It has been a couple of days (maybe a week of time) since I last texted you normally.
The grinding feeling in my heart has yet to be faded away.
After disabling the "Last Seen Time" in Whatsapps (which I did because of you), it eased me a little but..... This morning, when I in the first time saw you "Online", my heart again pounded hard.
Ahhh.. when will this feeling going to end.
I miss you, and yet I wish to give up on you; I want to cry, yet I am suffering in dry-eyes.
Come to think of it again, What I did these few months are mostly for your sake, because of you.. I started to take numerous supplements (of more than RM1500 in 4 months) and I started to do facial, I started to update my blog (and all are about you), I started to take more cigarettes, I started to drink more heavily, I started to act strange and tend to be more lonely, I used LINE and quitted it because of you, I disabled my Whatsapps "Last Seen Time".. I have spent RM900 for my dental problem because I am concern about my bad breath, I played Instagram more occasionally.. I started to listen to "A thousand years" repeatedly.. I also started to appreciate "Broken Wings" meaning.. I looked into our friend list, I tried and learn what you were doing (which really kill me many times).. Too much and too many to mention.
Why have I become like this.. And the reason is just because of wishing to have you..
Lord.. spare me in any way it deems right!!
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