锅面which cost me around 4 Dollar and just now (5 minutes ago) I spent another 4 Dollar 50 cent for dinner:( Awww... That makes 8 Dollar 50 cent and it exceeds my budget of the day.
Well talking back to what had happened today, in the afternoon I went to see a client nearby and it will be a promising deal, though of course, it wouldn't be closed that fast.
Ah... finally talking with L:)
I have to go already see ya.
Today I am feeling a bit lost, lost in a sense that, I don't have any idea what to write. I just know that I am very tired in the eyes, pain in the head and dry in the mouth.
Perhaps I have to sum up the things I have done today at least.
In the morning, after preparing some contact list to my colleague, I went out to deliver invitation letter. It is about next Tuesday's seminar on the Educational Management System. For me, this seminar is a total bullshit.
At noon, we had lunch at the next door Chinese Restaurant. I ordered砂锅面which cost me around 4 Dollar and just now (5 minutes ago) I spent another 4 Dollar 50 cent for dinner:( Awww... That makes 8 Dollar 50 cent and it exceeds my budget of the day.
Well talking back to what had happened today, in the afternoon I went to see a client nearby and it will be a promising deal, though of course, it wouldn't be closed that fast.
Ah... finally talking with L:)
I have to go already see ya.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
23 JUL, WED, 9:03PM
I am having headache these few days... My vision now is, blur and teary. My face is burning hot now and my head feels like somebody pressing onto it, pulse by pulse.. This has been many days.. I think it is because I work too much with computer, staring too much to the screen (though it is a LCD).
Just had Baby Kailan Beancurd Rice, which was nice and cost me 4 Dollar 50 cent. Today's dinner I was not alone, I have a colleague together with me. He will be here till this Friday. Well, I don't really like people to come here as I will have to sacrifice a lot of thing, utmost all is my sleep. But **sigh** no choice when you are a staff.
Advice of the day, "Don't be a staff"
I still have no idea what time would I stay in the office till, my colleague is still doing some of the job. Hopefully not too late as, later midnight at 12, I have to actually fetch him out to meet girl:( **cheh** Then? Haha.. Which mean tomorrow I will have story to listen^^
It is 9:11PM and I am still missing someone.. I guess it is over as that is what your PM is for today?
Ja.. Mata.
Just had Baby Kailan Beancurd Rice, which was nice and cost me 4 Dollar 50 cent. Today's dinner I was not alone, I have a colleague together with me. He will be here till this Friday. Well, I don't really like people to come here as I will have to sacrifice a lot of thing, utmost all is my sleep. But **sigh** no choice when you are a staff.
Advice of the day, "Don't be a staff"
I still have no idea what time would I stay in the office till, my colleague is still doing some of the job. Hopefully not too late as, later midnight at 12, I have to actually fetch him out to meet girl:( **cheh** Then? Haha.. Which mean tomorrow I will have story to listen^^
It is 9:11PM and I am still missing someone.. I guess it is over as that is what your PM is for today?
Ja.. Mata.
23 JUL, WED, 6:40PM
"I can't help but keep staring into the sky, because I have lost my guts."
*sigh*
These days I really have to thank several persons, which appear in my life without any further notice.
Firstly, it would be L. Though, we are no longer contacting with each other, but, thanks, for giving me some of the sweet memories L^^ I really appreciate it so much, though we might not even have the chance to meet up again:)
Secondly, its Z. Thank you for everything you have spared to me. Thanks for listening to me, thanks for giving me the opportunity to go out with you. Thanks for accepting me as who I am haha XD It's really good to have a friend like you in my life. First!
Thirdly, I have to thank my good buddy Alan, who is the most caring friend I have in life. This is a role model of a good friend, definitely. When you are down, he would never leave you. He might not even know the reason, but he is always there to accompany you watching dull movies, playing boring games and spending meaningless nights. You are always a friend I would sacrifice my own self for ^^
Fourthly, it would be B. B, thanks for everything-- laughter, sadness, madness and all others. You are one of the most important passer-by in my life. Hopefully with your shadow, I can grow.
Mom and dad, sisters and brothers, you are my treasure of life. I would give my life for you all, because I know that I am most blessed in the world because of you.
Ending today's gratitude with a smile. Don't worry, though I sound so but its not like I am going to kill myself foolish. I don't suicide ok!
*sigh*
These days I really have to thank several persons, which appear in my life without any further notice.
Firstly, it would be L. Though, we are no longer contacting with each other, but, thanks, for giving me some of the sweet memories L^^ I really appreciate it so much, though we might not even have the chance to meet up again:)
Secondly, its Z. Thank you for everything you have spared to me. Thanks for listening to me, thanks for giving me the opportunity to go out with you. Thanks for accepting me as who I am haha XD It's really good to have a friend like you in my life. First!
Thirdly, I have to thank my good buddy Alan, who is the most caring friend I have in life. This is a role model of a good friend, definitely. When you are down, he would never leave you. He might not even know the reason, but he is always there to accompany you watching dull movies, playing boring games and spending meaningless nights. You are always a friend I would sacrifice my own self for ^^
Fourthly, it would be B. B, thanks for everything-- laughter, sadness, madness and all others. You are one of the most important passer-by in my life. Hopefully with your shadow, I can grow.
Mom and dad, sisters and brothers, you are my treasure of life. I would give my life for you all, because I know that I am most blessed in the world because of you.
Ending today's gratitude with a smile. Don't worry, though I sound so but its not like I am going to kill myself foolish. I don't suicide ok!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
22 JUL,TUE, 7:42PM
How do you see me?
Just now after work, and after everyone left the office, my colleague Cheng was left with me. All of a sudden he threw me a question,
"Do you still in contact with Chua?"
Well, Chua WAS one of the senior developer here. She joined for 3-4 months and then left. The reason? Well then, listen to the story.
Talking about her will make me very fuss, because frankly speaking, this is one very very irritating and my so-called "bad" person I have ever met. She came in and worked after 1 month I joined this company. We both are (she WAS) coming from the same hometown and work in foreign land together. Well, I am the kinda person who, will always try to make friend with people. Maybe people will call me flirty and sarcastic, but this is me! I do love to make people happy.
Of course towards her, I am like treating others, I smiled to her, I exposed myself "nakedly" to her (meaning to say that I was not forming myself a barrier when I was together with her). I never tend to be cautious when I deal with defenseless people (and this is what I thought), because she is the weak type of people, and she doesn't look at all beautiful. I confess! I treated her very nice!!
But less than I know that, she is actually a very repulsive and defensive type of person. Of course, I try to understand people-- your career, your family, your interest and so. I don't know how many times I had been thrown the same reply (which I initially thought she was just kidding),
"Hey, apparently we are not that close okay."
Throughout the months I had been with her, I had heard this endless times. Well NO PROBLEM!! I know she might be the repulsive type so I just let her be as she was comfortable with.
Another scenario, I joked. I joke to everybody and I joked to her of course. There was once I said,
"Chua is a very experienced programmer." which I truly meant it. She just threw me a line,
"Don't try to sabotage me."
Well again, when Chua was not even here yet, I used to stay in the office till late night to surf. When Chua was here, I had to consider her situation. So normally after around 5:30 or 6, I would initiate her with,
"Chua, wait me for another 10 minutes can?"
Her reply,
"Can you please stop using such excuses to sound like it is ME, who is actually the reason that you have to go back okay!"
Fine!!! I never said it EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Another time, when I went out for prospects, and only returned to office at around 6:30PM, after entering the office, "someone"'s face was SO black!! And i ignored, as we were not in a good term anymore. When the 3rd person (aside of us) went out to take a cigarette, this was what she said,
"MY STOMACH IS HURTING LIKE HELL (BECAUSE OF YOU, definitely she meant this, because this line was shot at me!)"
And I just told her, i didn't bring out the key, it was always on my table.
"How should I know that?"
HAHAHAHA!! Good development!! I raised my voice and we started to argue for like few lines, then she kept quiet. Of course, I was a victor in the argument. Who does she think she is to be in position to quarrel with me? I don't quarrel easily with people, but when I have my point, you can never win me.
*sigh*
Pathetic woman. I tell you, from the day you started to show me rudeness, I had never respected you, for whatever reason, or whatever skills you are holding. You are nothing for me but a pathetic soul I met in my journey of life!! GO ON!! Go and lead your life the way you want, I can only tell you one thing,
"Being not beautiful is the wrong of no one, and I won't give a damn insult to you, BUT to be UGLY in your heart, you could NEVER get my respect!"
So Cheng, do you still doubt why I "dislike" her that much? Imagine if you WERE me!! Where would you stand? How would you feel? What will you do!
Really angry when, someone blows the red charcoal... -.-"
Just now after work, and after everyone left the office, my colleague Cheng was left with me. All of a sudden he threw me a question,
"Do you still in contact with Chua?"
Well, Chua WAS one of the senior developer here. She joined for 3-4 months and then left. The reason? Well then, listen to the story.
Talking about her will make me very fuss, because frankly speaking, this is one very very irritating and my so-called "bad" person I have ever met. She came in and worked after 1 month I joined this company. We both are (she WAS) coming from the same hometown and work in foreign land together. Well, I am the kinda person who, will always try to make friend with people. Maybe people will call me flirty and sarcastic, but this is me! I do love to make people happy.
Of course towards her, I am like treating others, I smiled to her, I exposed myself "nakedly" to her (meaning to say that I was not forming myself a barrier when I was together with her). I never tend to be cautious when I deal with defenseless people (and this is what I thought), because she is the weak type of people, and she doesn't look at all beautiful. I confess! I treated her very nice!!
But less than I know that, she is actually a very repulsive and defensive type of person. Of course, I try to understand people-- your career, your family, your interest and so. I don't know how many times I had been thrown the same reply (which I initially thought she was just kidding),
"Hey, apparently we are not that close okay."
