31 JAN '13, THU, 12:00AM

In fact I still miss you. Though I might have forgotten about you when I am busy and occupied.

These days I have been drinking so much, is it because of you?

But it is still funny when I think back that, words from a drunkard's mouth would lead our relationship to an ending.

I know you do not love me anymore. So it is time to move on maybe, when my heart is strong enough, perhaps.

FW: Lim Guan Eng's speech - EXCELLENT!;

Forewords from Steve:

Firstly I apologize for forwarding to everyone, as I do not have time to go through my list one by one.

Please read if you are a Malaysian. For the country, we need to have a mutual understanding and then a mutual goals.

I love Malaysia.

Regards,
Steve

           Lim Guan Eng's speech - WELL WRITTEN!

 

Since Merdeka, two million Malaysians have migrated overseas

because they do not see a future for themselves and for Malaysia. It is

time that we don't live in our past that is filled with hatred and fear.

We should look to the future filled with hope and harmony between

all Malaysians.

To put the past behind us, we must stop the politics of race and religion.
To put the past behind us, we must end corruption.
To put the past behind us, we must abolish the suppression, oppression, repression of our basic human rights and freedoms.
To put the past behind us, we must demand good governance and performance from our ministers.

To attain peace Malaysians must stand united and reject those who wish to divide us by preaching racial and religious hatred.

If we want to benefit from equal opportunities and realize our human potential we must stop extremists from continually degrading others as inferiors so as to uplift ourselves.

Why should Allah not be allowed to be used in the Bible when it is used in the Middle East?

We can only achieve harmony together.

Despite our differences and diversity, Malaysians can make our common aspirations of freedom, justice, democracy and truth

come true if we remember key values.

That it is not who we are that is important, but what we are that is important; not the colour of our skin that is important but the

content of our character; and not our past ancestry that is important but how we connect with the present and with each other to face the future.

We can only be prosperous together.

The time has come to focus on the economy, in employment, education and business opportunities as the conditions for prosperity.
We must build human talent and be performance-based.

For those who say that PR do not know how to govern, the 4 PR states of Penang, Selangor, Kedah and Kelantan have proven our

ability by beating the other 10 BN states by attracting RM25 billion in investments comprising 53% of Malaysia's total investments of

RM47.2 billion in 2010. For the first time in history, Penang is now the new champion of investments in Malaysia, coming out top in 2010

with RM 12.2 billion.

To put the past behind us, we must end corruption.
Barisan Nasional cannot reform to end corruption.

Remember, if we do not end corruption, Malaysia dies.

If we end corruption, BN dies.

The choice is clear.

To put the past behind us, we must abolish the suppression, oppression, repression of our basic human rights and freedom.

How can we have a clean government when we do not have clean elections?

We do not want our children to live in fear of oppressive laws as we have lived.

A Pakatan Rakyat government will abolish the UUCA, the Sedition Act and the Printing Presses and Publications Act and restore local government elections.

When can we find justice for Teoh Beng Hock, Ahmad Sarbani and A Kugan?

When will we have Freedom of Information & Freedom of Speech? When can we have justice that is not only done, but is seen to be done.

To put the past behind us, we demand good governance and performance from our ministers.
Malaysia can be an international and intelligent country.

We must have digital intelligence with broadband connectivity.

We must also have integrity intelligence, so ensure that only honest people are the decision-makers.

We must have institutional intelligence under the rule of law.

We demand good governance and performance from our ministers.

Has the Transport Ministry done its duty to run our airports and seaports well?

Look at the Penang International Airport whose completion has been delayed more than 3 times.
And the Penang Port is to be reduced to be a feeder port and privatized to a 3rd party at the expense of Penangites.

Why is there no consultation with the people of Penang to restore the port to its former glory?

Instead of looking after airports and ports, the Transport Ministry is more interested in vehicle registration numbers and wants to increase
the maximum traffic fines to RM2,000.

Director-General of Tourism is wrongly charged of corruption but the Tourism Minister finds nothing wrong with spending RM1.8 million in doing up her Facebook page, when we all know that it can be done for free.

The Health Ministry wants to privatise healthcare when it should be a public good given as an affordable right to all Malaysians.

Why allow the wastage of public funds and affect the quality and affordability of drugs when drugs are bought through a middleman at

higher prices when it could be bought cheaper direct from the manufacturers, some of which are operating in Malaysia.

The Housing and Local Government Ministry opposes local government elections in Penang, denying our fundamental democratic

right to elect our councillors and our mayors.

