不知为何，呆在安静的办公室里竟显得格外的感性。。翻过弟弟的相簿，发觉原来我们真的分离了，竟然到现在才察觉，我是个怎样的哥哥呢?原来我是那么地疼惜他。。这才惊觉。
这条路已经开跑了，什么时候会结束呢？我自己很昏眩，什么都想不到。之前不是说要一走了之吗？现在就后悔了？因为矛盾。
我觉得我还是该快点决定以后的道路该怎么走，不然已25的我真的太落人几步了。
时光匆匆，这一是第四个星期了，工钱也已领到。说真的，在这里做工还真的没什么回忆，没什么令人感动地回忆，也没什么深刻的经历。这里没大楼以赞叹，没繁华的都市夜景可瞭望，也没热闹的街头打发时间，跟没有期待的恋情。
我来到了《静止城》吗？
佐恩真是个勇敢的男孩，因为他不怕孤独。
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
30, JAN, 6:26PM
I flashed through my brother's photos just now and a sour sensation came across me.. For how long have both of us not met each other? I miss him dearly.
How are you my brother?
Did you go through those times I was having when we were apart?
For a second tears almost spilled out from my eyes.
You must take care of yourself.. Don't get sick. Let me be the one to bear the sadness and pain for you, and everyone in my family. For you all, I am willing.
Love you dad, mom, big sis, er jie, san jie, xiao jie and le le! You are the people I love and treasure the most in life!
How are you my brother?
Did you go through those times I was having when we were apart?
For a second tears almost spilled out from my eyes.
You must take care of yourself.. Don't get sick. Let me be the one to bear the sadness and pain for you, and everyone in my family. For you all, I am willing.
Love you dad, mom, big sis, er jie, san jie, xiao jie and le le! You are the people I love and treasure the most in life!
30 JAN, WED, 3:05PM
A bit of refreshment in the midst of working hour:)
Yesterday we went for a movie. It was fun and sweet and memorable.
We had dinner together and then after the movie we stayed till very late around midnight.
The breeze of the seaside was warm. The sensation of the touch, and the tenderness..
Ah.. I hoped everything remains the same forever. I hope the time could stop. I hoped the feeling was eternal. And it was not a dream, for god's sake.. Thanks..
Yesterday we went for a movie. It was fun and sweet and memorable.
We had dinner together and then after the movie we stayed till very late around midnight.
The breeze of the seaside was warm. The sensation of the touch, and the tenderness..
Ah.. I hoped everything remains the same forever. I hope the time could stop. I hoped the feeling was eternal. And it was not a dream, for god's sake.. Thanks..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
29 JAN, TUE, 6:17PM
I have a dream, not just one actually. In fact there are a lot..
24 years of bachelorhood, its finally the time to come.. My vision blurred as tears stream down my cheeks. Its really happening. Miracles do happen.
For the second time in life, my life is bloomed with the scent of fragrance. It happened too slow before, and unexpectedly sudden and fast in no time, as you couldn't believe. A word it is to automate the wheel of fortune. Once it comes, its unstoppable.
Going into a new life I hope, everything could be as I wish.
Cheers!
24 years of bachelorhood, its finally the time to come.. My vision blurred as tears stream down my cheeks. Its really happening. Miracles do happen.
For the second time in life, my life is bloomed with the scent of fragrance. It happened too slow before, and unexpectedly sudden and fast in no time, as you couldn't believe. A word it is to automate the wheel of fortune. Once it comes, its unstoppable.
Going into a new life I hope, everything could be as I wish.