Throughout the months I had been with her, I had heard this endless times. Well NO PROBLEM!! I know she might be the repulsive type so I just let her be as she was comfortable with.
Another scenario, I joked. I joke to everybody and I joked to her of course. There was once I said,
"Chua is a very experienced programmer." which I truly meant it. She just threw me a line,
"Don't try to sabotage me."
Well again, when Chua was not even here yet, I used to stay in the office till late night to surf. When Chua was here, I had to consider her situation. So normally after around 5:30 or 6, I would initiate her with,
"Chua, wait me for another 10 minutes can?"
Her reply,
"Can you please stop using such excuses to sound like it is ME, who is actually the reason that you have to go back okay!"
Fine!!! I never said it EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Another time, when I went out for prospects, and only returned to office at around 6:30PM, after entering the office, "someone"'s face was SO black!! And i ignored, as we were not in a good term anymore. When the 3rd person (aside of us) went out to take a cigarette, this was what she said,
"MY STOMACH IS HURTING LIKE HELL (BECAUSE OF YOU, definitely she meant this, because this line was shot at me!)"
And I just told her, i didn't bring out the key, it was always on my table.
"How should I know that?"
HAHAHAHA!! Good development!! I raised my voice and we started to argue for like few lines, then she kept quiet. Of course, I was a victor in the argument. Who does she think she is to be in position to quarrel with me? I don't quarrel easily with people, but when I have my point, you can never win me.
*sigh*
Pathetic woman. I tell you, from the day you started to show me rudeness, I had never respected you, for whatever reason, or whatever skills you are holding. You are nothing for me but a pathetic soul I met in my journey of life!! GO ON!! Go and lead your life the way you want, I can only tell you one thing,
"Being not beautiful is the wrong of no one, and I won't give a damn insult to you, BUT to be UGLY in your heart, you could NEVER get my respect!"
So Cheng, do you still doubt why I "dislike" her that much? Imagine if you WERE me!! Where would you stand? How would you feel? What will you do!
Really angry when, someone blows the red charcoal... -.-"
Monday, July 21, 2008
21 JUL, MON, 7:51PM
Another week in foreign land. I guess I have started to accept the fact that, I might be leading such life for quite some time. Actually I don't mind to be here all by myself.. as long as I am getting a 'lil bit of care from.. Well somebody.
Have been busy for a whole day, but nothing I got in return. Later I might need to visit the nearby supermarket to buy some grocery for the household. I wonder which supermarket to go.
I am going to turn 25 in 22 days, and I am still "zero" in a lot of thing.
Money saving- zero
Love- zero
Travel- zero
Success- zero
All "zeros"... Which give you a lot of pressure. Mom is starting to urge me to nail gf, and of course, I am so reluctant to follow what she says. Why should I follow your order beloved mom.
I have nothing to leave for today. I feel that everyday after working hours, I would be very negative, very pessimistic. For people I am an optimist while deep inside me, only I know myself.
Who is going to offer the help to understand me? I don't understand what I want in life.
Have been busy for a whole day, but nothing I got in return. Later I might need to visit the nearby supermarket to buy some grocery for the household. I wonder which supermarket to go.
I am going to turn 25 in 22 days, and I am still "zero" in a lot of thing.
Money saving- zero
Love- zero
Travel- zero
Success- zero
All "zeros"... Which give you a lot of pressure. Mom is starting to urge me to nail gf, and of course, I am so reluctant to follow what she says. Why should I follow your order beloved mom.
I have nothing to leave for today. I feel that everyday after working hours, I would be very negative, very pessimistic. For people I am an optimist while deep inside me, only I know myself.
Who is going to offer the help to understand me? I don't understand what I want in life.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
20 JUL, SUN, 5:17PM
真地感到很失魂落魄，没什么干劲，是为了什么事，也只有自己最清楚。
为什么我非得承受这一切呢？我知道！如果不放手这一段情，很难可以接受另一段，可是方法我可是了不少种类，可是……
刚刚根一位好友聚会，打了3到4个小时的游戏，得来的？空空如也。我也不知道是为了什么而答应赴约会去了，也许是不想看着电脑荧幕等待着某人吧。
已经烦恼了整整一年了，我想，是不是已该是时候来个彻彻底底的了断呢？
凡人毕竟得承受烦恼，但偏爱犯践。
为什么我非得承受这一切呢？我知道！如果不放手这一段情，很难可以接受另一段，可是方法我可是了不少种类，可是……
刚刚根一位好友聚会，打了3到4个小时的游戏，得来的？空空如也。我也不知道是为了什么而答应赴约会去了，也许是不想看着电脑荧幕等待着某人吧。
已经烦恼了整整一年了，我想，是不是已该是时候来个彻彻底底的了断呢？
凡人毕竟得承受烦恼，但偏爱犯践。
Saturday, July 19, 2008
19 JUL, SAT, 5:47PM
This morning I woke up at 8, after bathing and preparing for about half and hour, I went out with my family for breakfast. Then later I stayed in the office till 1PM, skipping the lunch due to the late breakfast.
But of course, something happened today, which I did not expect it to come. I am being asked to go for badminton.. And of course, I conformed with it. I am a bit worried.. for some reasons **sigh**
Whether it is a good thing to happen or reversely, I will see the development tonight. I will meet up with Z after the badminton I hope. And I also hope that I won't stay till too late as my sister just came back from KL tonight^^ No idea if you will read this part in time though **hehe**
Just went to fetch my sister from the airport, she is as beautiful as ever and very nice still **sweet** I still remember that she told me she loves me the most among all the siblings.. Its nostalgic because, I think I am no longer her favourite. No problem lar, I wish her all the best, shes still my beloved sister.
But of course, something happened today, which I did not expect it to come. I am being asked to go for badminton.. And of course, I conformed with it. I am a bit worried.. for some reasons **sigh**
Whether it is a good thing to happen or reversely, I will see the development tonight. I will meet up with Z after the badminton I hope. And I also hope that I won't stay till too late as my sister just came back from KL tonight^^ No idea if you will read this part in time though **hehe**
Just went to fetch my sister from the airport, she is as beautiful as ever and very nice still **sweet** I still remember that she told me she loves me the most among all the siblings.. Its nostalgic because, I think I am no longer her favourite. No problem lar, I wish her all the best, shes still my beloved sister.
19 JUL, SAT, 12:39AM
Today I know you are not around, and that's why I switched on the computer earlier than I used to be. I don't want you to notice my signing on to MSN, because I don't want to have a awkward situation, because I know, it is awkward for both of us, even to see each other online.
Today I worked whole day, just for one proposal. After finished working at 5:30, I had a match of Dota with friend, before I started to depart to Miri at 6:40. And I reached Miri at 8:30. Stopping by around Pelita Commercial Centre, took a cigarette and then quietly drove home. And this is my day. Ha..
Well then, what else to be expected Hmmmmm~~~ thinking..
Today I worked whole day, just for one proposal. After finished working at 5:30, I had a match of Dota with friend, before I started to depart to Miri at 6:40. And I reached Miri at 8:30. Stopping by around Pelita Commercial Centre, took a cigarette and then quietly drove home. And this is my day. Ha..
Well then, what else to be expected Hmmmmm~~~ thinking..
Thursday, July 17, 2008
17 JUL, THU, 9:42PM
Today is a memorable day to jot down some events in my life:)
Yes of course it is a good news! I got a sales yayyyy!!!!!!!! Hehe:) Feel so good this afternoon. But anyway the Purchase Order is not yet received, so there might still be changes. Hopefully won't, of course:)
But after the meeting with customers, it is one of the most headache day for me. I have to spend like 2 hours? I guess, to amend the proposal. Here and there, it might seem simple but you would never know all these small little tiny things have taken me how much time and dying-cells... **sigh** but still **happy**
HAHA..
Well then, I have to put a full stop here. I have been working for the whole day, driving like crazy to the so-far-away customer's premise just for a one and a fifteen minutes talk but well, I am still very excited... But coming to calculate the commission, lol, well its quite a lot!!! Approximately 250 Dollar for a 50k deal XD
What do you say about it??
Till then, jaa mata!!
Yes of course it is a good news! I got a sales yayyyy!!!!!!!! Hehe:) Feel so good this afternoon. But anyway the Purchase Order is not yet received, so there might still be changes. Hopefully won't, of course:)
But after the meeting with customers, it is one of the most headache day for me. I have to spend like 2 hours? I guess, to amend the proposal. Here and there, it might seem simple but you would never know all these small little tiny things have taken me how much time and dying-cells... **sigh** but still **happy**
HAHA..
Well then, I have to put a full stop here. I have been working for the whole day, driving like crazy to the so-far-away customer's premise just for a one and a fifteen minutes talk but well, I am still very excited... But coming to calculate the commission, lol, well its quite a lot!!! Approximately 250 Dollar for a 50k deal XD
What do you say about it??
Till then, jaa mata!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
16 JUL, WED, 9:19PM
Life is like this all the time.
Working--Lunch--Working--Dinner--Internet
**Sigh**... Nothing new one?
Getting a bit sleepy already. Tomorrow I have several appointments to go for. Especially I will have to travel to BMC in the after by 3, which is 60KM from my office God Dammit!!
**Sigh**
Nothing is left after today. Later have to recharge battery after reaching home haha..
What is to be expected this weekend ler... I am wondering. L is gone T.T
Jaa, mata!
Working--Lunch--Working--Dinner--Internet
**Sigh**... Nothing new one?
Getting a bit sleepy already. Tomorrow I have several appointments to go for. Especially I will have to travel to BMC in the after by 3, which is 60KM from my office God Dammit!!
**Sigh**
Nothing is left after today. Later have to recharge battery after reaching home haha..