We believe that Malaysians deserve better. For the last 50 years, the wealth of the nation has been robbed. Let us protect the future of our

children by ensuring we have a people-centric government that protects you instead of harming you, that rewards you instead of

stealing from you, that respects you instead of abusing your rights.

Let us clean up Malaysia to save our children's future.

We must put the past behind us where profits matters more than our health. Lynas concerns all of us because if Lynas is allowed to

operate, Barisan Nasional will proceed with building two nuclear reactors. If we continue to put health above profits, what is the use of

having all the money in the world if you cannot enjoy it healthily?

The next elections shall be fought on the economy. We refuse to allow BN to use race as the issue in the next elections.

We need to increase the incomes of our poor or else they will fall victims to the Ah Longs.

For example, Bank Negara's Annual Report 2010 revealed that Malaysia's household debt at the end of 2010 was RM581 billion or 

76 per cent of GDP, thus giving us the dubious honour of having the

second-highest level of household debt in Asia.

In addition, the Malaysian household debt service ratio stood at 47.8 per cent in 2010, meaning that nearly half of the average family's

income goes to repaying debts. As a rule, banks would not lend money to those whose total servicing of loans exceeded one third of their income.

In other words, we are spiralling into an indebted nation.

According to the New Economic Model documents, the bottom 40% of Malaysian households are living with a monthly average income of RM1,500 (and three-quarters of them are bumiputera) while 60% of the households (of four persons averagely) live with a less than RM3,000 income, which is near subsistence if one lives in the cities.

These are families living in fear. We will help them live with dignity and not in fear, by increasing their incomes and cutting down their costs, with a minimum wage, getting rid of monopolies, expanding internet connectivity and encouraging creativity, innovation and productivity.

South Korea is a very good example of a nation that chose democracy, performance and freedom of opportunity to become a developed country. With a population of 48 million, its GDP per capita of USD20,000 is more than double Malaysia's. But in 1970, South Korea's per capita GDP was only USD260 compared to Malaysia's USD380. We used to regularly beat South Korea at football. And now our children are fans of K-pop culture and their football team are regulars at the World Cup.

Only when we free ourselves of fear of change, can we be free to prosper. BN cannot change.
They need to be changed, for BN wants to rule by fear.
Thomas Jefferson has said "When the governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny". The choice is yours, my friends. I urge you - Let us change so we can have liberty and live with dignity.

*Lim Guan Eng, DAP Secretary General & MP for Bagan

Please remember, by 7th level this email will reach 1 million people and that is only when each of us forward it to 10 people
Please do it for the sake of our future. This is a good deed that all Malaysians MUST DO. It is our duty to save our nation.

You are going to save 28 million people. Please do so.

TOGETHER, WE ALL CAN MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN !!!

Please send this to 10 other relatives or friends and ask them to do the same to 10 of their friends and so on.

By so doing we are enlisting the power of multilevel marketing.
Yes the math works and it is awesome.

By the 7th level this message would reach 1,000,000 people.

Yes we can make our vote count!

Better believe it!!

We owe it to ourselves and to our children.

 

 If you'd like to forward this email, please use only Bcc & delete my email address. Thanks.

 

 

 

21 JAN '13, MON, 8:31AM

真的是很奇怪，马来人就是喜欢别人先对他付出

自己不愿意提供的东西，又希望人家提供。有点『己所不欲勿施于人』的感觉。

很显。

20TH JAN '13, SUN, 3:23PM

Today is almost the 1 month anniversary of our last cold war. It was in 21st December haha :")

I am fortunate to have met you in life.

18TH JAN '13, FRI, 1:58PM

你对我一天一天的冷淡，是为什么呢？

可能你已经找到了另外一半，我是这样想。没想到我还是那么爱你。失败。

16 JAN '13, WED, 10:14AM

已经好久没有和你联络了，因为不想让你烦。

因为我还深爱着你，因为我还在乎你，所以我不想让你对我的印象打折扣。

你好笨，真的以为我不爱你。

15 JAN '12, TUE, 12:01AM

已经好累了
退也有一点累了
我们都不知道路多远
走到何时才歇一歇
不如就现在吧
让我们都停下
但是在休息后
我们就不知道继续走的理由

雨都停了
天都亮了
自己都不懂
这爱情路究竟带着我到什么地方
是要继续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我的确是有一点疲倦

《不懂》林俊杰

9 JAN '13, WED, 12:13PM

你对我的爱，原来胜不过我无心的言语。

7 JAN '13, MON, 12:45PM

No appetite for lunch now, as everything is moody.

Lost RM250 for friend's flight ticket..
Lost RM280 for a bottle of Green Label..
Lost RM237 for a flight ticket duplication...

