I foresee we might not be seeing each other anymore in the future with minimal communications.
Now that you have found someone you think he can last "forever" with you, there is no point for me to do something in pursuing you. It will only irritates you.
In fact, if you ask me one day why do I stop to communicate with you, my answer would be:
"If I am not getting reply upon a text, that means that you are not available or not in the mood to reply me. So if that is the case, I will be on the passive, and reply to what you text me first, isn't that better and won't irritate you?"
I know I have been demanding too much from you, and I am wrong. I shouldn't know you in the first place. I am very regret.
Till the day I can face you head's on, well.. I really don't know.
Life is but a laughable movie.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
15TH NOV '13, FRI, 2:57PM
I love you dearly.
You wore my cloth, you went to Station One (which you told me it was your first time), I am happy.
But when you said you are with a friend, I am sad. You were going for a late movie, and you texted me good night at 1am.
I was sad again.
In the morning I texted you for lunch at McD. You said you can't, and you just stopped to reply me, I was sad again.
My happiness and sadness are all about you. I smoke because of you, because it is too painful that, without smoking I would feel that I am suffocating.
Love you Dein..
You wore my cloth, you went to Station One (which you told me it was your first time), I am happy.
But when you said you are with a friend, I am sad. You were going for a late movie, and you texted me good night at 1am.
I was sad again.
In the morning I texted you for lunch at McD. You said you can't, and you just stopped to reply me, I was sad again.
My happiness and sadness are all about you. I smoke because of you, because it is too painful that, without smoking I would feel that I am suffocating.
Love you Dein..
Monday, November 11, 2013
Reminiscence - 10.11.13
Today I got the chance to be with you.
When I asked you out, you hesitated. But you agreed. You know Din, I want to give you everything I can afford.
I asked if you wanna have lunch, and you said you have to ask your mom. And your mom asked you to lunch outside. And so, I fetched you from your house, waiting anticipatively inside the car, imagining what would you be wearing.
Ah, white-green t-shirt with orange shorts with a flip-flop. And a blue hat. How cute ^^
You never stared at me inside the car, and I couldn't help myself to keep staring at you when I was driving. I knew you noticed, and may be you are shy to look at me.
We went to have late lunch at Station One upon arriving to Bintang. And beforehand, I bought us both entries to the restroom. I was trying my best to walk side-by-side with you. I wanted to let you know that despite of your race, I will always be standing by you. I wouldn't be shy; Ah well, maybe you were the one who was shy to walk side-by-side to me.
I order chicken rice with iced coffee, while you ordered lamb chop rice with iced chocolate. We sat inside the restaurant facing each other, as if we were a cute and unmatched couple. And thinking about that now makes me want to cry.
You didn't know how to use the cutlery, and I demonstrated to you over the table. And do you know that, you were so cute when you were trying to cut that chop. When you tasted a bit of my chicken soup, I was also very surprised and warm. For me, that's a boundary that I have made beyond together with you.
And you mentioned about watching Insidious 2, I anxiously but steadily reached for my phone and checked online for the ticket. 1750 Hours, last day of showing in a small room. You have agreed to watch with me, and you chose the row of seat at the back-most, center. You didn't know, I have already started to fantasize sitting beside you, leaning side by side, while holding your hands in the theatre.
We joked and chatted over the lunch, and went into the mall for some walks. Eventually I suggested to leave Bintang to somewhere else, and you agreed to that..
We went to Ming Cafe for a couples of drink. You ordered Vanilla Milk Shake and Chocolate Milk Shake. I ordered Paulaner and 100 plus. I took 2 cigarettes. We chatted for two hours. We talked on a lot of bold topics, and I found myself indulged in the atmosphere.
How on earth can I get more of this kinda chances to hang out with you.
We left Ming around 1715 Hours, and headed for Canada Hill. You went out to the hill side first, while waiting for me who went to restroom. I approached you from your back, and snapped pictures of you starring into the skies and city. And now that I recall, it was such a "shiawase" moment to be able to watch you from your back.
You requested my help to take some pictures, and also to take pictures together. I snapped professionally, wouldn't want to disappoint you. The pictures of us together, are so sweet. I think to myself. I wouldn't expect anyone to have the same feeling as I have, but I am contented, that moment.
After leaving Canada Hill, we returned to Bintang for Insidious 2. We were being cornered by people from our both sides. It was cold, you said that. Din, if there wasn't anyone, do you know I might hug you in my warm arms? Again, imaginations. We were sitting side by side, leaning against each other some times. I really like those feelings.
And so I know it is nearing the end of the day. I brought you for the dinner of the day nearby your house, and awkwardly sent you off from my car.
I gave you a green checker shirt that day. I wish you like that, truthfully. But I don't think you do.
Din, I have never felt so much in love before. I really hope you can be a part of my life. But you have never come across the idea.
For today, I am writing it down. My memory is deteriorating, and I am afraid to lose the tiniest bit of important details of you.
It is all you.
When I asked you out, you hesitated. But you agreed. You know Din, I want to give you everything I can afford.
I asked if you wanna have lunch, and you said you have to ask your mom. And your mom asked you to lunch outside. And so, I fetched you from your house, waiting anticipatively inside the car, imagining what would you be wearing.
Ah, white-green t-shirt with orange shorts with a flip-flop. And a blue hat. How cute ^^
You never stared at me inside the car, and I couldn't help myself to keep staring at you when I was driving. I knew you noticed, and may be you are shy to look at me.
We went to have late lunch at Station One upon arriving to Bintang. And beforehand, I bought us both entries to the restroom. I was trying my best to walk side-by-side with you. I wanted to let you know that despite of your race, I will always be standing by you. I wouldn't be shy; Ah well, maybe you were the one who was shy to walk side-by-side to me.
I order chicken rice with iced coffee, while you ordered lamb chop rice with iced chocolate. We sat inside the restaurant facing each other, as if we were a cute and unmatched couple. And thinking about that now makes me want to cry.
You didn't know how to use the cutlery, and I demonstrated to you over the table. And do you know that, you were so cute when you were trying to cut that chop. When you tasted a bit of my chicken soup, I was also very surprised and warm. For me, that's a boundary that I have made beyond together with you.
And you mentioned about watching Insidious 2, I anxiously but steadily reached for my phone and checked online for the ticket. 1750 Hours, last day of showing in a small room. You have agreed to watch with me, and you chose the row of seat at the back-most, center. You didn't know, I have already started to fantasize sitting beside you, leaning side by side, while holding your hands in the theatre.
We joked and chatted over the lunch, and went into the mall for some walks. Eventually I suggested to leave Bintang to somewhere else, and you agreed to that..
We went to Ming Cafe for a couples of drink. You ordered Vanilla Milk Shake and Chocolate Milk Shake. I ordered Paulaner and 100 plus. I took 2 cigarettes. We chatted for two hours. We talked on a lot of bold topics, and I found myself indulged in the atmosphere.
How on earth can I get more of this kinda chances to hang out with you.
We left Ming around 1715 Hours, and headed for Canada Hill. You went out to the hill side first, while waiting for me who went to restroom. I approached you from your back, and snapped pictures of you starring into the skies and city. And now that I recall, it was such a "shiawase" moment to be able to watch you from your back.
You requested my help to take some pictures, and also to take pictures together. I snapped professionally, wouldn't want to disappoint you. The pictures of us together, are so sweet. I think to myself. I wouldn't expect anyone to have the same feeling as I have, but I am contented, that moment.
After leaving Canada Hill, we returned to Bintang for Insidious 2. We were being cornered by people from our both sides. It was cold, you said that. Din, if there wasn't anyone, do you know I might hug you in my warm arms? Again, imaginations. We were sitting side by side, leaning against each other some times. I really like those feelings.
And so I know it is nearing the end of the day. I brought you for the dinner of the day nearby your house, and awkwardly sent you off from my car.
I gave you a green checker shirt that day. I wish you like that, truthfully. But I don't think you do.
Din, I have never felt so much in love before. I really hope you can be a part of my life. But you have never come across the idea.
For today, I am writing it down. My memory is deteriorating, and I am afraid to lose the tiniest bit of important details of you.
It is all you.
11TH NOV '13, MON, 1:55PM
I am writing this in memorial of our tickling seconds in life. Our togetherness.
It was a great moment to be with you yesterday, and throughout those seconds, I couldn't help myself but thinking of you, and thinking of how to make you laugh, and make you fall in love with me.
Though I know those would be to no avail, I knew that from the right beginning. But, I would still like to leave myself good memories of you till the end of my life.. :)
That's... simply because I am so in love with you, and I love you so much than you can imagine.
You once asked me, do I cry over a person I love. "I don't" was my answer, and it is still. The fact that I don't cry is not because I do not love you enough. I don't cry because I know I need to stand straight and be brave of my future. May be subconsciously I know that I won't be able to stop crying once I have started.
Nordin, I do love you, more than anybody else. Ha. You knew that I loved you, but I bet you never know that I still love you like ever, and like a crazy fella. You won't know that my heart is always at the verge of breaking apart; you never know that I wish so much to COL. You will never know.
Ha. Enough with the feeling expression. I would like to write what I should now.
It was a great moment to be with you yesterday, and throughout those seconds, I couldn't help myself but thinking of you, and thinking of how to make you laugh, and make you fall in love with me.
