22 DEC '12, SAT, 1:31PM

I'm so stupid haha.....

I don't know what to do myself, hey, do you read this?

What I can hope for is, you can get rid of that feeling. But I know it's not easy..

I am really really sorry, would you accept my apology?

I love you baby, and now for the second time when I am with you, I'm feeling heartache.

The first time was when I was down, you LC to me. That time it was really so demoralizing.. Though I know that you were joking, but I also suspect if that was your true self. I got over in few hours..

The second time is now, when I told you about my concern in long distance love, it messed you up, and it messed me up.. This is really my fault, really. I can't even smile now..

D, can we sort this out? I want to love you. I really do. I have been imagining about the future already- how we could end up in a place, our house, our room, and the sweet memories..

Do you know my problems now? I am actually a person who thinks too much, complicated! And secondly, I tend to utter what I think to other ppl, which makes people think like "a thousand pierces" in their heart. My sister told me this. But there is only one condition that I could do such thing to these people.. They will be people I love the most. Cos I want to be as honest as possible to them.

My sis Sonnie, when we were in quarrel once, she scolded me "你讲的话真的很有刺！"

Now I understand.. Though it is mild but its full of destructive power.. I'm wrong again D..

Do you want to know what are our "first's"?

You confessed to me, and I accepted. First time in life.

Talk on phone to a person almost every morning, noon and evening. First time in life.

I open up my eyes everyday, thinking of handphone and to drop you the first morning message if possible. First time in life.

We looked at each other in their eyes so dreamily, for the first time in my life.

I have somebody who uttered the real "I love you" to me, in my life. My first time in life.

We watched movie together, holding hands. First time in my life.

Someone do fetching for me, and I was holding his hand. First time in life.

Feeling such a heartache with your current situation, mixed feeling plus messed up mind. It's the first time in my life.

I'm sorry D. I do love you, really I'm. The heartache tells me so.. Please forgive me..