Cheers!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
26 JAN, SAT, 11:14PM
久违了，电脑。。
已经好久没用自己的电脑来写自己的部落格了，感觉是很好的。
今天他真是受了一天的苦，这苦头不简单啊。从昨晚8时许久一直痛到今早8时许，间中迷迷糊糊的，没睡有2个小时吧。。
时间真的好漫长，特别是身在异乡的他，特别的挂念家里、家人。整个晚上他吐了6次以上，吐得胯下都抽筋了，这还是他第一次，以自己的一是呕吐，一吐却是那么多次。他真的好想大叫、好想哭出来。。那种异乡病痛的感觉，没人照顾的感觉，不属于自己的小床铺、冰冷的地板加上忽冷忽热的空间，感觉异常的凄悲。没办法之下，忍着痛的他跪在硬梆梆的地上，恳求老母的大恩大德，宽恕我的不是、我的不对以及无知。
之后的情况都没有好转，差不多5点许，发觉到坐卧在床上的墙角似乎没那么痛，终于可以有个数十分钟的睡眠，真得太累太累了。。太阳出来后就他也恍惚地醒来了，疼痛又袭击了。。他没办法之下去厕所坐了下来，希望可以疏放些便物，便物没有，倒是不经不觉地睡起来了。大概在里面30分钟许吧，出来后躺在床上，终于不痛了，一睡就是睡到2时许。之后起来吃点东西，吸了堆积半山的衣服，又回去呼呼大睡了。
到了晚上，吃了晚饭，来到公司上上网，希望可以期待些什么哈。。这一天就在写部落格中消逝啦。。
感言：
来到了陌生的汶莱，感觉很寂静、很舒服的安静，可是另一边却是意外的寂寞及挂念。这就是游子们的感觉吧。
目前的目标，赚了钱开始自己的生意！我不喜欢打工。。我要旅游。B也许已找到生命的方向了吧。。很替你开心。
已经好久没用自己的电脑来写自己的部落格了，感觉是很好的。
今天他真是受了一天的苦，这苦头不简单啊。从昨晚8时许久一直痛到今早8时许，间中迷迷糊糊的，没睡有2个小时吧。。
时间真的好漫长，特别是身在异乡的他，特别的挂念家里、家人。整个晚上他吐了6次以上，吐得胯下都抽筋了，这还是他第一次，以自己的一是呕吐，一吐却是那么多次。他真的好想大叫、好想哭出来。。那种异乡病痛的感觉，没人照顾的感觉，不属于自己的小床铺、冰冷的地板加上忽冷忽热的空间，感觉异常的凄悲。没办法之下，忍着痛的他跪在硬梆梆的地上，恳求老母的大恩大德，宽恕我的不是、我的不对以及无知。
之后的情况都没有好转，差不多5点许，发觉到坐卧在床上的墙角似乎没那么痛，终于可以有个数十分钟的睡眠，真得太累太累了。。太阳出来后就他也恍惚地醒来了，疼痛又袭击了。。他没办法之下去厕所坐了下来，希望可以疏放些便物，便物没有，倒是不经不觉地睡起来了。大概在里面30分钟许吧，出来后躺在床上，终于不痛了，一睡就是睡到2时许。之后起来吃点东西，吸了堆积半山的衣服，又回去呼呼大睡了。
到了晚上，吃了晚饭，来到公司上上网，希望可以期待些什么哈。。这一天就在写部落格中消逝啦。。
感言：
来到了陌生的汶莱，感觉很寂静、很舒服的安静，可是另一边却是意外的寂寞及挂念。这就是游子们的感觉吧。
目前的目标，赚了钱开始自己的生意！我不喜欢打工。。我要旅游。B也许已找到生命的方向了吧。。很替你开心。
26 JAN, SAT, 11:03PM
Paste a piece of my dairy up here. Because it is something that is of that moment.
