I foresee we might not be seeing each other anymore in the future with minimal communications.
Now that you have found someone you think he can last "forever" with you, there is no point for me to do something in pursuing you. It will only irritates you.
In fact, if you ask me one day why do I stop to communicate with you, my answer would be:
"If I am not getting reply upon a text, that means that you are not available or not in the mood to reply me. So if that is the case, I will be on the passive, and reply to what you text me first, isn't that better and won't irritate you?"
I know I have been demanding too much from you, and I am wrong. I shouldn't know you in the first place. I am very regret.
Till the day I can face you head's on, well.. I really don't know.
Life is but a laughable movie.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
15TH NOV '13, FRI, 2:57PM
I love you dearly.
You wore my cloth, you went to Station One (which you told me it was your first time), I am happy.
But when you said you are with a friend, I am sad. You were going for a late movie, and you texted me good night at 1am.
I was sad again.
In the morning I texted you for lunch at McD. You said you can't, and you just stopped to reply me, I was sad again.
My happiness and sadness are all about you. I smoke because of you, because it is too painful that, without smoking I would feel that I am suffocating.
Love you Dein..
You wore my cloth, you went to Station One (which you told me it was your first time), I am happy.
But when you said you are with a friend, I am sad. You were going for a late movie, and you texted me good night at 1am.
I was sad again.
In the morning I texted you for lunch at McD. You said you can't, and you just stopped to reply me, I was sad again.
My happiness and sadness are all about you. I smoke because of you, because it is too painful that, without smoking I would feel that I am suffocating.
Love you Dein..
Monday, November 11, 2013
Reminiscence - 10.11.13
Today I got the chance to be with you.
When I asked you out, you hesitated. But you agreed. You know Din, I want to give you everything I can afford.
I asked if you wanna have lunch, and you said you have to ask your mom. And your mom asked you to lunch outside. And so, I fetched you from your house, waiting anticipatively inside the car, imagining what would you be wearing.
Ah, white-green t-shirt with orange shorts with a flip-flop. And a blue hat. How cute ^^
You never stared at me inside the car, and I couldn't help myself to keep staring at you when I was driving. I knew you noticed, and may be you are shy to look at me.
We went to have late lunch at Station One upon arriving to Bintang. And beforehand, I bought us both entries to the restroom. I was trying my best to walk side-by-side with you. I wanted to let you know that despite of your race, I will always be standing by you. I wouldn't be shy; Ah well, maybe you were the one who was shy to walk side-by-side to me.
I order chicken rice with iced coffee, while you ordered lamb chop rice with iced chocolate. We sat inside the restaurant facing each other, as if we were a cute and unmatched couple. And thinking about that now makes me want to cry.
You didn't know how to use the cutlery, and I demonstrated to you over the table. And do you know that, you were so cute when you were trying to cut that chop. When you tasted a bit of my chicken soup, I was also very surprised and warm. For me, that's a boundary that I have made beyond together with you.
And you mentioned about watching Insidious 2, I anxiously but steadily reached for my phone and checked online for the ticket. 1750 Hours, last day of showing in a small room. You have agreed to watch with me, and you chose the row of seat at the back-most, center. You didn't know, I have already started to fantasize sitting beside you, leaning side by side, while holding your hands in the theatre.
We joked and chatted over the lunch, and went into the mall for some walks. Eventually I suggested to leave Bintang to somewhere else, and you agreed to that..
We went to Ming Cafe for a couples of drink. You ordered Vanilla Milk Shake and Chocolate Milk Shake. I ordered Paulaner and 100 plus. I took 2 cigarettes. We chatted for two hours. We talked on a lot of bold topics, and I found myself indulged in the atmosphere.
How on earth can I get more of this kinda chances to hang out with you.
We left Ming around 1715 Hours, and headed for Canada Hill. You went out to the hill side first, while waiting for me who went to restroom. I approached you from your back, and snapped pictures of you starring into the skies and city. And now that I recall, it was such a "shiawase" moment to be able to watch you from your back.
You requested my help to take some pictures, and also to take pictures together. I snapped professionally, wouldn't want to disappoint you. The pictures of us together, are so sweet. I think to myself. I wouldn't expect anyone to have the same feeling as I have, but I am contented, that moment.
After leaving Canada Hill, we returned to Bintang for Insidious 2. We were being cornered by people from our both sides. It was cold, you said that. Din, if there wasn't anyone, do you know I might hug you in my warm arms? Again, imaginations. We were sitting side by side, leaning against each other some times. I really like those feelings.
And so I know it is nearing the end of the day. I brought you for the dinner of the day nearby your house, and awkwardly sent you off from my car.
I gave you a green checker shirt that day. I wish you like that, truthfully. But I don't think you do.
Din, I have never felt so much in love before. I really hope you can be a part of my life. But you have never come across the idea.
For today, I am writing it down. My memory is deteriorating, and I am afraid to lose the tiniest bit of important details of you.
It is all you.
When I asked you out, you hesitated. But you agreed. You know Din, I want to give you everything I can afford.
I asked if you wanna have lunch, and you said you have to ask your mom. And your mom asked you to lunch outside. And so, I fetched you from your house, waiting anticipatively inside the car, imagining what would you be wearing.
Ah, white-green t-shirt with orange shorts with a flip-flop. And a blue hat. How cute ^^
You never stared at me inside the car, and I couldn't help myself to keep staring at you when I was driving. I knew you noticed, and may be you are shy to look at me.