Though I know those would be to no avail, I knew that from the right beginning. But, I would still like to leave myself good memories of you till the end of my life.. :)
That's... simply because I am so in love with you, and I love you so much than you can imagine.
You once asked me, do I cry over a person I love. "I don't" was my answer, and it is still. The fact that I don't cry is not because I do not love you enough. I don't cry because I know I need to stand straight and be brave of my future. May be subconsciously I know that I won't be able to stop crying once I have started.
Nordin, I do love you, more than anybody else. Ha. You knew that I loved you, but I bet you never know that I still love you like ever, and like a crazy fella. You won't know that my heart is always at the verge of breaking apart; you never know that I wish so much to COL. You will never know.
Ha. Enough with the feeling expression. I would like to write what I should now.
Friday, November 1, 2013
1ST NOV '13, FRI, 9:06AM
今天遇到了你。
身在外面的你，感觉很陌生
第一次看见的你，是那么的温柔
看见你的笑，是多么的温馨
我们并非同族人，可是我们却彼此欣赏对方
我们的故事，有可能会开花成长吗？
我真的是个幸运的人。
身在外面的你，感觉很陌生
第一次看见的你，是那么的温柔
看见你的笑，是多么的温馨
我们并非同族人，可是我们却彼此欣赏对方
我们的故事，有可能会开花成长吗？
我真的是个幸运的人。
Monday, October 21, 2013
21ST OCT 13, MON, 11:17PM
Almost accepting the fact that I would have little chance with you, but I am still remaining a string. Because I love you still.
While for you Kin, it was great to be with you. And I hope you can change my life, and my painful corpse.
Choosing between the several, I wonder how things will turn out to be. I do believe that one man can love several persons at the same time, because of different qualities. But I also believe, only one will last with me forever, and eternally.
While for you Kin, it was great to be with you. And I hope you can change my life, and my painful corpse.
Choosing between the several, I wonder how things will turn out to be. I do believe that one man can love several persons at the same time, because of different qualities. But I also believe, only one will last with me forever, and eternally.
Monday, October 14, 2013
14TH OCT '13, MON, 11:04AM
It has been a couple of days (maybe a week of time) since I last texted you normally.
The grinding feeling in my heart has yet to be faded away.
After disabling the "Last Seen Time" in Whatsapps (which I did because of you), it eased me a little but..... This morning, when I in the first time saw you "Online", my heart again pounded hard.
Ahhh.. when will this feeling going to end.
I miss you, and yet I wish to give up on you; I want to cry, yet I am suffering in dry-eyes.
Come to think of it again, What I did these few months are mostly for your sake, because of you.. I started to take numerous supplements (of more than RM1500 in 4 months) and I started to do facial, I started to update my blog (and all are about you), I started to take more cigarettes, I started to drink more heavily, I started to act strange and tend to be more lonely, I used LINE and quitted it because of you, I disabled my Whatsapps "Last Seen Time".. I have spent RM900 for my dental problem because I am concern about my bad breath, I played Instagram more occasionally.. I started to listen to "A thousand years" repeatedly.. I also started to appreciate "Broken Wings" meaning.. I looked into our friend list, I tried and learn what you were doing (which really kill me many times).. Too much and too many to mention.
Why have I become like this.. And the reason is just because of wishing to have you..
Lord.. spare me in any way it deems right!!
The grinding feeling in my heart has yet to be faded away.
After disabling the "Last Seen Time" in Whatsapps (which I did because of you), it eased me a little but..... This morning, when I in the first time saw you "Online", my heart again pounded hard.
Ahhh.. when will this feeling going to end.
I miss you, and yet I wish to give up on you; I want to cry, yet I am suffering in dry-eyes.
Come to think of it again, What I did these few months are mostly for your sake, because of you.. I started to take numerous supplements (of more than RM1500 in 4 months) and I started to do facial, I started to update my blog (and all are about you), I started to take more cigarettes, I started to drink more heavily, I started to act strange and tend to be more lonely, I used LINE and quitted it because of you, I disabled my Whatsapps "Last Seen Time".. I have spent RM900 for my dental problem because I am concern about my bad breath, I played Instagram more occasionally.. I started to listen to "A thousand years" repeatedly.. I also started to appreciate "Broken Wings" meaning.. I looked into our friend list, I tried and learn what you were doing (which really kill me many times).. Too much and too many to mention.
Why have I become like this.. And the reason is just because of wishing to have you..
Lord.. spare me in any way it deems right!!
Friday, October 11, 2013
11TH OCT '13, FRI, 2:30PM
TGIF - Thank God It's Friday
Friday used to be a day I like the most. But nowadays it has somehow a day that I start to feel uneasy with.
Subsequent to Friday will be Saturday and Sunday. Two school holidays can meet a lot of people by you..
*Heartache...*
I have no idea since when, I have only been talking about you in my blog. No more other things pop in my mind for this only space of mine. Perhaps, this blog serves as a vault for the thing that I concern the most in my life/day.
Ah yes, you are the reason for my agony for these past months.
The Albino in Da Vinci Code says, "Pain is good.."
Well, I still don't enjoy it.. maybe yet to understand how to savour this special feeling.
Ah.. Pain is excruciating..
Friday used to be a day I like the most. But nowadays it has somehow a day that I start to feel uneasy with.
Subsequent to Friday will be Saturday and Sunday. Two school holidays can meet a lot of people by you..
*Heartache...*
I have no idea since when, I have only been talking about you in my blog. No more other things pop in my mind for this only space of mine. Perhaps, this blog serves as a vault for the thing that I concern the most in my life/day.
Ah yes, you are the reason for my agony for these past months.
The Albino in Da Vinci Code says, "Pain is good.."
Well, I still don't enjoy it.. maybe yet to understand how to savour this special feeling.
Ah.. Pain is excruciating..
Thursday, October 10, 2013
10TH OCT '13, THU, 12:45PM
I have stopped to contact you for the second days. And I really miss you, and those moments we were chatting happily, and when we had video call.
I don't know if I am ready to let you go Nordin.
Do you know why do I stop to be in contact with you?
.. For me, I feel like I am not appreciated.. The way you chatted with me was too basic? Should I use the word?
I feel like you find my presence a nuisance and unnecessary at times. And when you almost never initiate to greet me or chat with me, made me even more firm with my assumption.
May be my presence in your life, in the first place, is already a mistake. May be I should not have treated you as a bro from the first time we chat, resulting I am having too much of feeling to a "bro".
You never call me dear bro any longer, nor "muah" or "love you".. which you used to. Our distance has drawn so far, and you couldn't even notice that.
Nordin, you are a fantasy in my life. Maybe you are just a dream, and I wish I have never met you.
This morning I dreamed of you. In my dream you were a hotel attendant, in a nowhere place. I was the guest, and we met, we laughed and we were so closed. I was happy, until the moment I realised I was on my bed.
I really did not feel like waking up anymore..
I don't know if I am ready to let you go Nordin.
Do you know why do I stop to be in contact with you?
.. For me, I feel like I am not appreciated.. The way you chatted with me was too basic? Should I use the word?
I feel like you find my presence a nuisance and unnecessary at times. And when you almost never initiate to greet me or chat with me, made me even more firm with my assumption.
May be my presence in your life, in the first place, is already a mistake. May be I should not have treated you as a bro from the first time we chat, resulting I am having too much of feeling to a "bro".
You never call me dear bro any longer, nor "muah" or "love you".. which you used to. Our distance has drawn so far, and you couldn't even notice that.
Nordin, you are a fantasy in my life. Maybe you are just a dream, and I wish I have never met you.
This morning I dreamed of you. In my dream you were a hotel attendant, in a nowhere place. I was the guest, and we met, we laughed and we were so closed. I was happy, until the moment I realised I was on my bed.
I really did not feel like waking up anymore..
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
7TH OCT '13, TUE, 3:22PM
I am getting too tired.
If there is a slight chance, even if it is so slim that only I can see it, I would wait. But somehow it seems like, the chance is almost all gone.
You are no longer interested to chat with me, you reply me shortly and swiftly, and you have time to chat with other "unknown-to-me" for days.
My heart is all the time in pain..
Nordin, do you know, when you are telling people how humane you are, do you know I am also a human?
If there is a slight chance, even if it is so slim that only I can see it, I would wait. But somehow it seems like, the chance is almost all gone.
You are no longer interested to chat with me, you reply me shortly and swiftly, and you have time to chat with other "unknown-to-me" for days.
My heart is all the time in pain..
Nordin, do you know, when you are telling people how humane you are, do you know I am also a human?
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
2ND OCT '13, WED, 11:29AM
Actually it is quite hurtful, to know that you and him are still a pair of couple.
It is good, pain is good. Pain lets me be mature.
It is good, pain is good. Pain lets me be mature.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
1ST OCT '13, TUE, 8:55AM
期望太高，失望越大
我觉得我已经太过沉醉与跟你的交谈。因为喜欢你，你的话语都非常的有吸引力，牵着我的心。
可是我忘记了几件非常重要的事情，所以我要重新提醒自己。你，只把我当作哥哥。你有了男朋友，你还非常爱他。你，不会喜欢我。
看了你的Whatsapps状态，我希望我的心可以更痛，我才可以不再次坠入情网。
I've never been so scared of losing someone in my life, then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much to me as you do...