What is to be expected this weekend ler... I am wondering. L is gone T.T
Jaa, mata!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
15 JUL, TUE, 3:23PM
"Easy is to Judge the Mistakes of Others, Difficult is to Recognize Our Own Mistakes"
"Changing the Face Can Change Nothing, But Facing the Change Can Change Everything"
"Changing the Face Can Change Nothing, But Facing the Change Can Change Everything"
15 JUL, TUE, 11:34AM
今天我身在家乡,明天的我身在何方?
Today is the National Public Holiday of the foreign land I am working in. And so I have the chance to stay in mom's office, sitting on the floor now, putting the laptop on a small table, and write my stuff. Just that there isn't any coffee accompanies me hehe. Well, I like alcoholic drinks more these days anesthetization and yea.. to confess, I also start to adopt breathing fresh air habit lol:)
Oppss! Yesterday I met with my buddy A. We went for fast-food dinner at K*C and catched Hancock. Just only then I learn what is the meaning of John Hancock.. Boringnya~ And after the movie session we went to nearby CC and played several matches of noob game, which I was very fuss about! Leaver or Noob, which one you choose?
Coincidentally, I met Z-- Yea the newly-made friend. A thinker right hahahahaha... We had tea break together and then talked like almost 40-50 minutes inside the car. Just to let you know that, this problem has always been my problem, but I was never able to speak it out to anyone. And now I can but uh.. this is a weird conversation, somehow for me:) Maybe I can't get used to it yet.
Tonight I will have to leave to foreign land again, a 2-hour drive, which I dread the most.. Some buildings, scenery and route. God dammit scientist-tachi!! Go and create somekind of portal lar. *Shitting again..* Normally I don't say this in front of myself hehe but now that I have a reader.. Its a bit weird on how I should retain my normal self when write.
I am lost(in term of battle) and lost(in term of direction)..Dual-Lost.
Jaa ne
Today is the National Public Holiday of the foreign land I am working in. And so I have the chance to stay in mom's office, sitting on the floor now, putting the laptop on a small table, and write my stuff. Just that there isn't any coffee accompanies me hehe. Well, I like alcoholic drinks more these days anesthetization and yea.. to confess, I also start to adopt breathing fresh air habit lol:)
Oppss! Yesterday I met with my buddy A. We went for fast-food dinner at K*C and catched Hancock. Just only then I learn what is the meaning of John Hancock.. Boringnya~ And after the movie session we went to nearby CC and played several matches of noob game, which I was very fuss about! Leaver or Noob, which one you choose?
Coincidentally, I met Z-- Yea the newly-made friend. A thinker right hahahahaha... We had tea break together and then talked like almost 40-50 minutes inside the car. Just to let you know that, this problem has always been my problem, but I was never able to speak it out to anyone. And now I can but uh.. this is a weird conversation, somehow for me:) Maybe I can't get used to it yet.
Tonight I will have to leave to foreign land again, a 2-hour drive, which I dread the most.. Some buildings, scenery and route. God dammit scientist-tachi!! Go and create somekind of portal lar. *Shitting again..* Normally I don't say this in front of myself hehe but now that I have a reader.. Its a bit weird on how I should retain my normal self when write.
I am lost(in term of battle) and lost(in term of direction)..Dual-Lost.
Jaa ne
Sunday, July 13, 2008
13 JUL, SUN, 8:46PM
After the first, here comes the second.
The first time in my life, I feel changes. But I anticipate for what is coming, and I guess I can encounter it. Afterall its my life:)
These days have been quite meaningful for me, I have met one friend, Z. Z is one very special friend in my life, because I firmly believe, Z would greatly step into my life too haha. Your reading my blog eh!! So unfair!
And today a friend from Australia chat with me. She told me that she nearly killed someone by giving the man double dose of morphine. And eventually, nothing happens, everything was safe, but she resigned. I know not how serious the incident was to me, but to her, she was like so upset and scared. *sigh*
Yesterday, after talking to Z, I realised a lot of things, mostly about me and B. I really have no idea how to deal with this relationship. Flipping through our chat history, I am very sad. I think I did wrong mostly. But why those time I was so foolish to have said those words, used those tones and even raised the voice (yes, via chatting, and you definitely think that how to raise voice just by chatting with words ha).
Even at the present situation I am still searching for a meaning in my life. What would that be huh? Tell me..
The first time in my life, I feel changes. But I anticipate for what is coming, and I guess I can encounter it. Afterall its my life:)
These days have been quite meaningful for me, I have met one friend, Z. Z is one very special friend in my life, because I firmly believe, Z would greatly step into my life too haha. Your reading my blog eh!! So unfair!
And today a friend from Australia chat with me. She told me that she nearly killed someone by giving the man double dose of morphine. And eventually, nothing happens, everything was safe, but she resigned. I know not how serious the incident was to me, but to her, she was like so upset and scared. *sigh*
Yesterday, after talking to Z, I realised a lot of things, mostly about me and B. I really have no idea how to deal with this relationship. Flipping through our chat history, I am very sad. I think I did wrong mostly. But why those time I was so foolish to have said those words, used those tones and even raised the voice (yes, via chatting, and you definitely think that how to raise voice just by chatting with words ha).
Even at the present situation I am still searching for a meaning in my life. What would that be huh? Tell me..
Thursday, July 10, 2008
10 JUL, THU, 8:45PM
Actually I enjoy my life here in foreign land, though yes, I really am living by my alone-- Complete loneliness. And how many of you can really stand this kind of quietness?
Today I am getting a call from L again, which I was very happy. At least L does not forget about me! Hehe. And yesterday morning, I received a miss call on my mobile. I am curious that who would have called me? Hmm... Pondering. I never like riddle or mystery.
Shifting into new office system, I am a bit awkward. I know they have their reasons, but you see you cannot ignore my feeling. Some people are just stupid enough. *Sigh* Nothing to say. I will bet he never see the real world outside that's why he talks so arrogantly. But nevertheless, I should really keep up with the way people work. I have a bad feeling that, in time, I would be completely being wiped off from this place, either for the company's sake, or for my boss' sake. *Chuckle chuckle* I don't really feel sad lar.
While on my family part, I just recall I should grab some chances to go back and work in Miri. Mom misses me I know and so does daddy, well though, and frankly, I forget about them. Hey, but you just couldn't blame me on that. I am living by my own in my own world. For god's sake I am a special person-- I am the unique type *wakaka*
Today I talk too lot of rubbish. I don't even know the main point of my blog writing today. Maybe I just want to type and type and type, so that at least I am keeping a record of mu life for today.
I miss many of my friends, and amongst, him the most. I bet he wouldn't talk to me ever again. I know him so well. *sigh* A broken friendship, and this is the first time I encounter it in my life. B, you will be out of my life very soon:)
Till then, I wish everyone to have a happy day and live your life to the fullest. I know not why I am born, but I believe there must be a reason for it; I know not whether the path I am on is right, but I think in this matter, there is no right or wrong!
Thanks all and good night.
Today I am getting a call from L again, which I was very happy. At least L does not forget about me! Hehe. And yesterday morning, I received a miss call on my mobile. I am curious that who would have called me? Hmm... Pondering. I never like riddle or mystery.
Shifting into new office system, I am a bit awkward. I know they have their reasons, but you see you cannot ignore my feeling. Some people are just stupid enough. *Sigh* Nothing to say. I will bet he never see the real world outside that's why he talks so arrogantly. But nevertheless, I should really keep up with the way people work. I have a bad feeling that, in time, I would be completely being wiped off from this place, either for the company's sake, or for my boss' sake. *Chuckle chuckle* I don't really feel sad lar.
While on my family part, I just recall I should grab some chances to go back and work in Miri. Mom misses me I know and so does daddy, well though, and frankly, I forget about them. Hey, but you just couldn't blame me on that. I am living by my own in my own world. For god's sake I am a special person-- I am the unique type *wakaka*
Today I talk too lot of rubbish. I don't even know the main point of my blog writing today. Maybe I just want to type and type and type, so that at least I am keeping a record of mu life for today.
I miss many of my friends, and amongst, him the most. I bet he wouldn't talk to me ever again. I know him so well. *sigh* A broken friendship, and this is the first time I encounter it in my life. B, you will be out of my life very soon:)
Till then, I wish everyone to have a happy day and live your life to the fullest. I know not why I am born, but I believe there must be a reason for it; I know not whether the path I am on is right, but I think in this matter, there is no right or wrong!
Thanks all and good night.
10 JUL, THU, 11:47AM
The outcome of first meeting is as below.
Venue: Season Karaoke
Receipt
Haha.. interesting thing to put here, but today I am not in a good mood. Don't mess with me!
Venue: Season Karaoke
Receipt
06/07/2008 0:13 BILL NUMBER 2732
TABLE NO: 5 0001 CLERK0001
***PBAL RM0.00
1×7UP 6.00 RM6.00
6×CARLSBERG 9.00 RM54.00
1×HEINEKEN 9.00 RM9.00
SUBTOTAL RM60.00
10.00% SERVICE CHG RM6.00
-----------
ITEMS 7Q
14L ***TOTAL RM66.00
06/07/2008 0:14 BILL NUMBER 2732
TABLE NO: 5 0001 CLERK0001
***PBAL RM66.00
-----------
CASH RM100.00
CHANGE RM34.00
BALANCE RM0.00
Haha.. interesting thing to put here, but today I am not in a good mood. Don't mess with me!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
9 JUL, WED, 8:29PM
I am a bit frustrated. Yesterday night I dreamed about some pictures again. And why I have to suffer so much!!
I really hate myself for being so. Shit! Today is another working day for me, which I have quite a lot to work on. And not really happy in the office as the Project Manager always upset my days. But then he is a good guy, just that I cannot stand the way he talks to me sometimes *sigh*
Today I am really feeling a bit bad mood, to tell the truth. And I should go home earlier today as, I still have some clothes to wash. Remember? Today is Wednesday!!