We went to have late lunch at Station One upon arriving to Bintang. And beforehand, I bought us both entries to the restroom. I was trying my best to walk side-by-side with you. I wanted to let you know that despite of your race, I will always be standing by you. I wouldn't be shy; Ah well, maybe you were the one who was shy to walk side-by-side to me.
I order chicken rice with iced coffee, while you ordered lamb chop rice with iced chocolate. We sat inside the restaurant facing each other, as if we were a cute and unmatched couple. And thinking about that now makes me want to cry.
You didn't know how to use the cutlery, and I demonstrated to you over the table. And do you know that, you were so cute when you were trying to cut that chop. When you tasted a bit of my chicken soup, I was also very surprised and warm. For me, that's a boundary that I have made beyond together with you.
And you mentioned about watching Insidious 2, I anxiously but steadily reached for my phone and checked online for the ticket. 1750 Hours, last day of showing in a small room. You have agreed to watch with me, and you chose the row of seat at the back-most, center. You didn't know, I have already started to fantasize sitting beside you, leaning side by side, while holding your hands in the theatre.
We joked and chatted over the lunch, and went into the mall for some walks. Eventually I suggested to leave Bintang to somewhere else, and you agreed to that..
We went to Ming Cafe for a couples of drink. You ordered Vanilla Milk Shake and Chocolate Milk Shake. I ordered Paulaner and 100 plus. I took 2 cigarettes. We chatted for two hours. We talked on a lot of bold topics, and I found myself indulged in the atmosphere.
How on earth can I get more of this kinda chances to hang out with you.
We left Ming around 1715 Hours, and headed for Canada Hill. You went out to the hill side first, while waiting for me who went to restroom. I approached you from your back, and snapped pictures of you starring into the skies and city. And now that I recall, it was such a "shiawase" moment to be able to watch you from your back.
You requested my help to take some pictures, and also to take pictures together. I snapped professionally, wouldn't want to disappoint you. The pictures of us together, are so sweet. I think to myself. I wouldn't expect anyone to have the same feeling as I have, but I am contented, that moment.
After leaving Canada Hill, we returned to Bintang for Insidious 2. We were being cornered by people from our both sides. It was cold, you said that. Din, if there wasn't anyone, do you know I might hug you in my warm arms? Again, imaginations. We were sitting side by side, leaning against each other some times. I really like those feelings.
And so I know it is nearing the end of the day. I brought you for the dinner of the day nearby your house, and awkwardly sent you off from my car.
I gave you a green checker shirt that day. I wish you like that, truthfully. But I don't think you do.
Din, I have never felt so much in love before. I really hope you can be a part of my life. But you have never come across the idea.
For today, I am writing it down. My memory is deteriorating, and I am afraid to lose the tiniest bit of important details of you.
It is all you.
11TH NOV '13, MON, 1:55PM
I am writing this in memorial of our tickling seconds in life. Our togetherness.
It was a great moment to be with you yesterday, and throughout those seconds, I couldn't help myself but thinking of you, and thinking of how to make you laugh, and make you fall in love with me.
Though I know those would be to no avail, I knew that from the right beginning. But, I would still like to leave myself good memories of you till the end of my life.. :)
That's... simply because I am so in love with you, and I love you so much than you can imagine.
You once asked me, do I cry over a person I love. "I don't" was my answer, and it is still. The fact that I don't cry is not because I do not love you enough. I don't cry because I know I need to stand straight and be brave of my future. May be subconsciously I know that I won't be able to stop crying once I have started.
Nordin, I do love you, more than anybody else. Ha. You knew that I loved you, but I bet you never know that I still love you like ever, and like a crazy fella. You won't know that my heart is always at the verge of breaking apart; you never know that I wish so much to COL. You will never know.
Ha. Enough with the feeling expression. I would like to write what I should now.
It was a great moment to be with you yesterday, and throughout those seconds, I couldn't help myself but thinking of you, and thinking of how to make you laugh, and make you fall in love with me.
Though I know those would be to no avail, I knew that from the right beginning. But, I would still like to leave myself good memories of you till the end of my life.. :)
That's... simply because I am so in love with you, and I love you so much than you can imagine.
You once asked me, do I cry over a person I love. "I don't" was my answer, and it is still. The fact that I don't cry is not because I do not love you enough. I don't cry because I know I need to stand straight and be brave of my future. May be subconsciously I know that I won't be able to stop crying once I have started.
Nordin, I do love you, more than anybody else. Ha. You knew that I loved you, but I bet you never know that I still love you like ever, and like a crazy fella. You won't know that my heart is always at the verge of breaking apart; you never know that I wish so much to COL. You will never know.
Ha. Enough with the feeling expression. I would like to write what I should now.
Friday, November 1, 2013
1ST NOV '13, FRI, 9:06AM
今天遇到了你。
身在外面的你，感觉很陌生
第一次看见的你，是那么的温柔
看见你的笑，是多么的温馨
我们并非同族人，可是我们却彼此欣赏对方
我们的故事，有可能会开花成长吗？
我真的是个幸运的人。
身在外面的你，感觉很陌生
第一次看见的你，是那么的温柔
看见你的笑，是多么的温馨
我们并非同族人，可是我们却彼此欣赏对方
我们的故事，有可能会开花成长吗？
我真的是个幸运的人。
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