--Written 18 Days ago--
我觉得我已经太过沉醉与跟你的交谈。因为喜欢你，你的话语都非常的有吸引力，牵着我的心。
可是我忘记了几件非常重要的事情，所以我要重新提醒自己。你，只把我当作哥哥。你有了男朋友，你还非常爱他。你，不会喜欢我。
看了你的Whatsapps状态，我希望我的心可以更痛，我才可以不再次坠入情网。
I've never been so scared of losing someone in my life, then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much to me as you do...
--Written 18 Days ago--
Monday, September 30, 2013
30TH SEP '13, MON, 10:49AM
I think I am a pathetic creature... Only with your words of,
"I have something to tell you, but I am not ready yet"
I have moved.
I can't help it, but I am gonna think for thee worst case scenario. I mustn't be positive on this, else I am gonna got hurt..
But, I felt really shiawase when you asked me to call you in 2 consecutive days. I feel like THE LEAST, I am still somebody in your heart.
I will control my feeling to you.. I will try not to take too much hopes.
Love you. Dein.
"I have something to tell you, but I am not ready yet"
I have moved.
I can't help it, but I am gonna think for thee worst case scenario. I mustn't be positive on this, else I am gonna got hurt..
But, I felt really shiawase when you asked me to call you in 2 consecutive days. I feel like THE LEAST, I am still somebody in your heart.
I will control my feeling to you.. I will try not to take too much hopes.
Love you. Dein.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
15TH SEP '13, SUN, M03 PM
Nordin,
it has been quite sometime since I last saw you. I hope you are doing
fine. I wish I can give up on you soon.. I'm starting to delete your
memories with me. I always believe, everything happens for a reason.
Ciao good night dear, love you.
12TH SEP '13, THU, PM
Nordin, I felt so heartache when I knew that you have accepted others proposal to be your bf. And you didn't accept mine.
I
kinda accept the fact that you won't like the kind like me and with
that, I'm drawing myself out of the game. I love you too much, more than
I can imagine, hence I might not be contacting you for quite some time,
in order to forget you.
I
would like to let you know that I would really love to stay in touch
with you. I would like to have the chance to love you, shower you with
my love, taking care of you, having intimacy with you- IF ONLY I have
the chance..
You
are a wonderful incident which appears in my life. Besides blaming God
for not being fair to me for not having you, I really love the way God
met both of us. I feel happy and blessed when I'm with you. I'm feeling
myself to be complete everytime I'm with you. I feel myself like crying
when you are just beside me. That's the level of my love to you.
Nordin,
I'm offshore for few days. And I wish I can get rid of you in my life,
for a short period of time. I need to heal my broken-heart-to-pieces
heart. And I need to re-love somebody, if I can do that.
There
are simply too many things I have had in mine. There are just too many
thoughts I have had on you every single minutes. Right now (despite what
I'm saying before), I really hope you will have affection on me. Till
then, love you.
Monday, September 9, 2013
8 SEP '13, MON, 9:01AM
诺丁，我爱你爱得太深，也因此爱得好辛苦。
我好想大喊，也好想大哭……无奈我已经忘记了流泪的感觉。
我知道我的年纪不符合你，长相也不好看，只有一颗很爱你的心。可是我知道对你来说，那不足够……你追求的是一时的快感以及年轻的肌肤。
诺丁，我决定要暂时放弃你，让你到外面奔跑，直到有一天当你伤痕累累的时候，再也不想放逐自己的时候，我愿意包容你的一切，做你的终生伴侣。
因为，我是那么的爱你。
我好想大喊，也好想大哭……无奈我已经忘记了流泪的感觉。
我知道我的年纪不符合你，长相也不好看，只有一颗很爱你的心。可是我知道对你来说，那不足够……你追求的是一时的快感以及年轻的肌肤。
诺丁，我决定要暂时放弃你，让你到外面奔跑，直到有一天当你伤痕累累的时候，再也不想放逐自己的时候，我愿意包容你的一切，做你的终生伴侣。
因为，我是那么的爱你。
Sunday, September 1, 2013
1 SEP '13. SUB, 13:51PM
When you told me you are dating another man and you are in hotel. My heart has broken to pieces. Shattered around.
My body was immediately drained out of energy. I could barely lift my fingers.
My heart is so painful that I don't have words to describe.
If only you know how much do I love you, only then you might know how strong is the damage you have casted upon me.
I'm really tired, exhausted, disappointed a little... I wish to cry out loud, but my dignity does not allow me too..
Dear GOD, what have you arranged for me...
Will my broken wings be strong enough to carry me thru the bloody ocean?
My body was immediately drained out of energy. I could barely lift my fingers.
My heart is so painful that I don't have words to describe.
If only you know how much do I love you, only then you might know how strong is the damage you have casted upon me.
I'm really tired, exhausted, disappointed a little... I wish to cry out loud, but my dignity does not allow me too..
Dear GOD, what have you arranged for me...
Will my broken wings be strong enough to carry me thru the bloody ocean?
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
27 AUG '13, TUE, 11:55AM
I think it will be hard for me to fall in love for the time being, maybe it will last for quite some time...
You know why?
Because I care too much of you and I am still in contact with you. The only way out (I think) is one day you get yourself a BF, and I will be too despair, and give up on you...
Cheers. Everything happens for a reason. Ya.. though I am saying so, it still hurts that much.
Ciao.
You know why?
Because I care too much of you and I am still in contact with you. The only way out (I think) is one day you get yourself a BF, and I will be too despair, and give up on you...
Cheers. Everything happens for a reason. Ya.. though I am saying so, it still hurts that much.
Ciao.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
17 AUG '13, SAT, 11:06AM
"Stop loving that person or you will die in peril.. "
In airport now, feeling awful..
Once again I fell so deeply in love.. And it's hard for me to withdraw... Becos it's that person..
Only way is, find another person to love. To be in another relationship then only I can be freed from this awful feeling..
But I'm very reluctant to let you out of my mind.. I love you too much, too much to be true.
Ciao.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
愛得太遲
我過去 那死黨 早晚共對
各也紮職以後 沒法暢聚
而終於相約到 但無言共對 疏淡如水
日夜做 見爸爸 剛好想呻
卻霎眼 看出他 多了皺紋
而他的蒼老感 是從來未覺 太內疚擔心
最心痛是 愛是太遲
有些心意 不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮 忙忙忙其實自私
夢中也習慣 有壓力要我得志
最可怕是 愛需要及時
只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆 見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好
偏要推說等下一次
我也覺 我體質 彷似下降
看了症得到是 別要太忙
而影碟 都掃光 但從來未看 因有事趕
日夜做 儲的錢 都應該夠
到聖誕 正好講 跟我白頭
誰知她開了口 未能挨下去 已恨我很久
錯失太易 愛得太遲
我怎想到 她忍不到那日子
盲目地發奮 忙忙忙從來未知
幸福會掠過 再也沒法說鍾意
愛一個字 也需要及時
只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
為何未放肆 見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好
不要相信一切有下次
相擁我所愛又花幾多秒 這幾秒
能夠做到又有多少
未算少 足夠遺憾忘掉
多少抱憾 多少過路人
太懂估計 卻不懂愛錫自身
人人在發奮 想起他朝都興奮
但今晚未過 你要過也很吸引
縱不信運 你不過是人
理想很遠 愛於咫尺卻在等
來日別操心 趁你有能力開心
世界有太多東西發生
不要等到天上俯瞰
11 AUG '13, SUN, 10:19AM
I didn't know that I would once again love a person to this extend. I thought I would have forget about the feeling.
I'm going to confess.. Whatever the result would be, let's see..
I'm going to confess.. Whatever the result would be, let's see..
Saturday, August 10, 2013
A letter to you
Letter to You
I'm just too affected to you. The truthfulness and attitude (and everything) you portray have moved me. I.. really appreciate and treasure those moments you have created with me.
Somehow I got to know that you just would like to be my little bro. Nevertheless, my arms are always wide-opened for you, to listen to you and to give you advice. I am really gonna miss your presence in Miri. The fractions of memory will always be kept in my memory.
Sorry to create this uneasy feeling in you. Whatsoever, I will still forever be your loving bro. I'll also be always ready to attend to your boredom, sadness and happiness. I hope you will still treat me the same :")
It's good that I have finally let this out. Love you dear. Do always stay in touch like how we used to be okay. I love you.. Muah:")
p.s. You know, I am actually wearing sunglasses to utter you this. Cos it gives me the courage. Haha!
Written on 10-8-2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
6 AUG '13, TUE, 8:25AM
Yesterday was a day I was really happy.
Thanks Din, for making my day. How I wish you are mine..
If, I have the chance to be with you, I am ready to commit my wholelife of freedom to you.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will love you with all I can.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will nurture you into a very good and capable person.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will proudly bring you back to my house, and introduce to my family.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will teach you mandarin, and make you speak like a Chinese.
There are so many things I wish to do together with you, but our hearts are not together. I am loving you but you are loving others. And you never see me.
What I have just written, will be my dream. I shouldn't be hoping too much I know. Well then, let it be just a mild fantasy.
Love you.
Thanks Din, for making my day. How I wish you are mine..