Jaa na!
I really hate myself for being so. Shit! Today is another working day for me, which I have quite a lot to work on. And not really happy in the office as the Project Manager always upset my days. But then he is a good guy, just that I cannot stand the way he talks to me sometimes *sigh*
Today I am really feeling a bit bad mood, to tell the truth. And I should go home earlier today as, I still have some clothes to wash. Remember? Today is Wednesday!!
Jaa na!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
8 JUL, TUE, 8:45PM
从某个文章看到了这一句，这一句真的很有意思，所以今天就以这句跟大家共勉。
“站出来的人越多，我们的未来才会更有希望。”
从任何事情都把持着这个定律，“少数服从多数”以及“少数就是异类”。今天世上的种种，人们都还是如此想。譬如执政党与反对党、同性恋与异性恋、乞丐与富人、常人与天才，还有很多很多。其实公道地讲一句，不论是党派、性取向、身份、智慧等等，都不能以“因为是少数”所以被杯葛、看低、或被当成一类。
上帝赋予的“性”，凌驾于一切之上。这里说的“性”并非“性别的性”，而是那一点每个人身上都有的“道”，通称“灵性”，也因此有“性”的存在，而人才可以看、听、尝、触、感。也许很多人捉不着这一点但因为有“性”，故我们才有“七情六欲”。
想想，你不也觉得人是个很奥妙的存在吗？
为什么人会想？为什么人能感受？为什么伤心则哭泣开心则欢笑？
所以啊，只要具备这些就成为人，是人就是平等，平等有何来分别你我他？平等有何来分别残缺与健康？更不能说同性恋者是异类而异性恋者是正常的。
从任何事情都把持着这个定律，“少数服从多数”以及“少数就是异类”。今天世上的种种，人们都还是如此想。譬如执政党与反对党、同性恋与异性恋、乞丐与富人、常人与天才，还有很多很多。其实公道地讲一句，不论是党派、性取向、身份、智慧等等，都不能以“因为是少数”所以被杯葛、看低、或被当成一类。
上帝赋予的“性”，凌驾于一切之上。这里说的“性”并非“性别的性”，而是那一点每个人身上都有的“道”，通称“灵性”，也因此有“性”的存在，而人才可以看、听、尝、触、感。也许很多人捉不着这一点但因为有“性”，故我们才有“七情六欲”。
想想，你不也觉得人是个很奥妙的存在吗？
为什么人会想？为什么人能感受？为什么伤心则哭泣开心则欢笑？
所以啊，只要具备这些就成为人，是人就是平等，平等有何来分别你我他？平等有何来分别残缺与健康？更不能说同性恋者是异类而异性恋者是正常的。
Monday, July 7, 2008
7 JUL, MON, 6:16PM
我越做越没心了，自己在这里的日子，虽然有同伴的陪伴，但知人知面不知心，现在在一间公司中，我也只能相信一个人了，原来最后就只有他站在我的身边，真的很感谢他。
《心慌慌》-这首歌真的很好听
为什么没为什么
你在我脑海里那么深刻
影响我你影响我
连美味的巧克力的味道都变淡了
朋友说听朋友说
这些现象都算是正常的
没什么我没什么
只是觉得快要休克当你靠近了
心慌慌 手心在冒汗
我的坚强突然不坚强
夜慌慌 脸上在发烫
是不是你想念我的症状
我可以为你撒谎
为你变得漂亮
甚至可以陪你晒月亮
你不可对我撒谎
眼光在我身上
心事只准对我一个人讲
《心慌慌》-这首歌真的很好听
为什么没为什么
你在我脑海里那么深刻
影响我你影响我
连美味的巧克力的味道都变淡了
朋友说听朋友说
这些现象都算是正常的
没什么我没什么
只是觉得快要休克当你靠近了
心慌慌 手心在冒汗
我的坚强突然不坚强
夜慌慌 脸上在发烫
是不是你想念我的症状
我可以为你撒谎
为你变得漂亮
甚至可以陪你晒月亮
你不可对我撒谎
眼光在我身上
心事只准对我一个人讲
Sunday, July 6, 2008
6 JUL, SUN, 1:22PM
经过昨天，我觉得非常纳闷。
听了很多很多，也让我想了更多。我想，我俩都是来自不同的世界，太不可能有那个机会了。我一路坚强地走着我的人生路又是为了什么呢？到最后竟然发现会有这样的结果。
我，承受得了吗？
L跟我分享了L跟他的故事，点点滴滴，我惊察我没任何的容身之地，一切的一切的一切都跟他连贯上，那我在那一刻又是谁，在下一刻又是谁呢？
我渐渐地不明白了……
蓄意将我跟你的生活上的差别，以及作息生活的不同层次叙述，我真的撑不下去了。
这场战争，我未打先输，果然是必杀技。
听了很多很多，也让我想了更多。我想，我俩都是来自不同的世界，太不可能有那个机会了。我一路坚强地走着我的人生路又是为了什么呢？到最后竟然发现会有这样的结果。
我，承受得了吗？
L跟我分享了L跟他的故事，点点滴滴，我惊察我没任何的容身之地，一切的一切的一切都跟他连贯上，那我在那一刻又是谁，在下一刻又是谁呢？
我渐渐地不明白了……
蓄意将我跟你的生活上的差别，以及作息生活的不同层次叙述，我真的撑不下去了。
这场战争，我未打先输，果然是必杀技。
6 JUL, SUN, 1:33AM
Tonight I met with L, for the first time in my life..
Okay, I don't wanna talk much about L but just comment about the after-meeting feeling. I feel that.. we are coming from 2 totally different worlds. Too many obstacles.. too.. many.. I find it so hard if this relationship is gonna fruit. No.. so not likely.
Ha anyway, I made a good friend, who I can always look for when I am in trouble. I hope everything will be sunny once again.
Bah goodnight..
Okay, I don't wanna talk much about L but just comment about the after-meeting feeling. I feel that.. we are coming from 2 totally different worlds. Too many obstacles.. too.. many.. I find it so hard if this relationship is gonna fruit. No.. so not likely.
Ha anyway, I made a good friend, who I can always look for when I am in trouble. I hope everything will be sunny once again.
Bah goodnight..
Thursday, July 3, 2008
3 JUL, THU, 9:16PM
Going back in 15 min. But what I am happy the most is.. I am chatting again with L. L is very interesting, always have fresh topics to talk about.. and very warm. I hope this is not a mere imagination, nor a dream. I wish.. from this year onwards, my life would have a little change. Nope. It will be a big change. Perhaps the biggest..
古巨基的 《中箭》--非常贴切的表达我想说的……原来是这个滋味。
他恨下雨天 他酷爱古典乐
他沉默寡言 他时常逛书店
那一天他讲了 丘比特常失手 爱情太危险
他跟我约好了 让彼此自由一点
我开始想念 和他的每一天
聊了一整夜 说自己的从前
忽然在心理面 我隐约有一种 痛的感觉
也许是我 被他命中了 我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭
我开始想念 和他的每一天
聊了一整夜 说自己的从前
忽然在心理面 我隐约有一种 痛的感觉
也许是我 被他命中了 我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭
古巨基的 《中箭》--非常贴切的表达我想说的……原来是这个滋味。
他恨下雨天 他酷爱古典乐
他沉默寡言 他时常逛书店
那一天他讲了 丘比特常失手 爱情太危险
他跟我约好了 让彼此自由一点
我开始想念 和他的每一天
聊了一整夜 说自己的从前
忽然在心理面 我隐约有一种 痛的感觉
也许是我 被他命中了 我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭
我开始想念 和他的每一天
聊了一整夜 说自己的从前
忽然在心理面 我隐约有一种 痛的感觉
也许是我 被他命中了 我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
2 JUL, WED, 5:58PM
So shockingly, yesterday somebody called me up in skype, and it was L.
We talked and we chatted till 9 something. Only one feeling aroused in me.. a sense of warmth and happiness.. I am in deep shit.. Maybe I have truly fallen for L.
What to do now.. Still pondering. I am just liking L on the internet.
We talked and we chatted till 9 something. Only one feeling aroused in me.. a sense of warmth and happiness.. I am in deep shit.. Maybe I have truly fallen for L.
What to do now.. Still pondering. I am just liking L on the internet.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
1 JUL, TUE, 4:54PM
The company always like to organize seminar, because by this method, we can gather more potential customers in one snatch. But then, I am not that agree with this strategy. To hold a seminar, first and foremost, the objective has to be clear and pin-pointing. And, never expect people to say "Yes" in a seminar, particularly. Or "do you have any questions?" is also a stupid-enough question to tell the attendees-- Let me to be frank, people come just to listen. Its a seminar! Not a conference! I think some people they never know the meaning of seminar.
For me, I would say that a seminar is an event where we gather people, to introduce them a concept. Yes indeed, the initial meaning of this-morning seminar is right, but the latter part I wouldn't think it should evolve that way. Seminar should be easy, and have a pleasant feel. We definitely didn't do this.
Today L initiated a chat with me, which.. I am so happy about. But I am very scared.. Very scared to be.. hurt. L, would you be frank to me?
For me, I would say that a seminar is an event where we gather people, to introduce them a concept. Yes indeed, the initial meaning of this-morning seminar is right, but the latter part I wouldn't think it should evolve that way. Seminar should be easy, and have a pleasant feel. We definitely didn't do this.
Today L initiated a chat with me, which.. I am so happy about. But I am very scared.. Very scared to be.. hurt. L, would you be frank to me?