RM800.. POOOOFFFF! lol

I gonna earn more money if not I wouldn't be able to cover for my mistakes and commitments.

6 JAN '13, SUN, 10:08PM

期盼着你主动的联系，可是没有。。

可能你对我完全失去兴趣了。看到你面子书写的，会否是给我的，我也已经不知道了。

你“喜欢”的贴子，说了“打电话”的那个，看来可能不是给我的。

越来越失望啦。心好痛，可是还是想给你机会，没有的话，我就继续我的人生啦。

6 JAN '12, SUN, 2:15PM

Have parted the blog for 4 days. Had a strong urge to post 1 or 2 entries when I was in Bintulu 2-3 days ago, but didn't have the chance. The feeling was strong, especially on the 4th.

It is been quite some time, and I am numb today. Dunno why.

Many commitment lately by the way, I don't know how long can I sustain. I gotta earn more money by looking into other opportunities. Thanks to McOcean for giving me this pressure.

They are right, "Everything happens for a reason".

2 JAN '13, WED, 10:02AM

看样子，机会已经不很大了

希望你可以快点找到那一位，我也可以继续我的生命。

1 JAN '13, TUE, 3:05PM

Flashing through my old computer folders and files, there are so many memories which I have long abandoned and forgotten.

Thanks to today, I got to recall what I have left behind. Finding those memories and touches of life will make myself stronger this year.

Have also posted 2 entries before this post.

The former talks about my childhood, my family, my interest and my feeling. I was 24 when I wrote those.

The latter are 3 stories which I have collected for more than 5 years, and I love them so much.

Leave, tree and wind. I wonder which one is me.

葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留

----樹----

會叫樹的原因，是因為我擅長畫水彩畫，最愛畫樹，久而久之，我的畫作右下方索性以一棵樹來代表我。

高中三年交過五個女朋友，有一個女孩子，我很愛她，卻遲遲不敢追，她沒有美麗的面孔，沒有姣好的身材，沒有撩人的魅力，一個再平凡不過的女孩子。我喜歡她，真的真的很喜歡她，喜歡她的單純，她的直率，她的可愛，她的智障，她的脆弱。

不追她的原因，也許是潛意識覺得平凡如她配不上我；也許是因為怕在一起後，一切的好感都會消失；也許是怕外人的指指點點傷害了她；也許是覺得，她會是我的，不用急著為了她而放棄一切。

最後這個原因，讓她陪了我三年，讓她看著我和別的女孩子廝混了三年，讓她心痛了三年。

她很想當一個好演員，但我卻像一個嚴苛的導演。我和第二個女朋友在廁所接吻，被她撞見，她尷尬的笑笑說：「Go on！」然後跑掉，第二天，她眼睛腫得跟核桃一樣，我故意不去猜想是誰讓她哭成這樣，嘲笑了她一天，她在所有人都回家後，在教室哭了起來，她不知道練球回 來拿東西的我，看了她一個多小時。我的第四個女朋友，一直很不喜歡她，有次她們兩個吵了起來，我知道依她的個性不會去惹事，但我還是護著女朋友，她被我吼 了一下後，愣住，眼淚滑了下來，我無視她的眼淚，陪女友走出教室，第二天，她依舊嘻嘻哈哈的和我開玩笑，我知道她很難過，但她不會知道我的心不比她好受。

當我和第五個女朋友分手時，我約她出去玩，玩了一天，我對她說：「我有事要對妳說。」她說：「真巧，我也有事要對你說。」「我和她分手了。」「我和他在一起了。」我知道「他」是誰，他追她也有一陣子了，是個蠻可愛的男孩子，活潑有趣，充滿了熱情，追她追得滿城風雨。我不能表現自己的心痛，只能笑笑 地恭喜她，但當我回到家，心中的痛楚強烈得令我無法承受，像有個千斤重的石頭壓在我胸口，我無法呼吸，想大叫卻叫不出來，眼淚竟然滑了下來，我掩面大哭， 多少次，我也看著她為了那個不願承認的人掩面大哭。

畢業典禮時，我在手機上發現了一封簡訊，這是十天前，我掩面大哭時傳來的，只是我一直沒有去開過機。

「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」

葉が樹から落ちるの事は風の追うか、樹の留まらないか


++++葉子++++

高中時，喜歡蒐集葉子，why？因為我覺得，一片葉子要離開它長期依賴的樹，好勇敢哩！

高中三年，我和一個男孩子很好，不算男女朋友那種好，是好朋友那種好，但是，在他交第一個女朋友時，我學會了一種不該有的感覺，吃醋，心中的酸，不是一顆檸檬可以比喻，那就像是100顆臭酸的檸檬，酸到不行，他們只在一起兩個月，當他們分手，我還得掩飾自己心中強烈的喜悅，但是一個月後，他和另一個女孩子在一起。