2008年一月二十五日凌晨2点
因为贪吃，约了人家去吃自助大餐，结果最终弄得自己肠胃不适，一个晚上吐了第四次。。还是无法解决问题。我知错了老母，弟子好累。。好想睡觉。。现在谁在我身边都不能做什么，我只能自己受苦。好痛苦。。。
Friday, January 25, 2008
25 JAN, FRI, 6:18PM
《无奈+矛盾》
无奈。因为无奈才做出自己不想做的事。无奈是一种进退两难的感觉，往前或往后的一步都不恰当，必不得已的情况下，唯有选择一个方向，这个方向对常人来讲是“理智的方向”，这就是无奈。
生活中很多无奈啊。无奈要走这条路、无奈要做出这样的选择、无奈要戴面具、无奈要强颜欢笑、无奈要撒谎、无奈要生存下处，很多很多的无奈，虽然都是对的选择，却是不愿意做的选择。
矛盾。一时说一套。一时说要一时又不要、不愿、不想、不能。。人处在矛盾之中，我想原因是没有办法找到真正的方向吧。走了这一步才觉得“那一步”应该更好，改成“那一步”反倒觉得怎么之前会这么想。
茅盾跟无奈，两者是完全相反的意义，但你却可同时拥有两者。既可以很无奈的作出一个选择（知道是对的），但选择后却可矛盾地觉得另一个选择更对（其实不对）。
人故有心，才能有七情六欲（喜、怒、哀、乐、爱、恶、欲；色、声、香、味、触、法），故有七情六欲才生出多余、复杂的感觉。
他的生命很无奈，他也很矛盾，因为他跟本就是在沼泽里游泳--拼命游是对的，但如果停下四肢，倒更轻松自在。哈。。可笑！
无奈。因为无奈才做出自己不想做的事。无奈是一种进退两难的感觉，往前或往后的一步都不恰当，必不得已的情况下，唯有选择一个方向，这个方向对常人来讲是“理智的方向”，这就是无奈。
生活中很多无奈啊。无奈要走这条路、无奈要做出这样的选择、无奈要戴面具、无奈要强颜欢笑、无奈要撒谎、无奈要生存下处，很多很多的无奈，虽然都是对的选择，却是不愿意做的选择。
矛盾。一时说一套。一时说要一时又不要、不愿、不想、不能。。人处在矛盾之中，我想原因是没有办法找到真正的方向吧。走了这一步才觉得“那一步”应该更好，改成“那一步”反倒觉得怎么之前会这么想。
茅盾跟无奈，两者是完全相反的意义，但你却可同时拥有两者。既可以很无奈的作出一个选择（知道是对的），但选择后却可矛盾地觉得另一个选择更对（其实不对）。
人故有心，才能有七情六欲（喜、怒、哀、乐、爱、恶、欲；色、声、香、味、触、法），故有七情六欲才生出多余、复杂的感觉。
他的生命很无奈，他也很矛盾，因为他跟本就是在沼泽里游泳--拼命游是对的，但如果停下四肢，倒更轻松自在。哈。。可笑！
Thursday, January 24, 2008
24 JAN, THU, 9:37Am
Today is Thursday, a dull day. Everything seems grey, and my thoughts swayed.
Ah.. So lot of things to be finished. Could it be finished? I doubt.. My mind is blur now. Don't have the time to think of the unnecessary things, just thinking of how to make better calls. I like to make people to like me. I have the topics to chat just that, when I got carried away, it would be terrible..
I am so immature in some sense ha...
You ler? How are you lately? Eat well? Hoping you can have another fine day!
Ah.. So lot of things to be finished. Could it be finished? I doubt.. My mind is blur now. Don't have the time to think of the unnecessary things, just thinking of how to make better calls. I like to make people to like me. I have the topics to chat just that, when I got carried away, it would be terrible..
I am so immature in some sense ha...