Monday, June 30, 2008
30 JUN, MON, 5:22PM
五点二十二分，感觉就好像朋友的车牌号码。
逞着做工时间听了一首特别有感觉的歌曲……《对你有感觉》。真的是一首好好好温馨的歌曲呢……
我曾深刻体会对爱感到胆怯
还好有等我的你给我安慰
看你失落的脸又在为爱憔悴
我心痛的感觉竟如此的强烈
眼角的泪它给过谁
伤痛的心也无所谓
我会愿意静静的陪在你身边
如果说爱已不可为
那我宁愿藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
情欲退被爱包围谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围让一切完美
眼角的泪它给过谁
伤痛的心也无所谓
我会愿意静静的陪在你身边
如果说爱已不可为
那我宁愿藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
情欲退被爱包围谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围让一切完美
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
你和我拥抱瞬间不后悔
这暖昧星光唯美把爱放心里面
把爱放心里面~!把爱放心里面~!把爱放心里面~!
真得很喜欢这首歌，可能有心有勇气了那份感觉的关系吧，总觉得江美琪跟光良真的把这首歌唱得淋漓尽致。
逞着做工时间听了一首特别有感觉的歌曲……《对你有感觉》。真的是一首好好好温馨的歌曲呢……
我曾深刻体会对爱感到胆怯
还好有等我的你给我安慰
看你失落的脸又在为爱憔悴
我心痛的感觉竟如此的强烈
眼角的泪它给过谁
伤痛的心也无所谓
我会愿意静静的陪在你身边
如果说爱已不可为
那我宁愿藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
情欲退被爱包围谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围让一切完美
眼角的泪它给过谁
伤痛的心也无所谓
我会愿意静静的陪在你身边
如果说爱已不可为
那我宁愿藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
情欲退被爱包围谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围让一切完美
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深深朋友恋人之间的危险
你和我拥抱瞬间不后悔
这暖昧星光唯美把爱放心里面
把爱放心里面~!把爱放心里面~!把爱放心里面~!
真得很喜欢这首歌，可能有心有勇气了那份感觉的关系吧，总觉得江美琪跟光良真的把这首歌唱得淋漓尽致。
30 JUN, MON, 3:43PM
Today I have accomplished 2 tasks, which I was having headache for. The first one, is I have obtained the cheque payment from my customer worth 22k Hoorayyyyyy! Though not much of a commission to leech from here, its only like 0.5% lol. The second thing is, I have handed off one quotation, which I wasn't able to pass up to customer due to laziness.. I guess. Hehe^^
Today is quite a beautiful day. I hope tomorrow would be good also.
Oh yea, today I drove one new car which I have longed to drive, Nissan Cefiro M360J for the first time in my life. Well, apparently it wouldn't be a car I fancy, because it is too big and so-not easy to control.
L hasn't been contacting me in the last 24 hours, and I am fed up of that.. Am I being forgotten? Or I am being abandoned? *sigh* I guess this is the kind of result people get when being in an anonymous relationship. Anyway I am happy that L ever exists in my life. I got a lot of what I want from L. Hmmm~ All the best L.
Today is quite a beautiful day. I hope tomorrow would be good also.
Oh yea, today I drove one new car which I have longed to drive, Nissan Cefiro M360J for the first time in my life. Well, apparently it wouldn't be a car I fancy, because it is too big and so-not easy to control.
L hasn't been contacting me in the last 24 hours, and I am fed up of that.. Am I being forgotten? Or I am being abandoned? *sigh* I guess this is the kind of result people get when being in an anonymous relationship. Anyway I am happy that L ever exists in my life. I got a lot of what I want from L. Hmmm~ All the best L.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
29 JUN, SUN, 4:17PM
I would say that I am the kinda person who thinks a lot, because I have too much time to be alone, and people tend to think when they are isolated.
About this about-t0-come destiny, I am pondering for some points. All of a sudden, I noticed there are so many lies lurking at the back. Please don't tell me what I suspect are bingos.. Please don't let things happen that way. I am anticipate for this feeling for my wholelife...
Uggggghhhhh!!!! Sucks! I had a lost match!
*sigh* (back to my blog)
Today I am not getting any news from L, I am so frustrated by the fact. Why? I don't really want to know the answer. Well yeah.. Maybe I am always being too much in doing everything. Maybe thats the reason I fail things.
A Saturday and a Sunday of working in the office, I guess this is what I got this week, a complete boredom! And lets wish that I can get the "at least 3 days leave".
About this about-t0-come destiny, I am pondering for some points. All of a sudden, I noticed there are so many lies lurking at the back. Please don't tell me what I suspect are bingos.. Please don't let things happen that way. I am anticipate for this feeling for my wholelife...
Uggggghhhhh!!!! Sucks! I had a lost match!
*sigh* (back to my blog)
Today I am not getting any news from L, I am so frustrated by the fact. Why? I don't really want to know the answer. Well yeah.. Maybe I am always being too much in doing everything. Maybe thats the reason I fail things.
A Saturday and a Sunday of working in the office, I guess this is what I got this week, a complete boredom! And lets wish that I can get the "at least 3 days leave".
Saturday, June 28, 2008
28 JUN, SAT, 6:10PM
试着一个人在异乡的宿舍里呆整个周末，也许很多人会想是个怎样的感觉吧。本人其实真的是属于缺乏感情派的吧 ……没感觉。讲归讲，倒是有一种惋惜的感觉，因为本来现在应该是和B在一起吧……
“算了吧，你自己也不是很庆幸么？”
心里是这么跟自己讲， 但是真心话吗？我已经分不清楚了，在很久之前本人就已经忘了如何做回自己。
莅临的初段感情，本人其实没什么把握，因为毕竟还挂念着往日的B，而出现的L，也何尝不是还挂念着其的他么？我俩之间的相识是一个缘分，就不知道这份缘，经不经得起外在因素的考验。但无可置疑的，L将在我的生命中，改变我的一切，冲击着我一路以来的信念，打翻这些陈年多余的感情，令我脱胎换骨，树立我的观念性格，更也许改变我的人生……！
很想唱这首歌，给身边的每个朋友听，也给B听……现在带来的一首……
《对的人》。
你问在我心中 是否还苦恼
那次受伤 否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角
那次流过的泪 让我学习到
如何祝福 如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到 与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要
是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现--
能愿意为了一份爱付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚了时候
我就算已经准备好
放手去爱
海阔天高
喔---耶----
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现--
“算了吧，你自己也不是很庆幸么？”
心里是这么跟自己讲， 但是真心话吗？我已经分不清楚了，在很久之前本人就已经忘了如何做回自己。
莅临的初段感情，本人其实没什么把握，因为毕竟还挂念着往日的B，而出现的L，也何尝不是还挂念着其的他么？我俩之间的相识是一个缘分，就不知道这份缘，经不经得起外在因素的考验。但无可置疑的，L将在我的生命中，改变我的一切，冲击着我一路以来的信念，打翻这些陈年多余的感情，令我脱胎换骨，树立我的观念性格，更也许改变我的人生……！
很想唱这首歌，给身边的每个朋友听，也给B听……现在带来的一首……
《对的人》。
你问在我心中 是否还苦恼
那次受伤 否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角
那次流过的泪 让我学习到
如何祝福 如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到 与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要
是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现--
能愿意为了一份爱付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚了时候
我就算已经准备好
放手去爱
海阔天高
喔---耶----
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现--
Thursday, June 26, 2008
26 JUN, THU, 7:25PM
Lately I am a bit down again. I think I am a person with several personalities. I am easily being annoyed, influenced and thrilled. But what's the point for me to stay like this?
Today, a very special event happened, and I NEVER expect it to happen.. B contacted me. I.. don't know what is this feeling, it's a mixture of happiness, disgust and irritation. I don't know. Maybe this is the reason why I am feeling so aweful now. Do I have to.. have to.. break this relationship once and for all? Or mend it up? The latter especially, is harder than I thought.
The major reason for the problem I am facing right now is because, I dunno what is the cause of the crisis in our relationship. I have no idea and I think B has no idea as well. It just.. fades away like that. Once, this is the relationship I would sacrifice everything for but now, I don't know whether I still have that enthusiasm to mend this broken relationship.. Maybe this is due to the appearance of L.
I feel like I don't want to get close to B anymore, because I know my heart is not strong enough to endure the impacts, one after another, that would come into my life in times. What I really need is very simple, serenity, tenderness, and reliability. I am once again being hurt.
Today, a very special event happened, and I NEVER expect it to happen.. B contacted me. I.. don't know what is this feeling, it's a mixture of happiness, disgust and irritation. I don't know. Maybe this is the reason why I am feeling so aweful now. Do I have to.. have to.. break this relationship once and for all? Or mend it up? The latter especially, is harder than I thought.
The major reason for the problem I am facing right now is because, I dunno what is the cause of the crisis in our relationship. I have no idea and I think B has no idea as well. It just.. fades away like that. Once, this is the relationship I would sacrifice everything for but now, I don't know whether I still have that enthusiasm to mend this broken relationship.. Maybe this is due to the appearance of L.