If, I have the chance to be with you, I am ready to commit my wholelife of freedom to you.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will love you with all I can.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will nurture you into a very good and capable person.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will proudly bring you back to my house, and introduce to my family.
If, I have the chance to be with you, I will teach you mandarin, and make you speak like a Chinese.
There are so many things I wish to do together with you, but our hearts are not together. I am loving you but you are loving others. And you never see me.
What I have just written, will be my dream. I shouldn't be hoping too much I know. Well then, let it be just a mild fantasy.
Love you.
Friday, July 26, 2013
26 JUL '13, FRI, 8:35AM
Have been staggering for quite some time, waiting patiently for the one to appear.
And now with my wore-off body, I am throwing myself into the sea of works, family and friends.
These are all I am having right now, and I am making a conclusion that, it is really hard to get someone whom we love each other.
Staggering in life, towards an unwilling opened door.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming to be believed;
Knowing is heartache, pretending is foolish.
And now with my wore-off body, I am throwing myself into the sea of works, family and friends.
These are all I am having right now, and I am making a conclusion that, it is really hard to get someone whom we love each other.
Staggering in life, towards an unwilling opened door.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming to be believed;
Knowing is heartache, pretending is foolish.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
24 JUL '13, WED, 9:48AM
Went to KK few days back, and got to know a person by the same name as my EX.
I just realised I am totally sick of this person. That also indicates how disappointed and hurt I was the other day.
Why am I so negative this recently.. Hormone problem..?
I just realised I am totally sick of this person. That also indicates how disappointed and hurt I was the other day.
Why am I so negative this recently.. Hormone problem..?
24 JUL '13, WED, 9:44AM
Got very angry with the company.
Typical company: They don't see what you have been saving and thinking for them, and they will only suspect you, and eventually take it for real.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing -- Jessie J
Cool.
Well, I am not a complaining-type of person. But I will show it to you using my action. Really, have lost almost all respects towards the management.
Ciao!
Typical company: They don't see what you have been saving and thinking for them, and they will only suspect you, and eventually take it for real.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing -- Jessie J
Cool.
Well, I am not a complaining-type of person. But I will show it to you using my action. Really, have lost almost all respects towards the management.
Ciao!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
16 JUL '13, TUE, 8:31AM
The old house has been sold. My memories for 20 over years.
My room, my kitchen, my writing tables, the ceiling fans, the window panes, the tiles, the flowers, grass and trees.
I miss you all. I want to cry but I won't, because I need to support the rest of my family. Because I am the man of steel in the family. I cannot shake. I must be the one to support their shaky emotions.
And I don't think I am gonna live a long life, at least that's how I think.
When people ask me about life, I really want to laugh out loud. My answer would be, it is an endurance for all the odds, and the enjoyment for all the normal.
Live life to the fullest. We never have a second time.
My room, my kitchen, my writing tables, the ceiling fans, the window panes, the tiles, the flowers, grass and trees.
I miss you all. I want to cry but I won't, because I need to support the rest of my family. Because I am the man of steel in the family. I cannot shake. I must be the one to support their shaky emotions.
And I don't think I am gonna live a long life, at least that's how I think.
When people ask me about life, I really want to laugh out loud. My answer would be, it is an endurance for all the odds, and the enjoyment for all the normal.
Live life to the fullest. We never have a second time.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
12 JULY '13, THU, 2:16PM
Again and again, I am being turned down..
I wonder where are you now, my ONE.
Getting tired to fall in love because I am getting tired to be turned down.
Salx, thanks for the wonderful memories you have shared with me, though they are all just drinking over the table.
I wonder where are you now, my ONE.
Getting tired to fall in love because I am getting tired to be turned down.
Salx, thanks for the wonderful memories you have shared with me, though they are all just drinking over the table.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
3 JUL '13, WED, 8:19AM
I really appreciate you Zhe.
Though we are so much apart, age and distance, we are so closed to each other. We must always be like this.
Be strong, you are on the right track of life, unlike me ha... :")
Though we are so much apart, age and distance, we are so closed to each other. We must always be like this.
Be strong, you are on the right track of life, unlike me ha... :")
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
2 JUL '13, TUE, 11:44AM
Sometimes, life is just full with surprises
Unpredictable, sudden.
K. Hong, seems like you have left me. I don't know how to put this but, it is really wonderful to have you in my life.
Though we cannot be some special persons in life, but hopefully we can remain a genuine kind of friendship.
Love you : )
Unpredictable, sudden.
K. Hong, seems like you have left me. I don't know how to put this but, it is really wonderful to have you in my life.
Though we cannot be some special persons in life, but hopefully we can remain a genuine kind of friendship.
Love you : )
Sunday, June 30, 2013
SUN, 30 JUN '13, 12:28AM
I am loving several persons at one time, is it something very bad?
I hate the way, all of them have people whom they love. Why am I still falling for them?
Nor
Nat
Jim
Why..? Either one, I'm willing to spend my whole life for them..
I hate the way, all of them have people whom they love. Why am I still falling for them?
Nor
Nat
Jim
Why..? Either one, I'm willing to spend my whole life for them..
Monday, June 10, 2013
10 JUN '13, MON, 3:38PM
It is a complicated feeling
It is a complicated scenario
It is a complicated and incomprehensible flow of incidents
When nobody likes you, then everyone ignores you
When the flow comes, then everyone messages you
When the things sustain, eventually the things gone
And everything will start again, and again, and again
Now, my life is filled with these people-
LKH
N A
J C
D G
Why..? All of a sudden...?
It is a complicated scenario
It is a complicated and incomprehensible flow of incidents
When nobody likes you, then everyone ignores you
When the flow comes, then everyone messages you
When the things sustain, eventually the things gone
And everything will start again, and again, and again
Now, my life is filled with these people-
LKH
N A
J C
D G
Why..? All of a sudden...?
Saturday, May 4, 2013
4 MAY '13, SAT, 9:56AM
The day is about to arrive, the history could have a big entry for tomorrow.
05-05-2013, the 13th of General Election of Malaysia. Few of the important highlights are:-
1. Considered one of the dirtiest GE, which dirty tactics are being exercised by BN
2. The strongest competition ever
3. The most expensive GE ever
The opposition might not turn out to be good, but they could turn out to be good. But BN can never turn out to be clean.
05-05-2013, the 13th of General Election of Malaysia. Few of the important highlights are:-
1. Considered one of the dirtiest GE, which dirty tactics are being exercised by BN
2. The strongest competition ever
3. The most expensive GE ever
The opposition might not turn out to be good, but they could turn out to be good. But BN can never turn out to be clean.
Friday, May 3, 2013
3 MAY '13, FRI, 3:26PM
现在这个时刻很渴望爱情呢
到底谁会是我生命中的第二个呢？可能的话，我只希望有最后一个了。我们可以共同建筑梦想、一起达致目标、共同进退、一起生活、每天晚上都一起睡觉……
有一个情人，感觉一定很好的吧？
目前最想在一起的，可是身在遥远地方的你。我也讨厌你为什么多的那么远。可是没有权利那样讨厌你，因为我都不知道你会不会喜欢我。
好想好好的安顿下来。
到底谁会是我生命中的第二个呢？可能的话，我只希望有最后一个了。我们可以共同建筑梦想、一起达致目标、共同进退、一起生活、每天晚上都一起睡觉……
有一个情人，感觉一定很好的吧？
目前最想在一起的，可是身在遥远地方的你。我也讨厌你为什么多的那么远。可是没有权利那样讨厌你，因为我都不知道你会不会喜欢我。
好想好好的安顿下来。
Monday, March 25, 2013
25 MAR '13, MON, 11:58AM
生命中太多的过客
K，偶尔我还是忍不住偷看手机里面子书中，聊天网友表的你。看你越来越憔悴。
Z，我摸不着你，可是我的确想念你。
D，对你当然越来越放得下，可是我还是想看你健康快乐。
S，对于你我真的不了解为什么还经常跟你闹在一起。有你真好。
我真的是一个感情丰富的男人呢，为什么可以一次喜欢那么多的人，然后有没有对任何一个人有多余的奢望。
我好奇怪。
我也累了，很想赶快变得有钱，然后照顾更多的人。
那就是我的梦想。
K，偶尔我还是忍不住偷看手机里面子书中，聊天网友表的你。看你越来越憔悴。
Z，我摸不着你，可是我的确想念你。
D，对你当然越来越放得下，可是我还是想看你健康快乐。
S，对于你我真的不了解为什么还经常跟你闹在一起。有你真好。
我真的是一个感情丰富的男人呢，为什么可以一次喜欢那么多的人，然后有没有对任何一个人有多余的奢望。
我好奇怪。
我也累了，很想赶快变得有钱，然后照顾更多的人。
那就是我的梦想。
25 MAR '13, MON, 11:48AM
Initially planned for a trip with a friend to Hatyai this coming April. But due to my unavailability, I need to call for a cancellation for the trip.
My friend complained to me, saying that he wants to postpone the trip. When I said the modification fee for those tickets is more expensive than the original price. I suggested that maybe we need to cancel the trip.
Of course he is infuriated. He is asking for compensation for the next trip. Eventually I have offered that I will compensate for this loss monetarily. I am gonna refund the full amount of his ticket to him, not owing him anything.