You ler? How are you lately? Eat well? Hoping you can have another fine day!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
22 JAN, TUE, 7:00PM
《累了》
有时得他很天真，真的很天真。。一句开玩笑的话可以使他开心好一段时间，虽然并非是什么很特别的话，本人也肯定也不可能察觉，就可以带来温馨的感觉。
生活在这里，没有了干扰，也没有了娱乐，唯独忙碌。。外边究竟发生了什么事呢？世界每一天都发生着大事，可是他好像断了线似的，完全与世隔绝，每天只想着“今天该做些什么事”、“该去那里吃饭”、“该看什么戏”、“该几点睡”。如此的，一天复一天、一周复一周、总会变成一月复一月，甚至是年。。。
生命是为了什么呢？有时就不解的又想起同一个问题，这个问题也开始进入了第7年哈。。答案么？他不知道。什么时候才会揭晓呢？他也不懂。他能做的，就只有等、等、继续地等，等待哪一天哪个人让他生命中的薪火重新哄烧。。
看着没有温度的荧幕，读着没有感情的文字，哈。。好茫然啊！累了。
有时得他很天真，真的很天真。。一句开玩笑的话可以使他开心好一段时间，虽然并非是什么很特别的话，本人也肯定也不可能察觉，就可以带来温馨的感觉。
生活在这里，没有了干扰，也没有了娱乐，唯独忙碌。。外边究竟发生了什么事呢？世界每一天都发生着大事，可是他好像断了线似的，完全与世隔绝，每天只想着“今天该做些什么事”、“该去那里吃饭”、“该看什么戏”、“该几点睡”。如此的，一天复一天、一周复一周、总会变成一月复一月，甚至是年。。。
生命是为了什么呢？有时就不解的又想起同一个问题，这个问题也开始进入了第7年哈。。答案么？他不知道。什么时候才会揭晓呢？他也不懂。他能做的，就只有等、等、继续地等，等待哪一天哪个人让他生命中的薪火重新哄烧。。
看着没有温度的荧幕，读着没有感情的文字，哈。。好茫然啊！累了。
Sunday, January 20, 2008
21 JAN, SUN, 1:59AM
Tha past day, I was so happy. I could gather with my best friend, and I could enjoy one of the most interesting game. I hope everything would be fine tomorrow.
Ah... Its 2 in the morning and I am still awake.. What the.. I should get to sleep earlier or else I might get pimples again ARgh!!!
I am happy, as long as I don't think of the problems..
Thanks GOD for everything you gave me. I do appreciate it. But human is greedy, and I say that as I am one of those too:( Spare me more GOD.
Ah... Its 2 in the morning and I am still awake.. What the.. I should get to sleep earlier or else I might get pimples again ARgh!!!
I am happy, as long as I don't think of the problems..
Thanks GOD for everything you gave me. I do appreciate it. But human is greedy, and I say that as I am one of those too:( Spare me more GOD.
Friday, January 18, 2008
18 JAN, FRI, 11:27PM
So tired.. Ah.. finally back at home. Its a relief, but there is a vow that hasn't been realised.
Tired tired tired.. Good night.
Tired tired tired.. Good night.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
16 JAN, WED, 6:56PM
《勇气》
终于做了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理 只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去 我知道一切不容易
我的心继续温习说服自己 最怕你忽然说要放弃。。
在路上他不由地想起了这首歌，很悲伤。。他很累了，甚至有这个念头“如果公路意外发生在我身上也还真不错。”
自私的念头！他有点无药可救，很显:(
とにかく、なぜかれは私の思いが解らないのか？頭が痛いな。僕は特別だから。。そうだね。
想着无头绪的疑惑，好累人啊。好想逃！！！
终于做了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理 只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去 我知道一切不容易
我的心继续温习说服自己 最怕你忽然说要放弃。。
在路上他不由地想起了这首歌，很悲伤。。他很累了，甚至有这个念头“如果公路意外发生在我身上也还真不错。”
自私的念头！他有点无药可救，很显:(
とにかく、なぜかれは私の思いが解らないのか？頭が痛いな。僕は特別だから。。そうだね。
想着无头绪的疑惑，好累人啊。好想逃！！！
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
15 JAN, TUE, 6:33PM
This week started with tiredness. Perhaps its due to insufficient of sleeps. Ah... Today feel really sucks and tense! I dunno what to do in the first place and I am unsure of my position secondly. I am so lame. How am I going to become shit..
Caught up information about Auction, Reverse Auction and SMS Auction, and able to print a 11-page information on the Invoicing and Inventory System. And Sally is driving me lost + people are pouring me with this and that. I am suffocating.. So this is what working life is like huh?
Anyway today I chat quite a lot in the office. I'd feel a lot more dull and sad and helpless if there ain't the talk.
Let's call it a day! Tomorrow I am going back to hometown!! One day trip^.^
Caught up information about Auction, Reverse Auction and SMS Auction, and able to print a 11-page information on the Invoicing and Inventory System. And Sally is driving me lost + people are pouring me with this and that. I am suffocating.. So this is what working life is like huh?