I feel like I don't want to get close to B anymore, because I know my heart is not strong enough to endure the impacts, one after another, that would come into my life in times. What I really need is very simple, serenity, tenderness, and reliability. I am once again being hurt.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
24 JUN, TUE, 4:23PM
《最好的朋友》
你笑的时候还是很可爱
好像从来不曾给人伤害
多久没聚会了
你双眼咪起来 问我好不好
同一家餐厅却变了口味
再怎么熟悉也不是滋味
曾几何时 我成了局外人
而无言以对
我已经不是你最好的朋友
是什么让我们生疏了太久
我生日才过 你也忘了吧
时间带走的比想象中还多
我再也不是你最好的朋友
分开以后默默一人往前走
有你的感动 我都记得啊
为什么那个最好的人 却只能经过
想跟你说我过得还不坏
伤感的个性也都没有改
年少相知的人 即使过一辈子
也无法忘怀
晓得吗 我其实非常感慨
总算还是能撑到了现在
此刻才明白 所有的无奈
都只是无奈
我已经不是你最好的朋友
是什么让我们生疏了太久
我生日才过 你也忘了吧
时间带走的比想象中还多
我再也不是你最好的朋友
分开以后默默一人往前走
有你的感动 我都记得啊
为什么那个最好的人 却只能经过
恍如隔世这个故事
回忆的结只剩下几个字
你说爱 终究是一个人的事
我已经不是你最好的朋友
是什么让我们生疏了太久
我生日才过 你也忘了吧
时间带走的比想象中还多
我再也不是你最好的朋友
分开以后默默一人往前走
有你的感动 我都记得啊
为什么那个最好的人 却只能经过
有些事情，久了，不代表就忘记了，我还记得那时侯，我还是你最好的朋友，而现在我已经不是你最好的朋友。
总想问你，是什么让我们生疏了，为何最 好的人 都只是经过……？
下次聚会，我将以什么姿态面对你，而你又会用怎么样的微笑敷衍我？一些朋友都看的出我们的故事了，他们追问，我却无言以对……
默默地追踪你的消息，从别人口中、从网站、从各个资源。但我相信，很快就会结束这一切无聊的行为，因为……我再也不是你最好的朋友了……
Monday, June 23, 2008
23 JUN, MON, 6:08PM
*sigh*
Finally I got sick here in the foreign land. Nobody to care for me this time. What should I do..? My C is too far to reach shit!
I am feeling so tired and sleepy. I hope I still can come to work tomorrow.
Finally I got sick here in the foreign land. Nobody to care for me this time. What should I do..? My C is too far to reach shit!
I am feeling so tired and sleepy. I hope I still can come to work tomorrow.
Friday, June 20, 2008
20 JUN, FRI, 2:50PM
Today is the last day this week.
Ah just coming back from outside, and read a thread. I find this so... true.
Rationally（理性）认为你好的----等于不这么认为。
Emotionally（感性）认为你好的----才是真正认为你好。
This is so true. If people are telling you that you are a good person rationally, meaning you are not. If people are telling you the same thing emotionally, they mean it. I think this explains people only speak the truth when they are having strong emotions. Well, how do you see that?
Ah just coming back from outside, and read a thread. I find this so... true.
Rationally（理性）认为你好的----等于不这么认为。
Emotionally（感性）认为你好的----才是真正认为你好。
This is so true. If people are telling you that you are a good person rationally, meaning you are not. If people are telling you the same thing emotionally, they mean it. I think this explains people only speak the truth when they are having strong emotions. Well, how do you see that?
Thursday, June 19, 2008
19 JUN, THU, 7:01PM
Listening to this song makes me feel so aweful. These days I have read a lot from the internet, people's experience and their journeys of life. Apparently I found out that, I am never the only one bearing such destiny. No matter who you are where on earth your standing, the same thing just keeps on happening, again and again. Now its me but later it might be him, her then you. Do you believe?
Premonition..《预感》。Let's listen to what this song says...
爱你变习惯不再稀罕
我们该冷静谈一谈
你说你喜欢一点点浪漫
却把跟随我的脚步放慢
没有你分享分担
我的快乐悲伤
心情天天天天纷乱
我一再试探
你一再隐瞒
是谁改变爱情原来的模样
有一种预感爱就要离岸
所有回忆却慢慢碎成片段
不能尽欢爱总是苦短
我只想要你最后的答案
有一种预感想挽回太难
对你还有无可救药的期盼
我坐立难安望眼欲穿
我会永远守在灯火阑珊的地方
Premonition..《预感》。Let's listen to what this song says...
爱你变习惯不再稀罕
我们该冷静谈一谈
你说你喜欢一点点浪漫
却把跟随我的脚步放慢
没有你分享分担
我的快乐悲伤
心情天天天天纷乱
我一再试探
你一再隐瞒
是谁改变爱情原来的模样
有一种预感爱就要离岸
所有回忆却慢慢碎成片段
不能尽欢爱总是苦短
我只想要你最后的答案
有一种预感想挽回太难
对你还有无可救药的期盼
我坐立难安望眼欲穿
我会永远守在灯火阑珊的地方
Monday, June 16, 2008
16 JUN, MON, 7:40PM
很久没有在公司留到这么迟了，因为，之前的同事已辞职了，而现在则来了一位新同事兼老友。
接近8点，外面的天空早已有淀转黑，复杂的思绪由心底再度地涌上来……是思念吗？仰或是不服？我……再也捉不清自己，只等着那个人来为我引路。
回想起去年的今天，原来那时的我还在大学原里赶我的论文，如今我已十个上班族咯，不折不扣的白领。我……真的不想就此一生，我要逃出去！
工作上遇到的快乐和烦恼，都是我每天回味的经历，哪怕那一天，这将是个再也不能享受的生活了。我现在才惊觉，原来人家说的“充实活着每一天，就当作今天是你的最后一天”是怎么一回事了。
生活真的是如此么？……
很纳闷的情绪，很想停止活下去的勇气
很忧伤的次序，阻碍着烦恼在脑里消逝
恨不得封住历史，把你牢牢记载入宣纸
因为未来将是，一场无法避免的战役
也不知道自己在写着什么……也许……什么呢？
Waiting to choose, and waiting to be chosen. Whichever it is, its up to destiny to decide, and up to fate to unite.
接近8点，外面的天空早已有淀转黑，复杂的思绪由心底再度地涌上来……是思念吗？仰或是不服？我……再也捉不清自己，只等着那个人来为我引路。
回想起去年的今天，原来那时的我还在大学原里赶我的论文，如今我已十个上班族咯，不折不扣的白领。我……真的不想就此一生，我要逃出去！
工作上遇到的快乐和烦恼，都是我每天回味的经历，哪怕那一天，这将是个再也不能享受的生活了。我现在才惊觉，原来人家说的“充实活着每一天，就当作今天是你的最后一天”是怎么一回事了。
生活真的是如此么？……
很纳闷的情绪，很想停止活下去的勇气
很忧伤的次序，阻碍着烦恼在脑里消逝
恨不得封住历史，把你牢牢记载入宣纸
因为未来将是，一场无法避免的战役
也不知道自己在写着什么……也许……什么呢？
Waiting to choose, and waiting to be chosen. Whichever it is, its up to destiny to decide, and up to fate to unite.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
13 JUN, FRI, 10:03PM
Its such a tiring day. I haven't experienced such hectic day for quite some time.. Sigh.
Working has been going on smoothly and my biggest dreaded person has gone off my life, it was such a relief. AND---- I am happy that I wasn't able to speak to her wakaka. Its a good happening in life :)
My L where are you.. I am tired lar.. If only you were around.
I off to bath first, see you later^.^
Working has been going on smoothly and my biggest dreaded person has gone off my life, it was such a relief. AND---- I am happy that I wasn't able to speak to her wakaka. Its a good happening in life :)
My L where are you.. I am tired lar.. If only you were around.
I off to bath first, see you later^.^
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
10 JUN, TUE, 5:55PM
Hello I am back! Keke..
Hmm.. What is the feeling for today.. Today I am......... hungry for the whole day!! What happen actually dear god~
And today I made another friend with people. I wonder what the reply would be hehe.. Eagerly waiting.. waiting.. waiting...
What to eat later... still thinking thinking and considering noodle, rice or porridge!
Jaa na!
Hmm.. What is the feeling for today.. Today I am......... hungry for the whole day!! What happen actually dear god~
And today I made another friend with people. I wonder what the reply would be hehe.. Eagerly waiting.. waiting.. waiting...
What to eat later... still thinking thinking and considering noodle, rice or porridge!
Jaa na!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
8 JUN, SUN, 6:18PM
Today I am not even getting one message from L. What is L doing huh?
Talking about mood, it isn't that good, because I was greatly affected by someone. I don't have any idea what happened between us, but I know from the look of it, its almost the end, if remedy is not taken. I tried to be as polite as possible, didn't I? I am tired la if you keep wanting me to pull down my honor and rub your shoes. If this is what you want, sorry I couldn't do it for you.
Haiz very boring and sienz day, especially when.. Nah forget about it.
Talking about mood, it isn't that good, because I was greatly affected by someone. I don't have any idea what happened between us, but I know from the look of it, its almost the end, if remedy is not taken. I tried to be as polite as possible, didn't I? I am tired la if you keep wanting me to pull down my honor and rub your shoes. If this is what you want, sorry I couldn't do it for you.
Haiz very boring and sienz day, especially when.. Nah forget about it.
8 JUN, SUN, 12:35AM
There is still a bit of heartache, but I think it will be over very soon. Waiting for it lo:)
Had the 1st episode of Waltz Spring, its really a nice drama. I love the setting of the story and I love the plot.
Had the 1st episode of Waltz Spring, its really a nice drama. I love the setting of the story and I love the plot.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
7 JUN, SAT, 12:05AM
This is the 10th day.. Actually its really nothing. I thought that I would be more into it but well.. Its also so so. Haha.. Is there anybody who knows what I am talking?
Tomorrow gotta fetch some Aussie friends to the airport. Gotta wake up early then that's all tata--
Tomorrow gotta fetch some Aussie friends to the airport. Gotta wake up early then that's all tata--
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
4TH JUN, WED, 5:55PM
Life is going on as normal but things have changed. Hahaha.. Ironically.
These days I was having fun, and for the first time in my life, I see changes. I hope it isn't just an illusion^^
The power of will power, I must admit, and you must admit too!
These days I was having fun, and for the first time in my life, I see changes. I hope it isn't just an illusion^^
The power of will power, I must admit, and you must admit too!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
27 MAY, TUE, 5:58PM
2 minutes before I go.. I wanna leave something for today.
I never felt that I am so being hated, but today I experienced it. I am so sad to know about this, probably this is the end.
Boku wa orokana hito na.