我喜歡他，也知道他喜歡我，可是，他為什麼總是不追我呢？明明喜歡彼此，為什麼不行動？每當他交一個女朋友，我就心痛一次，一次又一次的打擊，讓我不禁懷疑，是我一廂情願嗎？不愛我，為什麼要對我那麼好？他對我的好，已經不是普通朋友可以做到。喜歡一個人，好難過，我可以清楚的知道他的喜好，他的習慣，唯獨他對我的感覺，我猜不透，難道要我這個女孩子去開口嗎？

儘管如此，我還是想在他身邊，關心他，陪他，愛他，也許算是一種等待的行為，等待他回來愛我，就像每天晚上等他的電話，等他的簡訊，我知道，就算他再忙， 也會撥出一些時間給我。這樣的等待，陪了我三年，等待是難熬的，是令人想放棄的，但等到的那一剎那，讓人第二天會繼續等下去。這樣的煎熬，這樣的痛苦，這樣的幸福，這樣的矛盾，陪了我三年。

直到三年級下學期，高二一個學弟喜歡上我，每天的熱情追求，令我從一開始的拒絕，漸漸願意挪出我心房的一些位置給他。他像一陣溫柔而持久的風，撩撥我這片搖搖欲墜的葉子，到最後，我發現我已經不想只留一點點的位置給這陣風，我知道這陣風，會帶我這片傷痕累累的葉子，到更幸福的地方。

於是我離開了樹，樹只是笑笑，沒有挽留。

「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」



****風****

因為我喜歡的女孩子叫葉子，因為她有一棵令她依戀的樹，所以我要當一陣風，一陣呵護她的風。

第一次看見她，是高二我轉來一個月後的事，個子小小的她坐在球場旁，一雙眼凝視著同和我在球場的學長，每天的社團時間，她總會坐在那裏，一個人，和朋友，她的眼光依舊凝視著他，當他和女孩子打打鬧鬧，她的眼中有淚，當他看向她，她的眼中有笑。看她成了我的習慣，就像她愛看他。

有一天她沒來，我心中沒來由的焦慮與不安，我無法解釋那種感覺，除了不安，還是不安，而且那學長竟然也不在。我衝去他們教室，躲在外面，看著學長罵她，她的眼淚，他的離去。

第二天，她依舊坐在場邊，看著他，我走過去，對她笑一笑，拿了張紙條給她，她先是驚訝的看著我，然後笑笑地收下。

隔天，她拿著紙條出現在我面前，然後離開。

「葉子的心太沈重，風吹不動。」
「不是葉子的心太沈重，是葉子根本就不想離開樹。」

我回給她這段話後，她漸漸會和我說話，收我的禮物，接我的電話。

我知道她喜歡的不是我，但我還是有毅力一定要讓她喜歡上我，四個月內我告白了不下20次，每一次她都轉移話題，但我還是不會放棄，我決定要的人，我就一定會給她追過來！

一直到不知道第幾次的告白，出了口，雖然知道她一定會又說到別的事，但還是有一絲絲希望她的答應，沒想到她都不說話，「妳在幹嘛？怎麼不說話？」我對著話筒說。

「我在點頭。」
「啊？」我不敢相信自己的耳朵。
「我在點頭！」她大聲叫。

我甩掉電話，匆匆披上一件衣服，上了機車，衝去她們家按門鈴，當她開門的那一剎那，緊緊抱住她。

「葉子的離開，是因為風的追求，還是樹的不挽留。」

二十四岁的那年

等了二十四年，这一天终于来临了。

一个小镇中住着一个男孩。这是个热闹的小镇，可是男孩的住处位于小镇的边缘，即使白天再吵闹，夜晚再喧哗，男孩的住处附近总是洋溢着一股莫名的寂静。尽管有再多的孩子经过男孩的屋前，孩子们总不愿参杂这个男孩玩，原因是这位男孩是一个残障人士——他，没有一颗和大家一样的心，他的心是很独特的，很富爱心的，但却是自私的。一直以来，男孩从来都不知道原来自己是残障的，直到十三岁夏天的某个下午。。

男孩出生在一个开心、热闹的大家庭里。有着四个姐姐的呵护，双亲无微不至的关爱与保护，以及一位可爱的弟弟。懂事以来，男孩都呈现了一个健康宝宝应有的特征。男孩很好动，很喜欢东闯西撞，闹出的麻烦往往都给妈妈带来了抱怨跟烦恼，可是妈妈嘴里的痛骂，心里却是一股得意。