Anyway today I chat quite a lot in the office. I'd feel a lot more dull and sad and helpless if there ain't the talk.
Let's call it a day! Tomorrow I am going back to hometown!! One day trip^.^
Monday, January 14, 2008
14 JAN, MON, 7:40PM
他慢慢地安顿下来了。早餐在家、午晚餐在外，大概这会维持一段时间。
渐渐地他开始习惯这里的生活，陌生的阶梯、房间、走廊、饭厅、厨房、浴室、晒衣台，随着时间的流失，相信也会慢慢接受。外地的天空依旧照耀着相同的日光、洒着同样的雨、依偎在同个月光下，唯独面对全新的人事、全新的工作室、未知的展望。
已经在这一个多星期了，工作少许也有了些进展，跟公司的人也开始打成一片，还好，工作的繁忙的确让他忘却烦恼，忘却不该去想的问题。
他真的好累了。。哈。。如果有一快浮萍出现在他面前的话，可能他会毫不犹豫地狂游过去吧哈。。讲得容易，他可不是那么随便的！
面对静止的空气，凝视着冰冷的荧幕，脑袋中就响起了那悲伤的旋律。。
已经好远了 退。。也有点累了
但却不知道路多远 走到何时才歇一歇。。。
保重
渐渐地他开始习惯这里的生活，陌生的阶梯、房间、走廊、饭厅、厨房、浴室、晒衣台，随着时间的流失，相信也会慢慢接受。外地的天空依旧照耀着相同的日光、洒着同样的雨、依偎在同个月光下，唯独面对全新的人事、全新的工作室、未知的展望。
已经在这一个多星期了，工作少许也有了些进展，跟公司的人也开始打成一片，还好，工作的繁忙的确让他忘却烦恼，忘却不该去想的问题。
他真的好累了。。哈。。如果有一快浮萍出现在他面前的话，可能他会毫不犹豫地狂游过去吧哈。。讲得容易，他可不是那么随便的！
面对静止的空气，凝视着冰冷的荧幕，脑袋中就响起了那悲伤的旋律。。
已经好远了 退。。也有点累了
但却不知道路多远 走到何时才歇一歇。。。
保重
Saturday, January 12, 2008
12 JAN, SAT, 1:08PM
Woke up at 9 just now. After eating the meehoon Jude made for us, we left for BSB to clear of the rubbish. As for your information, you pay for the rubbish truck to clear of your "stuff". Your not paying then well, take care of them yourself. I was the one driving the Toyota Corolla 1.6. The routes are still very unfamiliar for me and sure enough, there were some roars inside the car lol... You can't simply pass the zebra-crossing without thinking cos if you hit people you are to be put at fault. Its different from Malaysia, zebra-crossing here really means "zebra-crossing"!
Upon reaching the office, and upon reaching the 1st floor, the 3 of us just started to ask each other who was holding the office key. Obviously, we need to head back with NQA. Ah.. things happen.
And now I am finally in the office surfing the internet with my own laptop for the first time. I am downloading naruto's latest episode. I am the only one outside while the other two are inside the small room. Tay is doing the programming while Jude has just gone out to buy a reload card. he is leaving anyway. Oh yea, in no time I would be all alone. Seems like Tay is going back to hometown after CNY. Ha.. its funny when I realise the whole bungalow will only be resided by a "me". Sure it would be a lot creepier but nah.. it'd be all good for me to chill my thought. I need time and space to clear my mind and think what I am gonna do in the future.
About the inner world. Erm.. it's just still a bit heart-aching lately. I am so selfish, sometimes i would think. Ha.. Believe in yourself really. What your thinking might not be what it is like.
Upon reaching the office, and upon reaching the 1st floor, the 3 of us just started to ask each other who was holding the office key. Obviously, we need to head back with NQA. Ah.. things happen.