I never felt that I am so being hated, but today I experienced it. I am so sad to know about this, probably this is the end.
Boku wa orokana hito na.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
25 MAY, SUN, 7:13PM
感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛
所以才能变成你的背影
有再多的遗憾用来好好记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影
所以才能变成你的背影
躲在安静角落不用你回头看
不用珍惜
来自林宥嘉的歌曲。
刚开始听的时候，不觉得有什么特别，就觉得主唱者怎么用这么奇怪的方式唱歌。但，歌词的内容无可置疑，很贴切。听久了，每当这首歌曲响起的时候，还会带有一丝丝的感动。
实心动摇了吗？
我是谁？我为什么会在这个世上存活着？我的生命有何意义？我会否会为昨天所做的事情后悔么？
不会
所以才能变成你的背影
有再多的遗憾用来好好记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影
所以才能变成你的背影
躲在安静角落不用你回头看
不用珍惜
来自林宥嘉的歌曲。
刚开始听的时候，不觉得有什么特别，就觉得主唱者怎么用这么奇怪的方式唱歌。但，歌词的内容无可置疑，很贴切。听久了，每当这首歌曲响起的时候，还会带有一丝丝的感动。
实心动摇了吗？
我是谁？我为什么会在这个世上存活着？我的生命有何意义？我会否会为昨天所做的事情后悔么？
不会
Saturday, May 24, 2008
24 MAY, SAT, 1:40PM
………………
算了吧 忘了吧别再这样好吗
干干脆脆分的潇洒 留下清清楚楚的挣扎
二月的天空 泪雨不停地下
算了吧忘了吧别再这样好吗
拖拖拉拉是愚蠢的想法
不如勇敢去面对这疲惫的步伐
《二月雨》词：培铨 曲：文康
唱出了某人的心情。
算了吧。。Life still have to keep on.
拍拍自己的脸，明天还是美好的:)
算了吧 忘了吧别再这样好吗
干干脆脆分的潇洒 留下清清楚楚的挣扎
二月的天空 泪雨不停地下
算了吧忘了吧别再这样好吗
拖拖拉拉是愚蠢的想法
不如勇敢去面对这疲惫的步伐
《二月雨》词：培铨 曲：文康
唱出了某人的心情。
算了吧。。Life still have to keep on.
拍拍自己的脸，明天还是美好的:)
Friday, May 23, 2008
23 MAY, FRI, 11:48PM
心底真的很难受，大概已不行了吧。。纵使自己拥有在坚强的心，这一刻断然发现，原来真的已没什么信心了。
忽冷忽热的煎熬，恕我没办法接受。
这五个月在外坡的确想了很多。该想的不该想的，卑鄙的下贱的伟大的慈悲的，都想了。毕竟自己还是人啊，七情六欲还缠身，原来自己的底子里是这么卑贱的，该怎么办好呢？
每天的朝八晚九，加上寂静的晚上，再伴上寂寞的袭击，很快的。。我想很快了。此时的我真的好伤心难过心疼不舍，但能如何呢？负面的思绪不断的冲击自己毫无防备的心坎，此时的我没办法容得下温柔。
我需要什么呢？一个真的可以爱我的人吧。无时无刻不离不弃、我累了时的精神支柱、我倦了时的肩膀、我受伤时的避风港、一个家。
有谁自愿吗？请举手。
忽冷忽热的煎熬，恕我没办法接受。
这五个月在外坡的确想了很多。该想的不该想的，卑鄙的下贱的伟大的慈悲的，都想了。毕竟自己还是人啊，七情六欲还缠身，原来自己的底子里是这么卑贱的，该怎么办好呢？
每天的朝八晚九，加上寂静的晚上，再伴上寂寞的袭击，很快的。。我想很快了。此时的我真的好伤心难过心疼不舍，但能如何呢？负面的思绪不断的冲击自己毫无防备的心坎，此时的我没办法容得下温柔。
我需要什么呢？一个真的可以爱我的人吧。无时无刻不离不弃、我累了时的精神支柱、我倦了时的肩膀、我受伤时的避风港、一个家。
有谁自愿吗？请举手。
Sunday, May 18, 2008
18 MAY, SUN, 11:31AM
Let me recall the movie I just watched.. yes "Awake" starred by Hayden Christensen. He was the dark vador back in Star Wars. It was a nice movie. Enough surprises and suspensions ha.. I enjoyed it but it really horrified me.
Yesterday I was suppose to watch another movie "Ironman", which is of the Marvel Comic. I asked like 7 persons, and only one replied me "Who is going". This is really sucks. Looks like it would be the last time for me to ask those several friends. If they are not fancy about it, then I might not have to ask them also. I am more than happy to do so. I rather go and watch a solo movie, which is what I love to do all this time.
Movies movies.. What else do I like hmm.. Do I like badminton? Sometimes and depends who I am going with. I like singing yes, but I'd say that I like to sing for others. I like swimming? Ha.. just for certain reasons. I like gym? No persistency I like travel? Yes, by myself or someone very closed, perhaps a 2-person trip. I like computer? I don't think so, but I can hardly live without it. I like my parents, sisters and brother. I like DoTA, I guess so eh? Ha..
What else do I like? I like to meet Japanese. I like to speak Japanese. I like to live in Japan. I like to attend Cosplay. I like to do cosplay. I like to go shopping if I am money-sufficient. I like to dress beautifully. I like to.. watch anime and read manga. I like to...
I think that's all I can think. All these are just craps, something out of boredom I guess..
Jaa!
Yesterday I was suppose to watch another movie "Ironman", which is of the Marvel Comic. I asked like 7 persons, and only one replied me "Who is going". This is really sucks. Looks like it would be the last time for me to ask those several friends. If they are not fancy about it, then I might not have to ask them also. I am more than happy to do so. I rather go and watch a solo movie, which is what I love to do all this time.
Movies movies.. What else do I like hmm.. Do I like badminton? Sometimes and depends who I am going with. I like singing yes, but I'd say that I like to sing for others. I like swimming? Ha.. just for certain reasons. I like gym? No persistency I like travel? Yes, by myself or someone very closed, perhaps a 2-person trip. I like computer? I don't think so, but I can hardly live without it. I like my parents, sisters and brother. I like DoTA, I guess so eh? Ha..
What else do I like? I like to meet Japanese. I like to speak Japanese. I like to live in Japan. I like to attend Cosplay. I like to do cosplay. I like to go shopping if I am money-sufficient. I like to dress beautifully. I like to.. watch anime and read manga. I like to...
I think that's all I can think. All these are just craps, something out of boredom I guess..
Jaa!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
17 MAY, SAT, 9:36PM
I am feeling restless and somehow down. The more I know the more it hurts me. Do I have a place to hide to flee or to disappear to? I am starting to feel once again that, I am going into the 4-dimension. I know not where to head, I know not when, I know not how.. The only thing I know it, I am suffocating day after day, perhaps one day I might choke to death..
Running breathlessly, it is to no avail. No point you are running away, and no point you pretend it is nothing because you know, you can never let go.
Laugh and cry
Live and Die
Life is a dream we are dreaming..
Ha.. *sigh*
Its so ironic to know the fact that, I am never being given the chance haha.. *sigh* I really have no idea how long more can I endure, the tiredness I mean, and the conflicts.
Running breathlessly, it is to no avail. No point you are running away, and no point you pretend it is nothing because you know, you can never let go.
Laugh and cry
Live and Die
Life is a dream we are dreaming..
Ha.. *sigh*
Its so ironic to know the fact that, I am never being given the chance haha.. *sigh* I really have no idea how long more can I endure, the tiredness I mean, and the conflicts.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
14 MAY, WED, 6:59PM
The weather is going humid. Is it going to be a great storm?? Hehe.. I can't wait to see it.
I am such a big jerk, while people are worrying, I am actually anticipating it. What is this? Mischievous? Ha..
Later gonna catch a movie with friend if possible. Hope the weather wouldn't be so bad lar.
Jaa.
I am such a big jerk, while people are worrying, I am actually anticipating it. What is this? Mischievous? Ha..
Later gonna catch a movie with friend if possible. Hope the weather wouldn't be so bad lar.
Jaa.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
13 MAY, TUE, 6:55PM
Today is a tiring day. Seems like everyday is tiring for me.
Last night I couldn't have a good sleep. I have no idea why but in the midst of my sleep, I felt like.. I was being pressed by something on my body. It's like dream but it was so real. No idea.
Being lonely in foreign land, what should I do?
After yesterday night, all of the sudden I feel that life is so unpredicted. I have this feeling because while I was driving yesterday, I really could feel the dangers.
Today I was reborn:)
Last night I couldn't have a good sleep. I have no idea why but in the midst of my sleep, I felt like.. I was being pressed by something on my body. It's like dream but it was so real. No idea.
Being lonely in foreign land, what should I do?
After yesterday night, all of the sudden I feel that life is so unpredicted. I have this feeling because while I was driving yesterday, I really could feel the dangers.
Today I was reborn:)
Monday, May 12, 2008
12 MAY, MON, 7:19PM
He is feeling quite down today
Low mood
Because he was being treated the same way again
It is life
It is fate
He is cold
He is hot
In some sense, he is invincible
In another sense, he is vulnerable
Just like the theme of the blog
Life is heading to the destination
Where would that be
When
How
Am I suppose to be the one
Am I suppose the one who holds the key
To unlock the silence
To trigger the circumstance
I don't know cos' I have no idea
Neither experience
Nor the ability to foresee
And here I am
Talking bullshit
And bidding goodbye
Low mood
Because he was being treated the same way again
It is life
It is fate
He is cold
He is hot
In some sense, he is invincible
In another sense, he is vulnerable
Just like the theme of the blog
Life is heading to the destination
Where would that be
When
How
Am I suppose to be the one
Am I suppose the one who holds the key
To unlock the silence
To trigger the circumstance
I don't know cos' I have no idea
Neither experience
Nor the ability to foresee
And here I am
Talking bullshit
And bidding goodbye
12 MAY, MON, 10:14AM
Today I take a one-day leave, and luckily I am taking today because I am tired..