FYI:
1. He suggested in the first place for a trip
2. I made the booking, he gave opinion
3. I paid using my credit card, and he paid me $25 lesser than the ticket real price
4. I checked for the amendment T&C
5. I went to local office and checked on net for his requests
6. I spent my working hours for his restless requests
7. I got blamed by him, and he Blocked me.
I am just thinking. I have apologized and I have offered to compensate, because I treasure this friendship. If you really think that I am being very unreasonable and rude in writing, then let's just give up on this friendship.
My friend complained to me, saying that he wants to postpone the trip. When I said the modification fee for those tickets is more expensive than the original price. I suggested that maybe we need to cancel the trip.
Of course he is infuriated. He is asking for compensation for the next trip. Eventually I have offered that I will compensate for this loss monetarily. I am gonna refund the full amount of his ticket to him, not owing him anything.
FYI:
1. He suggested in the first place for a trip
2. I made the booking, he gave opinion
3. I paid using my credit card, and he paid me $25 lesser than the ticket real price
4. I checked for the amendment T&C
5. I went to local office and checked on net for his requests
6. I spent my working hours for his restless requests
7. I got blamed by him, and he Blocked me.
I am just thinking. I have apologized and I have offered to compensate, because I treasure this friendship. If you really think that I am being very unreasonable and rude in writing, then let's just give up on this friendship.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
11 MAR '13, MON, 10:53AM
我终于又失去对于爱情的渴望了
我真的不明白为什么会这样…… 爱情啊爱情，难道你我真的分隔这么远吗？
现在的我---
没有心痛、没有饥渴、没有欲望、没有很爱很爱的人（有，可是太遥远，所以大概不可能）。
我现在最想做的事情是……赚钱、喝酒、出门、睡觉
哈……
我真的不明白为什么会这样…… 爱情啊爱情，难道你我真的分隔这么远吗？
现在的我---
没有心痛、没有饥渴、没有欲望、没有很爱很爱的人（有，可是太遥远，所以大概不可能）。
我现在最想做的事情是……赚钱、喝酒、出门、睡觉
哈……
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
6 MAR '13, WED, 7:21AM
有阔别了好一段时间
最近有点累，因为时间编排得满满的
最近有点累，因为喝酒又抽烟
最近有点累，因为没有爱情的迹象
最近有点累，因为工作必须要拼
最近有点累
原来是不是，人还是要消极一下，好找到平衡。
最近有点累……哈哈哈哈
最近有点累，因为时间编排得满满的
最近有点累，因为喝酒又抽烟
最近有点累，因为没有爱情的迹象
最近有点累，因为工作必须要拼
最近有点累
原来是不是，人还是要消极一下，好找到平衡。
最近有点累……哈哈哈哈
Monday, February 25, 2013
25 FEB '13, MON, 8:33AM
新年终于结束了
现在一切都可以重新开始了。
也算了吧，过去的就过去了，接着下来的日子还苦得很呢，没有时间去慢慢地回想。
我读了一些文章，也开始释怀了。原来对于爱情，我是那么的脆弱。
对于你有万般的不舍，很怀念，可是当我想到你连给我一封信息都不愿意时，我想答案已经在明显不过了。
我决定不会再踏入你的生命，因为更适合我的人已经在等着我了。
祝福你，幸福快乐。
现在一切都可以重新开始了。
也算了吧，过去的就过去了，接着下来的日子还苦得很呢，没有时间去慢慢地回想。
我读了一些文章，也开始释怀了。原来对于爱情，我是那么的脆弱。
对于你有万般的不舍，很怀念，可是当我想到你连给我一封信息都不愿意时，我想答案已经在明显不过了。
我决定不会再踏入你的生命，因为更适合我的人已经在等着我了。
祝福你，幸福快乐。
Friday, February 22, 2013
22 FEB '13, FRI, 1:17PPM
Yesterday and today am in Bintulu. It has been boring..
有点累，因为工作不是很顺利，对自己要求东西的人又格外的多。
可能这些都是感情害的吧，不知道哎！
我的感情生活距离今天恰恰好两个月，也已经完全接受，接着是不忿，最后是放下。我们做不成情侣，没想到连朋友都难做下去了……果然。
幸好有你的出现，缓和了我的悲痛。你知道是谁吗？就是你。
有点累，因为工作不是很顺利，对自己要求东西的人又格外的多。
可能这些都是感情害的吧，不知道哎！
我的感情生活距离今天恰恰好两个月，也已经完全接受，接着是不忿，最后是放下。我们做不成情侣，没想到连朋友都难做下去了……果然。
幸好有你的出现，缓和了我的悲痛。你知道是谁吗？就是你。
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
18 FEB '13, MON, 8:19AM
Back to work.
Been having the happiest CNY I have ever had, I love you all my parents, sisters and brother. Without your presence this CNY, it wouldn't be so fine, so delicate!
Today is the first day of working. My Lunar Calendar New Year Resolution would be:-
- To have RM100k of sales incentive this year
- To clear off my personal loan this year
- To save RM50k for house renovation
- To install aircond in the living room, and to extend the roof for the house
- To take leave during June for family gathering
- To drink and smoke less
- To be smarter in works, work smart but not hard (Trying on this)
- To settle the car maintenance problems
- To start to jog for at least twice in a week!
- To be more attractive and lengcai as a man ahahahah!
Love you, all the people who are still in the walks of my lives. Thanks for the care, help, advice, challenges, love, text, call etc.
Been having the happiest CNY I have ever had, I love you all my parents, sisters and brother. Without your presence this CNY, it wouldn't be so fine, so delicate!
Today is the first day of working. My Lunar Calendar New Year Resolution would be:-
- To have RM100k of sales incentive this year
- To clear off my personal loan this year
- To save RM50k for house renovation
- To install aircond in the living room, and to extend the roof for the house
- To take leave during June for family gathering
- To drink and smoke less
- To be smarter in works, work smart but not hard (Trying on this)
- To settle the car maintenance problems
- To start to jog for at least twice in a week!
- To be more attractive and lengcai as a man ahahahah!
Love you, all the people who are still in the walks of my lives. Thanks for the care, help, advice, challenges, love, text, call etc.
Friday, February 8, 2013
8 FEB '13, FRI, 10:17AM
=== IN LABUAN ===
Seems like you are having a hard time. Are you doing fine?
Miss you still.
Happy Chinese New Year. Always remember, "The Law of Attractions". Don't give up with life.
Seems like you are having a hard time. Are you doing fine?
Miss you still.
Happy Chinese New Year. Always remember, "The Law of Attractions". Don't give up with life.
Monday, February 4, 2013
4 FEB '13, MON, 1:16AM
I notice the older I get, the more stubborn and bad-tempered I have become. Also have become ego with stupid principles.
Today I messed up with a friend of mine. Well I don't care anymore. If you think that I am like this then be it. I was only being cautious to myself.
Lately I don't know what to write in this blog anymore. But just feeling like dropping some words here, to keep the blog alive. Afterall it has been with me for more than 5 years.
Time flies.
Thinking back, I have loved so many people. And none ends up to be my lover. While the one that became my lover for a month, and met for once, broke up with me with some words from me. Funny.
Really really don't feel like falling in love anymore. Being single and virgin forever, how's that sound? LOL
To be frank, really no urge in sex. Why? I don't get it.
My new year resolution: Secure more sales than ever, and then renovate my current family house, and buy myself a small house, renovating it into a top-class mini world.
Come to think about it, what other dreams do I have?? I really have no idea.
Today I messed up with a friend of mine. Well I don't care anymore. If you think that I am like this then be it. I was only being cautious to myself.
Lately I don't know what to write in this blog anymore. But just feeling like dropping some words here, to keep the blog alive. Afterall it has been with me for more than 5 years.
Time flies.
Thinking back, I have loved so many people. And none ends up to be my lover. While the one that became my lover for a month, and met for once, broke up with me with some words from me. Funny.
Really really don't feel like falling in love anymore. Being single and virgin forever, how's that sound? LOL
To be frank, really no urge in sex. Why? I don't get it.
My new year resolution: Secure more sales than ever, and then renovate my current family house, and buy myself a small house, renovating it into a top-class mini world.
Come to think about it, what other dreams do I have?? I really have no idea.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
31 JAN '13, THU, 12:00AM
In fact I still miss you. Though I might have forgotten about you when I am busy and occupied.
These days I have been drinking so much, is it because of you?
But it is still funny when I think back that, words from a drunkard's mouth would lead our relationship to an ending.
I know you do not love me anymore. So it is time to move on maybe, when my heart is strong enough, perhaps.
These days I have been drinking so much, is it because of you?
But it is still funny when I think back that, words from a drunkard's mouth would lead our relationship to an ending.
I know you do not love me anymore. So it is time to move on maybe, when my heart is strong enough, perhaps.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
FW: Lim Guan Eng's speech - EXCELLENT!;
Forewords from Steve:
Firstly I apologize for forwarding to everyone, as I do not have time to go through my list one by one.
Please read if you are a Malaysian. For the country, we need to have a mutual understanding and then a mutual goals.
I love Malaysia.
Regards,
Steve
Firstly I apologize for forwarding to everyone, as I do not have time to go through my list one by one.
Please read if you are a Malaysian. For the country, we need to have a mutual understanding and then a mutual goals.