And now I am finally in the office surfing the internet with my own laptop for the first time. I am downloading naruto's latest episode. I am the only one outside while the other two are inside the small room. Tay is doing the programming while Jude has just gone out to buy a reload card. he is leaving anyway. Oh yea, in no time I would be all alone. Seems like Tay is going back to hometown after CNY. Ha.. its funny when I realise the whole bungalow will only be resided by a "me". Sure it would be a lot creepier but nah.. it'd be all good for me to chill my thought. I need time and space to clear my mind and think what I am gonna do in the future.
About the inner world. Erm.. it's just still a bit heart-aching lately. I am so selfish, sometimes i would think. Ha.. Believe in yourself really. What your thinking might not be what it is like.
Friday, January 11, 2008
11 JAN, FRI, 18:11PM
There are many types of people I have met. Today I am so heartache. When you do something and others do not appreciate it, its like razor pierces right through your lung. Its the lung its not the heart. But anyway, I will try to be strong as, something sharper are likely to come in the future. So just take this as a pre-training. I will be strong enough in time.
There are times in life that we would feel sucks. But it will all over.
But still, today I am very happy to be able to catch a chat with C. What C replied brighten my day. Thanks C^^ Yea, one day I'd hope to go travel with you. And D starts to run into my life without any notice. Maybe working in foreign land is not too bad afterall. I hope so.
There are times in life that we would feel sucks. But it will all over.
But still, today I am very happy to be able to catch a chat with C. What C replied brighten my day. Thanks C^^ Yea, one day I'd hope to go travel with you. And D starts to run into my life without any notice. Maybe working in foreign land is not too bad afterall. I hope so.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
9 JAN, WED, 18:17PM
Today is the 3rd day I am working in Brunei.. Hmm.. Not too bad for a place to work though. The people are actually friendly and approachable JUST THAT, every cent you spend here have to be multiplied by 2.3.
Normal meal=B$3=RM6.60
Pretty scary yea? Try to imagine if you are ordering rice and coke.. Well the amount exceeds RM12 easily. Baiscally when your working here, you eat KFC/McDonald everyday ha... Anyway thanks to the allowance that is promised to feed your mouth (Should be sufficient enough I hope).
Being here for the 4th day (working for the 3rd day), I have touched on quite a lot of thing. But I have a dilema in me-- I am so afraid that I might not be able to catch up in my job. My another sales partner is leaving.. Thats the reason. And now, I am on my own.. *sigh*
Are you doing fine lately? How about daily routine? How about works? You just help yourself to be healthy.. That'd do me the favour.
Normal meal=B$3=RM6.60
Pretty scary yea? Try to imagine if you are ordering rice and coke.. Well the amount exceeds RM12 easily. Baiscally when your working here, you eat KFC/McDonald everyday ha... Anyway thanks to the allowance that is promised to feed your mouth (Should be sufficient enough I hope).
Being here for the 4th day (working for the 3rd day), I have touched on quite a lot of thing. But I have a dilema in me-- I am so afraid that I might not be able to catch up in my job. My another sales partner is leaving.. Thats the reason. And now, I am on my own.. *sigh*
Are you doing fine lately? How about daily routine? How about works? You just help yourself to be healthy.. That'd do me the favour.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
6 JAN, SUN, 9:43AM
交杂的心情仿佛在他心头压着块石头。。
原来他对这个地方、这里的人情、人事、这里的回忆还是那么的留恋、不舍。。
对于未来的日子来说，他不把持太大的希望，只希望能在寂寞的时候有个人关心他。
候鸟飞累了也想找个地方栖息；风吹尽了，也会想停滞在哪一点旋转。
有太多的不舍，有再多的话语，却永远无法对任何人倾诉。
因为咒语还生效，期限是------永恒。
6 JAN, SUN, 2:03AM
Finally I am leaving my home. I don't wanna make it very hard for mom that's why I didn't treat this leave as a very important thing. I will try to be home every week so that she wouldn't be so worry about me.
And ha.. Just dunno what is there in Brunei awaits me.. I hope I could get a kohibito also. If there really is, my apology to you ha..
For now, good night and sweet dream.. Till the next time I write again here.
And ha.. Just dunno what is there in Brunei awaits me.. I hope I could get a kohibito also. If there really is, my apology to you ha..