Hmm.. What to be expected next week.
Most importantly, when would I have the courage to confess.... Gosh!
Hmm.. What to be expected next week.
Most importantly, when would I have the courage to confess.... Gosh!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
7 MAY, WED, 7:58PM
A bit sad for we are having less things to chat on, what happened? Because of my behaviour? If it really is, would a "I don't mean it" solves the problem? Tell me la.
These days have been so busy, busy like never before. So this is busy working life.. A fully utilization of my remaining time, which I don't know when will that be.. Tomorrow? Next week? Or.. 50 years later?
This Monday, I was happy for a reason that, the spring might be around the corner. I am tired, real tired! I need a proper life I need a normal life. Hopefully this is it.
The Core sings,
What can I do to make you happy
What can I do to make you care
Do I have to keep on with my belief? Or move on to the destiny?
Saa na--
These days have been so busy, busy like never before. So this is busy working life.. A fully utilization of my remaining time, which I don't know when will that be.. Tomorrow? Next week? Or.. 50 years later?
This Monday, I was happy for a reason that, the spring might be around the corner. I am tired, real tired! I need a proper life I need a normal life. Hopefully this is it.
The Core sings,
What can I do to make you happy
What can I do to make you care
Do I have to keep on with my belief? Or move on to the destiny?
Saa na--
Saturday, May 3, 2008
3 MAY, SAT, 12:52PM
听着《一公升眼泪》的主题曲，心里突然涌出了一些感触。生命的不如意十之八九，可是，你是否能把这一切的一切的一切看作考验呢？即使有的考验是在探试着你如何面对“生死”。不禁，再次的感觉到自己的不幸是那么的微不足道。埋怨自己埋怨上天埋怨所身的地方，是时候放下了吧。。前方的路还远得很，但偏偏指路标还看不着；要做的事情一摞摞，可是心有余力不足。
多少个没人的夜里，发着清晰甜蜜的噩梦。
每每听到这首歌《OnlyHuman》心底就无名的感慨万分，好动人的旋律、好悲凄的中提琴、好勇敢的面对方式。木藤亚也，安息吧，我会记住你的精神的！
多少个没人的夜里，发着清晰甜蜜的噩梦。
每每听到这首歌《OnlyHuman》心底就无名的感慨万分，好动人的旋律、好悲凄的中提琴、好勇敢的面对方式。木藤亚也，安息吧，我会记住你的精神的！
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
30 APR, WED, 10:17PM
I don't think that today I can be home at 11am. I slept at 12 yesterday and today I drove for 3 hours. Actually I am tired *sigh* When can I be home?
I am said to be tame and good by our business partner. Yes, I am tame but for me its stupidity. Do I really need to do that much for this company? What would it brings to me? Job satisfaction? No. Big money? No. Experience? Unlikely? Saving? Yes. Love? No idea. Praises? I don't wanna comment about this as I am not sure if those praises were true. What else? No more.
I am losing my family. I am losing my time. I am losing my youth. I am losing my opportunity.
Yesterday night, I suddenly thought of one person. That person appeared to be my shouren. How I hope that you are still around. Where are you now? I had such a wonderful time those days, when we were so closed. But eventually, what happened I don't know, even till now. What kept us apart? Why no news from you even I took the initiative to contact you? I am in agony. Your tender touch, you held my hand, I could never ever forget about those..
I am so lonely. Desperately need someone to cure my heart, to give me strength.. But where are YOU?
I am said to be tame and good by our business partner. Yes, I am tame but for me its stupidity. Do I really need to do that much for this company? What would it brings to me? Job satisfaction? No. Big money? No. Experience? Unlikely? Saving? Yes. Love? No idea. Praises? I don't wanna comment about this as I am not sure if those praises were true. What else? No more.
I am losing my family. I am losing my time. I am losing my youth. I am losing my opportunity.
Yesterday night, I suddenly thought of one person. That person appeared to be my shouren. How I hope that you are still around. Where are you now? I had such a wonderful time those days, when we were so closed. But eventually, what happened I don't know, even till now. What kept us apart? Why no news from you even I took the initiative to contact you? I am in agony. Your tender touch, you held my hand, I could never ever forget about those..
I am so lonely. Desperately need someone to cure my heart, to give me strength.. But where are YOU?
Monday, April 28, 2008
28 APR, MON, 6:37PM
The office leaves 2 of us. He is working while I am writing.
Today, I learned that one staff is leaving us. Actually, as a colleague to her, I think she is quite a dedicated employee, but she is still leaving us. What the reason is, I don't know. But from what I see, she is leaving unwillingly. What could that be? Haiz.. Kasihan her only that she doesn't know who is really bringing her this trouble.
Yesterday someone told me that she likes someone. Why did she tell me this? She wants me to help her is it? Ha.. Yes I can provide but what is the point lol.
I hafta go dinner. Bah.
Today, I learned that one staff is leaving us. Actually, as a colleague to her, I think she is quite a dedicated employee, but she is still leaving us. What the reason is, I don't know. But from what I see, she is leaving unwillingly. What could that be? Haiz.. Kasihan her only that she doesn't know who is really bringing her this trouble.
Yesterday someone told me that she likes someone. Why did she tell me this? She wants me to help her is it? Ha.. Yes I can provide but what is the point lol.
I hafta go dinner. Bah.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
27 APR, SUN, 1:06AM
Today is Sunday morning 1:06am and yes, I am still awake. I just read a student's blog this afternoon and it really gave me "omg!" feeling. Too good for a 14-year-old.. I like his style and the way he expresses things. I hope to be like him as when you read the writing, you will feel so relaxed. This is gifted, sometimes i would think.
I feel a bit aweful today, but a bit of shock also. My buddy got into an accident but luckily he is alright. Not to mention, it was neither deadly nor severe type. Going back to the scene, in fact, I had this chill in me. I suppose I am very afraid of accident? No idea. I am afraid that people would get injured and in the worst case, DEATH. It'd be sad. The accident reminded me of my first and second accidents.
Coming to Sunday means going back to my original position in foreign land. I wouldn't allow myself to be dragged away by the pressure and by some of the wicked. Haha.. Joking la actually they are JUST protective. Well Cheng, don't challenge me by asking other people to read this. I might backstab you from behind. Remember, I use pole not knife! You will bleed to death HAHAHA!!
Well then, Good night and my buddy, have a good night sleep. Next week, you would see it as a joke and story XD.
I feel a bit aweful today, but a bit of shock also. My buddy got into an accident but luckily he is alright. Not to mention, it was neither deadly nor severe type. Going back to the scene, in fact, I had this chill in me. I suppose I am very afraid of accident? No idea. I am afraid that people would get injured and in the worst case, DEATH. It'd be sad. The accident reminded me of my first and second accidents.
Coming to Sunday means going back to my original position in foreign land. I wouldn't allow myself to be dragged away by the pressure and by some of the wicked. Haha.. Joking la actually they are JUST protective. Well Cheng, don't challenge me by asking other people to read this. I might backstab you from behind. Remember, I use pole not knife! You will bleed to death HAHAHA!!
Well then, Good night and my buddy, have a good night sleep. Next week, you would see it as a joke and story XD.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
26 APR, SAT, 12:00PM
Today is another day-off. Mom and dad are back in home already.
How would my Saturday goes? I don't think it would be a nice one as tonight I am, well, somehow being forced to do something. *sigh*
How would my Saturday goes? I don't think it would be a nice one as tonight I am, well, somehow being forced to do something. *sigh*
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
22 APR, TUE, 8:48PM
All this time I was hoping one day that, yes, the job in my own hometown would come to me. But now that the chance is here, its a bit contradicting.
What am I think? Am I not hate the current job I am doing? Or in fact I like this job? Or am I not willing to leave this post because of certain really? Am I looking forward to something? This is really me. I think too much, you always say me, am I??
To be honest, I want to stay in my current post. I still have several things to look forward to. Firstly, it would be the new chair and new partitioning. Secondly, it would be a person. And third, it would be another people. What this 2 persons are about there isn't anything that might concern anyone, I guess.. It is just for me that, well it is one of the factors.
Something was disturbing me today, because after yesterday, the things keep on happening stop to happen again. And another thing is that I wasn't being viewed. And it is really troubling me.
Still the same old line, why me?
This is the song that I fancy so much. Why so? I dunno why. Find out yourself^^
Everybody looking for that something
Something that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
A place you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers' eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary life
You find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos' who's to know
Which one you'll let go
Would have made you complete
Well for me it is waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
For any given time or place
Its little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
It is like flying without wings
Cos your my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you brings
I'm flying without wings...
What am I think? Am I not hate the current job I am doing? Or in fact I like this job? Or am I not willing to leave this post because of certain really? Am I looking forward to something? This is really me. I think too much, you always say me, am I??
To be honest, I want to stay in my current post. I still have several things to look forward to. Firstly, it would be the new chair and new partitioning. Secondly, it would be a person. And third, it would be another people. What this 2 persons are about there isn't anything that might concern anyone, I guess.. It is just for me that, well it is one of the factors.
Something was disturbing me today, because after yesterday, the things keep on happening stop to happen again. And another thing is that I wasn't being viewed. And it is really troubling me.
Still the same old line, why me?
This is the song that I fancy so much. Why so? I dunno why. Find out yourself^^
Everybody looking for that something
Something that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
A place you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers' eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary life
You find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos' who's to know
Which one you'll let go
Would have made you complete
Well for me it is waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
For any given time or place
Its little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
It is like flying without wings
Cos your my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you brings
I'm flying without wings...
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