I love Malaysia.
Regards,
Steve
Lim Guan Eng's speech - WELL WRITTEN!
Since Merdeka, two million Malaysians have migrated overseasbecause they do not see a future for themselves and for Malaysia. It istime that we don't live in our past that is filled with hatred and fear.We should look to the future filled with hope and harmony betweenall Malaysians.
To put the past behind us, we must stop the politics of race and religion.
To put the past behind us, we must end corruption.
To put the past behind us, we must abolish the suppression, oppression, repression of our basic human rights and freedoms.
To put the past behind us, we must demand good governance and performance from our ministers.
To attain peace Malaysians must stand united and reject those who wish to divide us by preaching racial and religious hatred.If we want to benefit from equal opportunities and realize our human potential we must stop extremists from continually degrading others as inferiors so as to uplift ourselves.Why should Allah not be allowed to be used in the Bible when it is used in the Middle East?
We can only achieve harmony together.Despite our differences and diversity, Malaysians can make our common aspirations of freedom, justice, democracy and truthcome true if we remember key values.
That it is not who we are that is important, but what we are that is important; not the colour of our skin that is important but thecontent of our character; and not our past ancestry that is important but how we connect with the present and with each other to face the future.
We can only be prosperous together.The time has come to focus on the economy, in employment, education and business opportunities as the conditions for prosperity.
We must build human talent and be performance-based.
For those who say that PR do not know how to govern, the 4 PR states of Penang, Selangor, Kedah and Kelantan have proven ourability by beating the other 10 BN states by attracting RM25 billion in investments comprising 53% of Malaysia's total investments ofRM47.2 billion in 2010. For the first time in history, Penang is now the new champion of investments in Malaysia, coming out top in 2010with RM 12.2 billion.
To put the past behind us, we must end corruption.
Barisan Nasional cannot reform to end corruption.Remember, if we do not end corruption, Malaysia dies.If we end corruption, BN dies.The choice is clear.
To put the past behind us, we must abolish the suppression, oppression, repression of our basic human rights and freedom.How can we have a clean government when we do not have clean elections?
We do not want our children to live in fear of oppressive laws as we have lived.A Pakatan Rakyat government will abolish the UUCA, the Sedition Act and the Printing Presses and Publications Act and restore local government elections.
When can we find justice for Teoh Beng Hock, Ahmad Sarbani and A Kugan?When will we have Freedom of Information & Freedom of Speech? When can we have justice that is not only done, but is seen to be done.
To put the past behind us, we demand good governance and performance from our ministers.
Malaysia can be an international and intelligent country.We must have digital intelligence with broadband connectivity.We must also have integrity intelligence, so ensure that only honest people are the decision-makers.We must have institutional intelligence under the rule of law.We demand good governance and performance from our ministers.
Has the Transport Ministry done its duty to run our airports and seaports well?Look at the Penang International Airport whose completion has been delayed more than 3 times.
And the Penang Port is to be reduced to be a feeder port and privatized to a 3rd party at the expense of Penangites.Why is there no consultation with the people of Penang to restore the port to its former glory?Instead of looking after airports and ports, the Transport Ministry is more interested in vehicle registration numbers and wants to increase
the maximum traffic fines to RM2,000.
Director-General of Tourism is wrongly charged of corruption but the Tourism Minister finds nothing wrong with spending RM1.8 million in doing up her Facebook page, when we all know that it can be done for free.
The Health Ministry wants to privatise healthcare when it should be a public good given as an affordable right to all Malaysians.Why allow the wastage of public funds and affect the quality and affordability of drugs when drugs are bought through a middleman athigher prices when it could be bought cheaper direct from the manufacturers, some of which are operating in Malaysia.
The Housing and Local Government Ministry opposes local government elections in Penang, denying our fundamental democraticright to elect our councillors and our mayors.
We believe that Malaysians deserve better. For the last 50 years, the wealth of the nation has been robbed. Let us protect the future of ourchildren by ensuring we have a people-centric government that protects you instead of harming you, that rewards you instead ofstealing from you, that respects you instead of abusing your rights.Let us clean up Malaysia to save our children's future.
We must put the past behind us where profits matters more than our health. Lynas concerns all of us because if Lynas is allowed tooperate, Barisan Nasional will proceed with building two nuclear reactors. If we continue to put health above profits, what is the use ofhaving all the money in the world if you cannot enjoy it healthily?
The next elections shall be fought on the economy. We refuse to allow BN to use race as the issue in the next elections.We need to increase the incomes of our poor or else they will fall victims to the Ah Longs.For example, Bank Negara's Annual Report 2010 revealed that Malaysia's household debt at the end of 2010 was RM581 billion or76 per cent of GDP, thus giving us the dubious honour of having thesecond-highest level of household debt in Asia.
In addition, the Malaysian household debt service ratio stood at 47.8 per cent in 2010, meaning that nearly half of the average family'sincome goes to repaying debts. As a rule, banks would not lend money to those whose total servicing of loans exceeded one third of their income.In other words, we are spiralling into an indebted nation.
According to the New Economic Model documents, the bottom 40% of Malaysian households are living with a monthly average income of RM1,500 (and three-quarters of them are bumiputera) while 60% of the households (of four persons averagely) live with a less than RM3,000 income, which is near subsistence if one lives in the cities.
These are families living in fear. We will help them live with dignity and not in fear, by increasing their incomes and cutting down their costs, with a minimum wage, getting rid of monopolies, expanding internet connectivity and encouraging creativity, innovation and productivity.
South Korea is a very good example of a nation that chose democracy, performance and freedom of opportunity to become a developed country. With a population of 48 million, its GDP per capita of USD20,000 is more than double Malaysia's. But in 1970, South Korea's per capita GDP was only USD260 compared to Malaysia's USD380. We used to regularly beat South Korea at football. And now our children are fans of K-pop culture and their football team are regulars at the World Cup.
Only when we free ourselves of fear of change, can we be free to prosper. BN cannot change.
They need to be changed, for BN wants to rule by fear.
Thomas Jefferson has said "When the governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny". The choice is yours, my friends. I urge you - Let us change so we can have liberty and live with dignity.
*Lim Guan Eng, DAP Secretary General & MP for Bagan
Please remember, by 7th level this email will reach 1 million people and that is only when each of us forward it to 10 people
Please do it for the sake of our future. This is a good deed that all Malaysians MUST DO. It is our duty to save our nation.
You are going to save 28 million people. Please do so.
TOGETHER, WE ALL CAN MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN !!!
Please send this to 10 other relatives or friends and ask them to do the same to 10 of their friends and so on.By so doing we are enlisting the power of multilevel marketing.
Yes the math works and it is awesome.By the 7th level this message would reach 1,000,000 people.Yes we can make our vote count!Better believe it!!We owe it to ourselves and to our children.If you'd like to forward this email, please use only Bcc & delete my email address. Thanks.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
20TH JAN '13, SUN, 3:23PM
Today is almost the 1 month anniversary of our last cold war. It was in 21st December haha :")
I am fortunate to have met you in life.
I am fortunate to have met you in life.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
15 JAN '12, TUE, 12:01AM
已经好累了
退也有一点累了
我们都不知道路多远
走到何时才歇一歇
不如就现在吧
让我们都停下
但是在休息后
我们就不知道继续走的理由
雨都停了
天都亮了
自己都不懂
这爱情路究竟带着我到什么地方
是要继续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我的确是有一点疲倦
《不懂》林俊杰
退也有一点累了
我们都不知道路多远
走到何时才歇一歇
不如就现在吧
让我们都停下
但是在休息后
我们就不知道继续走的理由
雨都停了
天都亮了
自己都不懂
这爱情路究竟带着我到什么地方
是要继续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我的确是有一点疲倦
《不懂》林俊杰
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
7 JAN '13, MON, 12:45PM
No appetite for lunch now, as everything is moody.
Lost RM250 for friend's flight ticket..
Lost RM280 for a bottle of Green Label..
Lost RM237 for a flight ticket duplication...
RM800.. POOOOFFFF! lol
I gonna earn more money if not I wouldn't be able to cover for my mistakes and commitments.
Lost RM250 for friend's flight ticket..
Lost RM280 for a bottle of Green Label..
Lost RM237 for a flight ticket duplication...
RM800.. POOOOFFFF! lol
I gonna earn more money if not I wouldn't be able to cover for my mistakes and commitments.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
6 JAN '13, SUN, 10:08PM
期盼着你主动的联系，可是没有。。
可能你对我完全失去兴趣了。看到你面子书写的，会否是给我的，我也已经不知道了。
你“喜欢”的贴子，说了“打电话”的那个，看来可能不是给我的。
越来越失望啦。心好痛，可是还是想给你机会，没有的话，我就继续我的人生啦。
可能你对我完全失去兴趣了。看到你面子书写的，会否是给我的，我也已经不知道了。
你“喜欢”的贴子，说了“打电话”的那个，看来可能不是给我的。
越来越失望啦。心好痛，可是还是想给你机会，没有的话，我就继续我的人生啦。
6 JAN '12, SUN, 2:15PM
Have parted the blog for 4 days. Had a strong urge to post 1 or 2 entries when I was in Bintulu 2-3 days ago, but didn't have the chance. The feeling was strong, especially on the 4th.
