Lately I am a bit down again. I think I am a person with several personalities. I am easily being annoyed, influenced and thrilled. But what's the point for me to stay like this?
Today, a very special event happened, and I NEVER expect it to happen.. B contacted me. I.. don't know what is this feeling, it's a mixture of happiness, disgust and irritation. I don't know. Maybe this is the reason why I am feeling so aweful now. Do I have to.. have to.. break this relationship once and for all? Or mend it up? The latter especially, is harder than I thought.
The major reason for the problem I am facing right now is because, I dunno what is the cause of the crisis in our relationship. I have no idea and I think B has no idea as well. It just.. fades away like that. Once, this is the relationship I would sacrifice everything for but now, I don't know whether I still have that enthusiasm to mend this broken relationship.. Maybe this is due to the appearance of L.
I feel like I don't want to get close to B anymore, because I know my heart is not strong enough to endure the impacts, one after another, that would come into my life in times. What I really need is very simple, serenity, tenderness, and reliability. I am once again being hurt.
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