“这孩子真可爱！可是却好伤脑筋。。”妈妈常自己说到。

孩子在温暖的环境下成长，培养了一个大爱的心。当看到人家有难事，总会想向前帮一把，但由于胆子小的缘故，往往只有想的份儿。有一次，孩子看到了邻家男孩被两只狗儿围攻，本想上前助阵，可是发抖的四肢阻止了他内心的冲动，只得眼睁睁看着邻家男孩悲惨地被两只狗儿咬了一身，真可谓心有余而力不足。

开始懂事以来，男孩就最爱妈妈了。什么事情都是“妈妈”“妈妈”的，时常哄得妈妈很是开心，对妈妈而言，男孩是她的心肝宝贝。

四岁的那一年，男孩顽皮的爬上了木质阶梯的扶手，向顺着滑下楼，可是一个不小心，男孩失去平衡，从旁边掉了下去。该阶梯是在屋外的，沿着阶梯的一边是墙壁，另外有扶手的一边却是地面。这下不好了，男孩这一跌，眼看就要直接栽入地面上了。

“噼哩跨啦——————”就是一阵寂静。

男孩没有跌倒在地面上，反倒的，男孩被卡在一个长在旁边的纸花树上，男孩简直痛不闶声，哭叫不出来了。在当场的弟弟看到了，冲向在厨房妈妈，咦咦啊啊地，加上指指点点，妈妈也似乎捉到了些许头绪，赶到现场，简直不敢相信眼前浮现的情景哈。。男孩被卡在树上动弹不得，妈妈费了好多的精神与力气才把男孩释放了下来。男孩解脱后只是一味的离开现场，又开始嘻哈起来，可从来没有回过头看看双手臂被挂伤刺伤的妈妈，妈妈肯定也是忍着痛楚感谢着男孩平安无事吧。。

发觉到妈妈真伟大。为了自己的亲身骨肉，可以不顾虑到自己的自身安全。天下的孩子们大家都听好，我们的妈妈是最伟大的！当别人问你哪一个是世界上最伟大人物时，千万不要有疑惑的答案，不正是大家的母亲吗？

男孩的一生充满了惊险，可是从来没有过生命危险，这是一大庆幸之事！

男孩逐渐成长。在成长的过程中大多都是快乐且难忘的经历，一块到家里附近的湖泊钓鱼、一块到山里砍竹然后做风筝、一块蹲在马车路旁大弹珠等。每一个游戏在男孩着成长过程中都对他造成了很大的影响。男孩的童年生活是幸福的，也很丰富。

男孩当时住在廉价住宅区中，附近很是热闹，大人多，小孩更多。每逢下课的时间，大街小巷都是人潮。大人们忙着他们的生活，小孩亦忙着他们的小生活。住宅区中孩童们的玩意儿是很有规律的，一段时间是风筝，一段时间是弹珠，一段时间是钓鱼，接下来可能有轮回风筝了，很朴素，但却带着淡淡的温馨。男孩的年代可没什么电脑游戏，更没有卫星电视。电台播的永远都是老套的卡通经典，如闪电猫、蒙面超人、初代变身金刚、蓝精灵等的幼稚儿童节目，但当然，男孩跟朋友们是当时的少年，还是很着迷这类的卡通，往往看了还会与朋友聚在一起表演动作讨论剧情。

男孩是过着如此单纯快乐的生活，无忧无虑。每天该想的只是“如果可以骗过妈妈出去跟朋友玩呢？”“待会走后门回家不会被妈妈发现吧？”

当时天真的想法令现在的男孩想了都会心一笑。。难道妈妈真会不知道男孩打的鬼主意吗？是妈妈太爱男孩了，使得她唯有闭只眼让他出去玩。

其实不是男孩而已，是男孩和弟弟。不管任何事情，有男孩在的地方总会看到弟弟，他们有种非常微妙的关系，因为他们是孪生兄弟。男孩不能没有弟弟，弟弟也不能没有男孩这个哥哥。他们关系好到比一对情侣还好吧，虽然频率的吵架与打架很令人担心，可是他们却是世界上最了解双方的人。

男孩很庆幸一路以来都有弟弟的陪伴，弟弟就好像他的照明灯，也型同跟班，角色永远不是前者就是后者。因为有弟弟的鼓励，有弟弟的关爱，所以男孩有勇气接受自己残障的事实。男孩真的很爱他的弟弟，也很想念他。