For now, good night and sweet dream.. Till the next time I write again here.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
5 JAN, SAT, 1:03AM
其实很多时候他就为了堵一口气而伤害了别人。
想了想，其实蒙骗自己去做一些伤害别人的事真的是件很傻的事，即损人不利己。他经过今天应该上了堂宝贵的课，就称之为《最笨的是欺骗自己》。
“对不起”与“谢谢”对一些人而言也许切齿难开，但对他已是家常便饭。他觉得大方的表达自己的感激及歉意永远是最明智的，他也相信，唯有真诚的心才能打动一个人！
而很多人都认为他们很了解他，可是却未必，答案莫过于他本人都无法真正了解自己。。
想了想，其实蒙骗自己去做一些伤害别人的事真的是件很傻的事，即损人不利己。他经过今天应该上了堂宝贵的课，就称之为《最笨的是欺骗自己》。
“对不起”与“谢谢”对一些人而言也许切齿难开，但对他已是家常便饭。他觉得大方的表达自己的感激及歉意永远是最明智的，他也相信，唯有真诚的心才能打动一个人！
而很多人都认为他们很了解他，可是却未必，答案莫过于他本人都无法真正了解自己。。
Friday, January 4, 2008
4 JAN, FRI, 3:22PM
I am feeling so damn sleepy and tired now. I haven't had enough sleep for the past few days because I am attracted to a webpage- The Sunny. Read a real experience from a person in China and the experience is around 80 pages long. I managed to finish it in one go because its just very interesting and thrilling and drawing too much of my nerves... Yea eventually I did benefit from the writer. At least there is a model to be taken in as reference. I am feeling disgust now but I am sure that in time, everything wold just be fine. When things gonna happen the way they should, nothing could get in their ways.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
3 JAN, THU, 19:49PM
《默默的付出》
一份耕耘一份收获这句名言有时令他很懊恼。。
因为他不了解为什么与结果、因为他不忿种瓜得瓜的道理。
频频的不忿究竟又换来什么？也还不是[公道]这个字眼么？！难道他必须一辈子背负[公道]么？
说时迟来时快啊。。就还剩下仅仅的三天了，然后他将展开另一端生命的旅程。
难道，真的不会不舍得吗？
口头上的豪爽是在欺骗着自己；而对旅程的期待何尝不是为了掩饰寂寞感嗯？
没办法啊，谁叫这是他必经的道路。跟他生命的马拉松比较，根本可称之为微不足道，因为在他的骨子里他深深清楚了解，他的生命并不简单。一而再而再而三的拖延、的束缚、的质疑、的不确定。。等，都让他耗尽了他的慧脑，绞尽脑汁，再也摸不着头绪了。
所以，他走了。
也许，这会是个长别。
生命的尽头近在咫尺，又有谁知？
生命的镜头也都被一层大雾遮隔了，朦胧一片。
他，也只能见步行一步了。
他别无所求，就只是衷心希望他爱的每一个人都健康，他就满足了。
一份耕耘一份收获这句名言有时令他很懊恼。。
因为他不了解为什么与结果、因为他不忿种瓜得瓜的道理。
频频的不忿究竟又换来什么？也还不是[公道]这个字眼么？！难道他必须一辈子背负[公道]么？
说时迟来时快啊。。就还剩下仅仅的三天了，然后他将展开另一端生命的旅程。
难道，真的不会不舍得吗？
口头上的豪爽是在欺骗着自己；而对旅程的期待何尝不是为了掩饰寂寞感嗯？
没办法啊，谁叫这是他必经的道路。跟他生命的马拉松比较，根本可称之为微不足道，因为在他的骨子里他深深清楚了解，他的生命并不简单。一而再而再而三的拖延、的束缚、的质疑、的不确定。。等，都让他耗尽了他的慧脑，绞尽脑汁，再也摸不着头绪了。
所以，他走了。
也许，这会是个长别。
生命的尽头近在咫尺，又有谁知？
生命的镜头也都被一层大雾遮隔了，朦胧一片。
他，也只能见步行一步了。
他别无所求，就只是衷心希望他爱的每一个人都健康，他就满足了。
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
2 JAN, WED, 11:18PM
I went to an elementary school around the outskirts of my city today. The reason, I have to accompany my sister for her report to the newly-designated school. Yea a teacher she is. The morning was dull but fortunately, as expected, this person messaged me and broke the loneliness in me. Ha.. But somehow I am like a walking corpse for the whole day for I was thinking about the same problem for the whole yesternight before this. The matter? That's not a secret but I am not gonna tell you lol.