It is been quite some time, and I am numb today. Dunno why.
Many commitment lately by the way, I don't know how long can I sustain. I gotta earn more money by looking into other opportunities. Thanks to McOcean for giving me this pressure.
They are right, "Everything happens for a reason".
It is been quite some time, and I am numb today. Dunno why.
Many commitment lately by the way, I don't know how long can I sustain. I gotta earn more money by looking into other opportunities. Thanks to McOcean for giving me this pressure.
They are right, "Everything happens for a reason".
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
1 JAN '13, TUE, 3:05PM
Flashing through my old computer folders and files, there are so many memories which I have long abandoned and forgotten.
Thanks to today, I got to recall what I have left behind. Finding those memories and touches of life will make myself stronger this year.
Have also posted 2 entries before this post.
The former talks about my childhood, my family, my interest and my feeling. I was 24 when I wrote those.
The latter are 3 stories which I have collected for more than 5 years, and I love them so much.
Leave, tree and wind. I wonder which one is me.
Thanks to today, I got to recall what I have left behind. Finding those memories and touches of life will make myself stronger this year.
Have also posted 2 entries before this post.
The former talks about my childhood, my family, my interest and my feeling. I was 24 when I wrote those.
The latter are 3 stories which I have collected for more than 5 years, and I love them so much.
Leave, tree and wind. I wonder which one is me.
葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留
----樹----
會叫樹的原因，是因為我擅長畫水彩畫，最愛畫樹，久而久之，我的畫作右下方索性以一棵樹來代表我。
高中三年交過五個女朋友，有一個女孩子，我很愛她，卻遲遲不敢追，她沒有美麗的面孔，沒有姣好的身材，沒有撩人的魅力，一個再平凡不過的女孩子。我喜歡她，真的真的很喜歡她，喜歡她的單純，她的直率，她的可愛，她的智障，她的脆弱。
不追她的原因，也許是潛意識覺得平凡如她配不上我；也許是因為怕在一起後，一切的好感都會消失；也許是怕外人的指指點點傷害了她；也許是覺得，她會是我的，不用急著為了她而放棄一切。
最後這個原因，讓她陪了我三年，讓她看著我和別的女孩子廝混了三年，讓她心痛了三年。
她很想當一個好演員，但我卻像一個嚴苛的導演。我和第二個女朋友在廁所接吻，被她撞見，她尷尬的笑笑說：「Go on！」然後跑掉，第二天，她眼睛腫得跟核桃一樣，我故意不去猜想是誰讓她哭成這樣，嘲笑了她一天，她在所有人都回家後，在教室哭了起來，她不知道練球回 來拿東西的我，看了她一個多小時。我的第四個女朋友，一直很不喜歡她，有次她們兩個吵了起來，我知道依她的個性不會去惹事，但我還是護著女朋友，她被我吼 了一下後，愣住，眼淚滑了下來，我無視她的眼淚，陪女友走出教室，第二天，她依舊嘻嘻哈哈的和我開玩笑，我知道她很難過，但她不會知道我的心不比她好受。
當我和第五個女朋友分手時，我約她出去玩，玩了一天，我對她說：「我有事要對妳說。」她說：「真巧，我也有事要對你說。」「我和她分手了。」「我和他在一起了。」我知道「他」是誰，他追她也有一陣子了，是個蠻可愛的男孩子，活潑有趣，充滿了熱情，追她追得滿城風雨。我不能表現自己的心痛，只能笑笑 地恭喜她，但當我回到家，心中的痛楚強烈得令我無法承受，像有個千斤重的石頭壓在我胸口，我無法呼吸，想大叫卻叫不出來，眼淚竟然滑了下來，我掩面大哭， 多少次，我也看著她為了那個不願承認的人掩面大哭。
畢業典禮時，我在手機上發現了一封簡訊，這是十天前，我掩面大哭時傳來的，只是我一直沒有去開過機。
「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」
葉が樹から落ちるの事は風の追うか、樹の留まらないか
++++葉子++++
高中時，喜歡蒐集葉子，why？因為我覺得，一片葉子要離開它長期依賴的樹，好勇敢哩！
高中三年，我和一個男孩子很好，不算男女朋友那種好，是好朋友那種好，但是，在他交第一個女朋友時，我學會了一種不該有的感覺，吃醋，心中的酸，不是一顆檸檬可以比喻，那就像是100顆臭酸的檸檬，酸到不行，他們只在一起兩個月，當他們分手，我還得掩飾自己心中強烈的喜悅，但是一個月後，他和另一個女孩子在一起。
我喜歡他，也知道他喜歡我，可是，他為什麼總是不追我呢？明明喜歡彼此，為什麼不行動？每當他交一個女朋友，我就心痛一次，一次又一次的打擊，讓我不禁懷疑，是我一廂情願嗎？不愛我，為什麼要對我那麼好？他對我的好，已經不是普通朋友可以做到。喜歡一個人，好難過，我可以清楚的知道他的喜好，他的習慣，唯獨他對我的感覺，我猜不透，難道要我這個女孩子去開口嗎？
儘管如此，我還是想在他身邊，關心他，陪他，愛他，也許算是一種等待的行為，等待他回來愛我，就像每天晚上等他的電話，等他的簡訊，我知道，就算他再忙， 也會撥出一些時間給我。這樣的等待，陪了我三年，等待是難熬的，是令人想放棄的，但等到的那一剎那，讓人第二天會繼續等下去。這樣的煎熬，這樣的痛苦，這樣的幸福，這樣的矛盾，陪了我三年。
直到三年級下學期，高二一個學弟喜歡上我，每天的熱情追求，令我從一開始的拒絕，漸漸願意挪出我心房的一些位置給他。他像一陣溫柔而持久的風，撩撥我這片搖搖欲墜的葉子，到最後，我發現我已經不想只留一點點的位置給這陣風，我知道這陣風，會帶我這片傷痕累累的葉子，到更幸福的地方。
於是我離開了樹，樹只是笑笑，沒有挽留。
「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」
****風****
因為我喜歡的女孩子叫葉子，因為她有一棵令她依戀的樹，所以我要當一陣風，一陣呵護她的風。
第一次看見她，是高二我轉來一個月後的事，個子小小的她坐在球場旁，一雙眼凝視著同和我在球場的學長，每天的社團時間，她總會坐在那裏，一個人，和朋友，她的眼光依舊凝視著他，當他和女孩子打打鬧鬧，她的眼中有淚，當他看向她，她的眼中有笑。看她成了我的習慣，就像她愛看他。
有一天她沒來，我心中沒來由的焦慮與不安，我無法解釋那種感覺，除了不安，還是不安，而且那學長竟然也不在。我衝去他們教室，躲在外面，看著學長罵她，她的眼淚，他的離去。
第二天，她依舊坐在場邊，看著他，我走過去，對她笑一笑，拿了張紙條給她，她先是驚訝的看著我，然後笑笑地收下。
隔天，她拿著紙條出現在我面前，然後離開。
「葉子的心太沈重，風吹不動。」
「不是葉子的心太沈重，是葉子根本就不想離開樹。」
我回給她這段話後，她漸漸會和我說話，收我的禮物，接我的電話。