I am moody now, no doubt, because I have made the decision again.
I go without turning my head is not because I am cruel or wanna show some elegance, but a mean of fleeing from the spot. I am tired to be bound by truth that's all.
I am moody now, no doubt, because I have made the decision again.
I go without turning my head is not because I am cruel or wanna show some elegance, but a mean of fleeing from the spot. I am tired to be bound by truth that's all.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
1 JAN, TUE, 7:18PM
Its been quite a busy day as my brother come and stay with me. Anyway we spent the whole morning and afternoon playing computer, devoted wholly to DoTA. Whilst, there is a grudge in me. I really don't wanna admit it but lol, it just very hard to endure.
I hope with my job in foreign land, I would be able to ease myself a bit. I will work hard and treat myself well. Save up money then I can go. Hope the plan is unchangeable by time.
Ha...
I hope with my job in foreign land, I would be able to ease myself a bit. I will work hard and treat myself well. Save up money then I can go. Hope the plan is unchangeable by time.
Ha...
1 JAN, TUE, 2:43AM
Tuesday 2AM, I am sitting here right awake.
Yea its a brand new year. Everybody thinks of the coming year, but what about the just-passed 2007? Nothing to be yearned huh? Ha.. Well In fact I have a lot.
Erm 2007.
One of the years to be most memorable. It's also my laziest year but it might be my happiest year in life, since I came to conscious. Yea.. too many memories, the good's and the bad's. Mixture of them make a better remembrance of the 2007. It's good to have some vivid moments so that you wouldn't forget about the year easily. But is it saddening because something is gonna change. I can't help it. I think I am not the one to be blamed for I have done my part.. But anyway, its just another mere-assumption haha..
So many things happened in 2007.
I created my first blog in my lifetime.
I graduated as a computer science student.
I started to work.
I met with great people.
I struggled with myself(though things still remain the same till now)
I made a bigger move in life.
I had be honest to myself.
I had had a very unforgettable affection towards people.
And how I have tried to come out of life, the nightmare.
They all happened for good that's how I think. And yea, sometimes I also do think like Aaron did that life still feels like a mass of dots, but eventually, likewise when you pull the books farther, its actually beautiful.. and funny.. and good. I am anticipating for that day, that PARTICULAR day to come. See you 2007.
The coming of 2008. Yea.. Let's see what could be happened this year.
Yea its a brand new year. Everybody thinks of the coming year, but what about the just-passed 2007? Nothing to be yearned huh? Ha.. Well In fact I have a lot.
Erm 2007.
One of the years to be most memorable. It's also my laziest year but it might be my happiest year in life, since I came to conscious. Yea.. too many memories, the good's and the bad's. Mixture of them make a better remembrance of the 2007. It's good to have some vivid moments so that you wouldn't forget about the year easily. But is it saddening because something is gonna change. I can't help it. I think I am not the one to be blamed for I have done my part.. But anyway, its just another mere-assumption haha..
So many things happened in 2007.
I created my first blog in my lifetime.
I graduated as a computer science student.
I started to work.
I met with great people.
I struggled with myself(though things still remain the same till now)
I made a bigger move in life.
I had be honest to myself.
I had had a very unforgettable affection towards people.
And how I have tried to come out of life, the nightmare.
They all happened for good that's how I think. And yea, sometimes I also do think like Aaron did that life still feels like a mass of dots, but eventually, likewise when you pull the books farther, its actually beautiful.. and funny.. and good. I am anticipating for that day, that PARTICULAR day to come. See you 2007.
The coming of 2008. Yea.. Let's see what could be happened this year.
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