我知道她喜歡的不是我，但我還是有毅力一定要讓她喜歡上我，四個月內我告白了不下20次，每一次她都轉移話題，但我還是不會放棄，我決定要的人，我就一定會給她追過來！
一直到不知道第幾次的告白，出了口，雖然知道她一定會又說到別的事，但還是有一絲絲希望她的答應，沒想到她都不說話，「妳在幹嘛？怎麼不說話？」我對著話筒說。
「我在點頭。」
「啊？」我不敢相信自己的耳朵。
「我在點頭！」她大聲叫。
我甩掉電話，匆匆披上一件衣服，上了機車，衝去她們家按門鈴，當她開門的那一剎那，緊緊抱住她。
「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」
二十四岁的那年
等了二十四年，这一天终于来临了。
一个小镇中住着一个男孩。这是个热闹的小镇，可是男孩的住处位于小镇的边缘，即使白天再吵闹，夜晚再喧哗，男孩的住处附近总是洋溢着一股莫名的寂静。尽管有再多的孩子经过男孩的屋前，孩子们总不愿参杂这个男孩玩，原因是这位男孩是一个残障人士——他，没有一颗和大家一样的心，他的心是很独特的，很富爱心的，但却是自私的。一直以来，男孩从来都不知道原来自己是残障的，直到十三岁夏天的某个下午。。
男孩出生在一个开心、热闹的大家庭里。有着四个姐姐的呵护，双亲无微不至的关爱与保护，以及一位可爱的弟弟。懂事以来，男孩都呈现了一个健康宝宝应有的特征。男孩很好动，很喜欢东闯西撞，闹出的麻烦往往都给妈妈带来了抱怨跟烦恼，可是妈妈嘴里的痛骂，心里却是一股得意。
“这孩子真可爱！可是却好伤脑筋。。”妈妈常自己说到。
孩子在温暖的环境下成长，培养了一个大爱的心。当看到人家有难事，总会想向前帮一把，但由于胆子小的缘故，往往只有想的份儿。有一次，孩子看到了邻家男孩被两只狗儿围攻，本想上前助阵，可是发抖的四肢阻止了他内心的冲动，只得眼睁睁看着邻家男孩悲惨地被两只狗儿咬了一身，真可谓心有余而力不足。
开始懂事以来，男孩就最爱妈妈了。什么事情都是“妈妈”“妈妈”的，时常哄得妈妈很是开心，对妈妈而言，男孩是她的心肝宝贝。
四岁的那一年，男孩顽皮的爬上了木质阶梯的扶手，向顺着滑下楼，可是一个不小心，男孩失去平衡，从旁边掉了下去。该阶梯是在屋外的，沿着阶梯的一边是墙壁，另外有扶手的一边却是地面。这下不好了，男孩这一跌，眼看就要直接栽入地面上了。
“噼哩跨啦——————”就是一阵寂静。
男孩没有跌倒在地面上，反倒的，男孩被卡在一个长在旁边的纸花树上，男孩简直痛不闶声，哭叫不出来了。在当场的弟弟看到了，冲向在厨房妈妈，咦咦啊啊地，加上指指点点，妈妈也似乎捉到了些许头绪，赶到现场，简直不敢相信眼前浮现的情景哈。。男孩被卡在树上动弹不得，妈妈费了好多的精神与力气才把男孩释放了下来。男孩解脱后只是一味的离开现场，又开始嘻哈起来，可从来没有回过头看看双手臂被挂伤刺伤的妈妈，妈妈肯定也是忍着痛楚感谢着男孩平安无事吧。。
发觉到妈妈真伟大。为了自己的亲身骨肉，可以不顾虑到自己的自身安全。天下的孩子们大家都听好，我们的妈妈是最伟大的！当别人问你哪一个是世界上最伟大人物时，千万不要有疑惑的答案，不正是大家的母亲吗？
男孩的一生充满了惊险，可是从来没有过生命危险，这是一大庆幸之事！
男孩逐渐成长。在成长的过程中大多都是快乐且难忘的经历，一块到家里附近的湖泊钓鱼、一块到山里砍竹然后做风筝、一块蹲在马车路旁大弹珠等。每一个游戏在男孩着成长过程中都对他造成了很大的影响。男孩的童年生活是幸福的，也很丰富。
男孩当时住在廉价住宅区中，附近很是热闹，大人多，小孩更多。每逢下课的时间，大街小巷都是人潮。大人们忙着他们的生活，小孩亦忙着他们的小生活。住宅区中孩童们的玩意儿是很有规律的，一段时间是风筝，一段时间是弹珠，一段时间是钓鱼，接下来可能有轮回风筝了，很朴素，但却带着淡淡的温馨。男孩的年代可没什么电脑游戏，更没有卫星电视。电台播的永远都是老套的卡通经典，如闪电猫、蒙面超人、初代变身金刚、蓝精灵等的幼稚儿童节目，但当然，男孩跟朋友们是当时的少年，还是很着迷这类的卡通，往往看了还会与朋友聚在一起表演动作讨论剧情。
男孩是过着如此单纯快乐的生活，无忧无虑。每天该想的只是“如果可以骗过妈妈出去跟朋友玩呢？”“待会走后门回家不会被妈妈发现吧？”
当时天真的想法令现在的男孩想了都会心一笑。。难道妈妈真会不知道男孩打的鬼主意吗？是妈妈太爱男孩了，使得她唯有闭只眼让他出去玩。
其实不是男孩而已，是男孩和弟弟。不管任何事情，有男孩在的地方总会看到弟弟，他们有种非常微妙的关系，因为他们是孪生兄弟。男孩不能没有弟弟，弟弟也不能没有男孩这个哥哥。他们关系好到比一对情侣还好吧，虽然频率的吵架与打架很令人担心，可是他们却是世界上最了解双方的人。
男孩很庆幸一路以来都有弟弟的陪伴，弟弟就好像他的照明灯，也型同跟班，角色永远不是前者就是后者。因为有弟弟的鼓励，有弟弟的关爱，所以男孩有勇气接受自己残障的事实。男孩真的很爱他的弟弟，也很想念他。
一个小镇中住着一个男孩。这是个热闹的小镇，可是男孩的住处位于小镇的边缘，即使白天再吵闹，夜晚再喧哗，男孩的住处附近总是洋溢着一股莫名的寂静。尽管有再多的孩子经过男孩的屋前，孩子们总不愿参杂这个男孩玩，原因是这位男孩是一个残障人士——他，没有一颗和大家一样的心，他的心是很独特的，很富爱心的，但却是自私的。一直以来，男孩从来都不知道原来自己是残障的，直到十三岁夏天的某个下午。。
男孩出生在一个开心、热闹的大家庭里。有着四个姐姐的呵护，双亲无微不至的关爱与保护，以及一位可爱的弟弟。懂事以来，男孩都呈现了一个健康宝宝应有的特征。男孩很好动，很喜欢东闯西撞，闹出的麻烦往往都给妈妈带来了抱怨跟烦恼，可是妈妈嘴里的痛骂，心里却是一股得意。
“这孩子真可爱！可是却好伤脑筋。。”妈妈常自己说到。
孩子在温暖的环境下成长，培养了一个大爱的心。当看到人家有难事，总会想向前帮一把，但由于胆子小的缘故，往往只有想的份儿。有一次，孩子看到了邻家男孩被两只狗儿围攻，本想上前助阵，可是发抖的四肢阻止了他内心的冲动，只得眼睁睁看着邻家男孩悲惨地被两只狗儿咬了一身，真可谓心有余而力不足。
开始懂事以来，男孩就最爱妈妈了。什么事情都是“妈妈”“妈妈”的，时常哄得妈妈很是开心，对妈妈而言，男孩是她的心肝宝贝。
四岁的那一年，男孩顽皮的爬上了木质阶梯的扶手，向顺着滑下楼，可是一个不小心，男孩失去平衡，从旁边掉了下去。该阶梯是在屋外的，沿着阶梯的一边是墙壁，另外有扶手的一边却是地面。这下不好了，男孩这一跌，眼看就要直接栽入地面上了。
“噼哩跨啦——————”就是一阵寂静。
男孩没有跌倒在地面上，反倒的，男孩被卡在一个长在旁边的纸花树上，男孩简直痛不闶声，哭叫不出来了。在当场的弟弟看到了，冲向在厨房妈妈，咦咦啊啊地，加上指指点点，妈妈也似乎捉到了些许头绪，赶到现场，简直不敢相信眼前浮现的情景哈。。男孩被卡在树上动弹不得，妈妈费了好多的精神与力气才把男孩释放了下来。男孩解脱后只是一味的离开现场，又开始嘻哈起来，可从来没有回过头看看双手臂被挂伤刺伤的妈妈，妈妈肯定也是忍着痛楚感谢着男孩平安无事吧。。
发觉到妈妈真伟大。为了自己的亲身骨肉，可以不顾虑到自己的自身安全。天下的孩子们大家都听好，我们的妈妈是最伟大的！当别人问你哪一个是世界上最伟大人物时，千万不要有疑惑的答案，不正是大家的母亲吗？
男孩的一生充满了惊险，可是从来没有过生命危险，这是一大庆幸之事！
男孩逐渐成长。在成长的过程中大多都是快乐且难忘的经历，一块到家里附近的湖泊钓鱼、一块到山里砍竹然后做风筝、一块蹲在马车路旁大弹珠等。每一个游戏在男孩着成长过程中都对他造成了很大的影响。男孩的童年生活是幸福的，也很丰富。
男孩当时住在廉价住宅区中，附近很是热闹，大人多，小孩更多。每逢下课的时间，大街小巷都是人潮。大人们忙着他们的生活，小孩亦忙着他们的小生活。住宅区中孩童们的玩意儿是很有规律的，一段时间是风筝，一段时间是弹珠，一段时间是钓鱼，接下来可能有轮回风筝了，很朴素，但却带着淡淡的温馨。男孩的年代可没什么电脑游戏，更没有卫星电视。电台播的永远都是老套的卡通经典，如闪电猫、蒙面超人、初代变身金刚、蓝精灵等的幼稚儿童节目，但当然，男孩跟朋友们是当时的少年，还是很着迷这类的卡通，往往看了还会与朋友聚在一起表演动作讨论剧情。
男孩是过着如此单纯快乐的生活，无忧无虑。每天该想的只是“如果可以骗过妈妈出去跟朋友玩呢？”“待会走后门回家不会被妈妈发现吧？”
当时天真的想法令现在的男孩想了都会心一笑。。难道妈妈真会不知道男孩打的鬼主意吗？是妈妈太爱男孩了，使得她唯有闭只眼让他出去玩。
其实不是男孩而已，是男孩和弟弟。不管任何事情，有男孩在的地方总会看到弟弟，他们有种非常微妙的关系，因为他们是孪生兄弟。男孩不能没有弟弟，弟弟也不能没有男孩这个哥哥。他们关系好到比一对情侣还好吧，虽然频率的吵架与打架很令人担心，可是他们却是世界上最了解双方的人。
男孩很庆幸一路以来都有弟弟的陪伴，弟弟就好像他的照明灯，也型同跟班，角色永远不是前者就是后者。因为有弟弟的鼓励，有弟弟的关爱，所以男孩有勇气接受自己残障的事实。男孩真的很爱他的弟弟，也很想念他。
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